Later, Naruto, Sasuke and Gaara arrived at the tower. This must be where Jesssica and Sakura are being taken, they could hear the screaming. Gaara charges at the door only to be knocked back. Naruto gets up and frowns, "Man, the door is too durable!" Gaara then tries to open the door but it won't budge. He pulls on it yelling, "Oh man! This thing won't open up!" Meanwhile Naruto conjures some Kyuubi chakra.
"Allow me! This sounds like the job of a strong guy like yours truly!" Kyuubi/Naruto said bravely. Kyuubi/Naruto gets ready to make a big run at the door. Gaara took a step back to allow his friend some move. Gaara then sees a sign on the door. It said 'push'. Gaara smack his forehead. Duh! Gaara then opens the door easily with just a finger.
"Okay, Naruto. I got it...whoa!" Gaara yelped. He was too late as Naruto rush by him and run into the tower. In the tower itself, Seimei, Kankuro and Tayuya walk up a flight of long (and I mean LONG) circular stairs carrying Jessica and Sakura. This is it. They are sure they have succeeded this time.
"Let us go, you rats!" Sakura yelled only to get smacked by Seimei.
"We're villains, kid! Get it right!" Seimei snapped annoyed.
"Of course, if you behave, we may consider keeping you comfy." Kankuro said making a flirting smirk. Jessica and Sakura just punch Kankuro, knocking him back, "Or not."
Suddenly Naruto rush by so fast, the shinobi and the girls have no idea what just happened. Tayuya asked confused, "Did anyone feel that?" Naruto did not realize what's happening. In fact, he went so fast, that when he reached the top of the stairs, he couldn't stop himself as he crashed into a closed glass window in a room up there sending him flying out of the window. Naruto screams while falling through the air. He slammed into an old tree near a cliff that sent him back flying over the tower and right towards a meadow. He goes crashing into a cow, slamming into his behind. Naruto fell back looking dazed.
The cow glares angrily at Naruto and kicks him so far sending him flying into the sky screaming. Naruto collides into a blade of the windmill. The wind spins very fast sending the guy back into the window he crashed out of. Naruto then find himself rolling down the stairs that he came up of, going by Seimei, Kankuro, Tayuya, Jessica and Sakura who looks at him confused.
At the bottom, Naruto groaned as he landed on his face. His friends are waiting for him below looking patiently. As Gaara and Sasuke helped him up, Naruto said with an Anime like look, "The door's open."
"Looks like the ninjateers are here, Seimei." Tayuya coughed as the shinobi continued climbing up the stairs with Jessica and Sakura. "What shall we do with them?"
"Come on! We're 42 floors up. They can't catch up before we get to the top and lock the door up there. So how..." Seimei was interrupted when he noticed his team is looking shocked at something behind him. This made Seimei turn around. To his surprise, Gaara, Sasuke and Naruto are arriving, tired after all that time climbing. "...did they catch up to us so far?"
The three heroes breath in and out as Gaara said, "Not...wheeze...so...deep breath...fast," Naruto soon passed out as Gaara added, "you bad guys!"
"Put the girls in the cage!" Seimei yelled quickly. Tayuya throws Jessica and Sakura into a cage nearby and locks it.
"Hee hee hee. Let's fight!" Kankuro laughed as he, Seimei and Tayuya get their weapons out. They are so going to enjoy beating up the heroes. The heroes get their weapons out, ready to do battle.
"Okay...Sakura is watching...do it for her..." Sasuke mumbled to himself trying to fill himself with confidence. Sasuke make the bravest look he can get and points his katana at Tayuya snapping, "Let the girls go!" Tayuya pauses then gets a multi-barreled gun out from out of nowhere. Sasuke yelps in alarm as Tayuya open fire like mad making the boy run around to avoid being hit. Tayuya soon stop firing, having run out of bullets. That didn't discourage her to pull out another weapon: a Spartan Laser! (A weapon from Halo 3)
Sasuke screams like a girl as he run down the stairs. Sakura rolls her eyes as she remarked, "And they made him a ninjateer?"
"Come on! Anyone who played the Halo game series know better than to deal with someone who has a Spartan Laser!" Sasuke yelled as he kept on running. Naruto and Seimei clashed weapons, with Naruto’s katana against Seimei's sword. It looks like Naruto has the advantage over his enemy. "Look! It’s Princess Ariel from The Little Mermaid!" Seimei yelled as he points behind Naruto.
"What?! Where?" Naruto said while turning around. But that was a bad move. When Naruto turns around, Seimei whacks him over the head sending Naruto to the floor.
Gaara managed to do well against Kankuro this time. He charges at him but Kankuro punches him back knocking Gaara down to the stairs, making him fall.
"Listen to what you're big brother tells ya!" Kankuro yells.
"Geez whiz," Gaara groaned as he got up trying to recover. Naruto reaches for his cork in his gourd but realized something. "Hey, where's my gourd?"
"Looking for this, kid?" Kankuro said with a smirk as he drops Gaara's katana and gourd over the side to the bottom. Gaara is now weaponless!
"No way past cool." Gaara then sees Seimei, Kankuro and Tayuya cornering him and Naruto, who got back from the stairs, at the stairs' top. "Not even way past cool."
"Give up, boy! We got you surrounded!" Seimei said evilly. It's true. With Sasuke running away, Gaara's weaponless and defenseless, and Naruto...well, I don’t know, the situation looks hopeless.
"Like I said, we're all doomed!" Kyuubi yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Now what? We got to do something or it's all over." Gaara whispered to Naruto hoping to find a way to save Hinata and Sakura. But how?
Naruto looks nervous then sees the same window he crashed through before behind the bad guys. Naruto rubs his temple with a left hand as he said, "My head must be hurting because I got me an idea!"
"In other words, you got a plan coming?"
"You sure you wanna hear it? You got to trust me on this."
"Way past!" Gaara said eagerly.
"Are you sure? Your life will be in big danger if we go through with this plan." Naruto said in a serious tone of voice.
Gaara didn't get the chance to finish as Naruto grabs him and charged at the villains laughing, "Two demonteers coming through!" Seimei, Kankuro and Tayuya moved aside thinking Naruto is going to charge at them making him miss. Unknown to them, that isn't what Naruto was planning on doing. Naruto and Gaara suddenly go right through the window and jumped out screaming.
"Uh...weird." Tayuya said confused. What is that all about?
The two ninjateers outside fell like Naruto the last time. And once again, the whole thing happened like last time. The two fell onto the old tree that send them flying at the cow's behind again. The cow, growling in annoyance, kicks Naruto and Gaara into the sky and right into the windmill. The thing spins around and sent the two heroes back into the tower.
Seimei, Kankuro and Tayuya weren't expecting what is about to happen until it was too late. Gaara and Naruto crashed into them sending them all out the window screaming. They kept falling until they crash into a river below safely. They are wet, but okay.
As Seimei, Kankuro and Tayuya swam back up to the surface, shocked at what happened, Kankuro said happily, "Wheeee!" Let's do that again!"
"Shut up!" Seimei snapped as he pushed Kankuro back into the water angrily. It's official. The kidnapping plot has failed thanks to the sudden luck of the misfit ninjateers.
To be continued...
Orochimaru was strolling out of the palace’s vicinity as he hummed a little tune. Ai and Misa were out on a bridge as they saw Orochimaru coming their way. The two yelped, and quickly hid behind a wall; Orochimaru not noticing them as he passed by. As Orochimaru skipped to a beat of his own and out of earshot, the two storytellers peek their heads out. “Oh, no…” Misa whispered. “When the bad guy is that happy…it always, always means…”
Misa and Ai then quickly pulled out their guitars and they both exclaimed, “BAD GUY SONG!!”
As Orochimaru slams open his office door happily while doing some ballet movies, he begins to sing.
Orochimaru: I was born to cheat and lie;
I’m a mean rotten guy.
When you ask me why I’m nasty,
Here’s my reason why…
The villain laughs as he points to a picture of his mother on his desk. It looks oddly like Orochimaru in a drag though.
At that stork delivery mommy screamed,
‘Woe is me, suck a dork!
Hey Mr. Stork, behold my misery,
Orochimaru’s nasty, Orochimaru’s a blob,
Orochimaru’s a nasty, naughty slob!’
Now Orochimaru got into a seat behind his desk and pushes a button. This causes the chair to be lowered right into an underground passageway which also leads to his secret lair.
Can it sister, I’m the mister
Who will get the job!
Once Orochimaru leaves his chair, it springs up returning to his office as if nothing has happen. Next, the villain got into a cart and rides it through a series of roller coaster like tracks.
So I’m nasty, I’m no good;
I’ll be king, knock on wood!
I’ll impress ya though I’m just a common-lowly hood. Ha!
If you can’t be loved, be feared.
Don’t get shoved, sheep get sheared.
Be the king, pull the strings
Or else you might get smeared!
I’m so happy I could dance.
Seize my chance, I’ll advance.
Come and cheer me, love and fear me,
Orochimaru’s king of Japan! Ha! Ha!
Once the ride is over, Orochimaru got out of it and goes into a rope bucket that lowers himself into his secret lair, the other end of the rope are tied to two buckets of bricks. Hinata is waiting for him at the moment.
"Evening, my trusty lieutenant." Orochimaru said evilly. "Oh, and watch out for the bricks, okay?"
"Wh-what bricks?" Hinata asked puzzled as Orochimaru got out of the bucket. It shoots upwards causing the two buckets of bricks to go flying downwards. The girl looks up as she sees what is coming, "Oh." A slam is heard but Orochimaru pays no attention as he got in his chair evilly as he sings some more.
Come and cheer me, love and fear me,
Orochimaru’s king of Japan…!
Orochimaru laughs expecting more of the music to be playing. To his surprise, it seems stops. "Hey, who killed the music?!" Orochimaru demanded in annoyance.
"We did, you he-she!" Ai and Misa's voices yelled from somewhere. "The song is over anyway!"
"Some people are critics." Orochimaru grumbled angrily. He stomps to the Pit where Seimei, Kankuro and Tayuya have went back into. In there, Kankuro is making a mock painting of the villain, Seimei is looking at a magazine with girls smiling like a love sick fiend, while Tayuya is playing a game of jacks. "Ahem. If I may have your attention," Orochimaru called to the three shinobi who turn and yelps in concern. Kankuro erased his picture, Seimei hides his magazine in his trench coat, while Tayuya hides her jacks.
"Hey boss." The three shinobi said sheepishly.
"If you guys aren't busy, how about go rounding up some princesses?" Orochimaru asked gently.
"Uh...I think so. Uh...what are we doing again?" Kankuro asked confused.
"Stop thinking and do it, okay! The opera's tomorrow night!" The villains heard more opera singing when they looked at the poster again. Orochimaru looks confused wondering where the singing is coming from. He shrugs as he continued, "Make sure the job is done by then, got it?"
"So what are we supposed to be doing, Orochimaru?" Tayuya asked.
"That's a stupid question. Just grab her, find some tower no one would think to save a princess from, and keep her locked up forever. You got any more questions?"
"Yeah. Does Sasuke know you raided his wardrobe?" Seimei asked smirking as well as Kankuro and Tayuya.
"You will find the answer to that next Saturday if you idiots messed this up!" Orochimaru snapped in annoyance. Seimei just scoffed. "Don't mess with me! You messed with the bull, you get the horns! NOW GET GOING!!"
"Yes sir." The three shinobi said as they salute quickly. They all run out of the room though Tayuya slams into a wall by accident. Seimei came back, picks Tayuya up, and takes her out of the room.
The three ninjateers are now working on their duty as the princess's protectors. Their task is to escort Jessica and Sakura through a meadow in the carriage. Naruto was steering the vehicle holding the reigns while reading a book, 'Ninjateering for Dummies'.
"Yep. This book makes ninjateering do very good. I don't know what can go wrong on our first day." Naruto said proudly. Gaara and Sasuke are riding on the back keeping an eye out for villains.
"Well, this ninjateer stop has been great, right Sasuke old pal?" Gaara asked Sasuke.
"No problem, though I have a bad feeling something is about to happen." Sasuke said concerned.
"Come on. What's the worst that can happen, huh?"
Inside the carriage, Jessica and Sakura were eating pizza. They are liking the ride so far, but the girl can tell Jessica is enjoying more than just the ride. "Isn't this great, Sakura? It is so romantic that we are being protected by three dashing ninjateers...and that red-haired boy is just so handsome." Jessica said romantically.
"Yeah, he's cute, I know." Sakura said bored. "But remember, those three are only ninjateers. As in commoners, non-college bound. It could mean only one thing."
Jessica paused then she asked, "Forbidden love?"
"Wow...how romantic. A forbidden love! I am so happy."
"Oh brother. Why do I even bother?" Sakura groaned as she goes back to eating. Unknown to everyone, there are three familiar figures lurking in the branch above smiling evilly. Seimei and his team get their weapons out, ready to strike. Well, okay, their presence is not unknown to everyone.
The three shinobi jump off the branch and landed on the carriage's head catching Gaara off guard making Gaara yelled, "Villains!"
Sasuke groans, "This is one time I HATE being right."
Naruto only hears what Sasuke said as he yelled, "Villains," His yelling scared the horses causing them to run like mad and dragging the carriage very VERY fast.
"Yikes!" Gaara yelled as he tried his best to hold on tightly. Sasuke groans as Kankuro smirked evilly at him. Sasuke screams like a girl as he dives into the carriage surprising the ladies, especially Sakura as Sasuke hides under her seat.
"Okay, villains!" Gaara snapped as he gets his katana out while confronting Seimei, "En guarde!"
"I hate French!" Seimei whined as he begins attacking Gaara. Seimei took out a pistol and fires rounds at Gaara. Seeing the on coming blast, Gaara quickly turned intangible in time to avoid the blast but unluckily he tripped over to the ground. Seimei smirks as he gets his sword out and disarms Gaara as he got back up.
"I mark you 'L' for loser!" Seimei sneered as he makes like Zorro and slashes at Naruto with his sword. Gaara's uniform fell apart putting him in Naruto's trademark self, a red haired boy with a blue headband, orange suit and orange pants.
"Wow! Wierd, but that was cool." Gaara said amazed.
As the carriage continues moving back, Jessica and Sakura begin pushing Sasuke out of the carriage and back into the fight, but the momma's boy is pushing against them. "You dork, get back out there and fight!" Sakura yelled in annoyance.
"Forget it! I don't wanna!" Sasuke whined like a momma's boy.
"You're a ninjateer, stupid. Do something!"
Back in the fight, Gaara got his musketeer uniform back on as he continues fighting Seimei. Tayuya jumped in the seat landing next to Naruto. "Hi there. Seen any bad guys around here?" Naruto asked Tayuya stupidly.
"Oh, I got a bad guy right here." Tayuya said madly as she gets out a camera. "Watch the birdie, hee hee hee hee." Naruto watches the camera stupidly. As Tayuya press a certain button, a boxing glove came out of the lens punching Naruto in the face and right out of the carriage.
"D'oh!" Naruto yelled grunting each time as he rolled down a hill hitting his head many times.
"Geez, and I thought Kankuro was stupid." Tayuya said in annoyance. Gaara was doing good against Seimei at first. Unfortunately, Seimei broke Gaara’s katana and punches his face very hard sending Gaara off the ride very fast.
"Adios, amigo!" Seimei said smirking evilly as Gaara is thrown off. Sasuke reluctantly climbed out of the carriage and got onto the top. To his surprise, he finds Seimei waiting for him. Seimei smirks evilly as he snarled at Sasuke's face making him yelled. Seimei clears his throat then said to Sasuke, "Boo!"
Sasuke screams as loud as he could. He gets a suitcase, packed himself into it, and throws himself off towards the direction his pals are send off to.
Naruto meanwhile kept rolling down the hill yelling "D'oh!" a few times until he landed in a mud pit. He got up with a groan but was knocked down by Gaara. Gaara got up and got hit in the face by the suitcase containing Sasuke.
Gaara was dazed for a bit groaning. Then he realized something as he yelled, "Princess Jessica!" Gaara runs out of the pit in hopes to get back to the carriage in time, but by the time he returned to the road, he sees the carriage disappearing with the girls still inside and the bad guys holding them captured.
"Oh man, no way past cool." Gaara groaned as he slides back into the pit causing mud to fall onto his face. "Any chance we can get the princess back, guys?"
"About a million to one." Shukaku stated.
"We're all doomed!" Kyuubi slapped his forehead.
"You're crazy! That is stupid!" Sasuke snapped frantically as he got out of the suitcase in defeat. "It's hopeless and we failed!"
"Hopeless? Failed?" Naruto asked worried. He then groans as he begins to cry.
"Calm down there, here." Sasuke said as he takes Naruto's cape and gives it to his friend. Naruto takes the cape and blows into it.
"Great. I'm dirty and covered in boogers."
Gaara looks at his friends and frowns. He exclaimed, "Hey, who said we are hopeless, huh?" Gaara wipes the mud off of himself as he continued, "Even though I doubt it, Orochimaru is counting on us."
"He is?" Naruto asked puzzled. Then he grins as he said, "Yeah! He is!"
"Don't forget, it's thanks to him that we're ninjateers."
"Yeah! We're ninjateers!" Sasuke said.
"We dream of it since we are kids, remember?" Naruto pointed out as he gets out of the pit. "Guys, how about it? Are we a team or what?"
"You kidding?!" Naruto laughed as he and Sasuke takes Gaara's hands allowing him to take them both out of the pit. "I is in!"
"So am I! No one gets the upper hand on this emo boy." Sasuke said eagerly.
"Come on! We got a princess to save!" Gaara yelled as he gets his katana (which is now fixed and good as new for no apparent reason) out ready for action. "No obstacle can stop us!"
"Yeah!" Naruto and Sasuke yelled, filled with confidence.
"No danger can get in our way!"
"You got it!" Naruto and Sasuke agreed getting their own katanas out getting excited.
"We will save Jessica or we will die trying!" Gaara laughed as he runs off with Naruto joining him. Of course, only one other friend did not join.
"Uh...die?" Sasuke asked looking scared. "I don't know about that..." Gaara and Naruto looks at their friend as they walk back. Naruto and Gaara needs to think of a way to get this momma's boy to help, but how?
"Well...there is Sakura, the lady in waiting, right?" Naruto pointed out with a smirk. "I mean...she will be impressed if you have a role in the rescue that has her in it, right?"
"Hmmm...die or not to die? That is the question." Sasuke said pondering. Naruto and Gaara smack their foreheads. Deciding not to wait, Naruto grabs the emo boy and drags him off as the three heroes head off to save the princess.
To be continued...
In the laundry room a bit after the accident with the hoist, Gaara was scrubbing the ninjateer uniforms sadly while Sasuke rolled them out and Naruto was ironing them. Gaara sighs and looks at his friends remembering the nasty words Orochimaru said to them before. In hopes to cheer his friends up, Gaara said with a smile, "Come on, guys." Gaara then puts his arms around Sasuke and Naruto as he continued, "There will be a wait to become ninjateer, I promised!"
"You sure about that?" Sasuke asked in doubt.
"Yep! We can all prove the captain wrong. All we got to do is work hard and stick together, right Naruto?"
"Geez, you think so?" Naruto asked Gaara hopefully.
"Come on. When's the last time I ever let you guys down, huh? Come on. Talk to me, am I right, huh?" Gaara asked as he gave Naruto a noogie making him laugh and so did Sasuke.
"Wrong question, kid. You know the answer isn't pretty!" Shukaku said as he rolled his eyes.
Gaara laughs for a while before he calms down enough to say, "I'm sure of it. So what if we don't become ninjateers tomorrow or the next day after. I bet ya Orochimaru will come to his senses one day, come to us, and say..."
"Good work, boys! You've made it!" a familiar voice said. Gaara, Sasuke and Naruto turned to the door confused as they see Orochimaru at the doorway smiling proudly. Holding his arms wide, Orochimaru said, "You've passed the test! After observing you boys closely, you've made it! You deserved to be ninjateers."
Inside the boys, the demon's jaws dropped to the ground.
"Wait, are you sure?" Gaara asked doubtfully. This happens all too quickly.
"Cross my heart!" Orochimaru said innocently crossing his heart.
"Wait, what about those mean things you'd called us before, especially to Gaara?" Sasuke asked the villain in doubt.
"All part of the test. Come on, what kind of captain would insult his new recruits on purpose, I mean honestly?"
"Oh. Well in that case...all right! We're going to be ninjateers!!"
"Really?!" Naruto asked eagerly. "Yahoo!"
Gaara shrugs and looks at the camera, "This sounds too good to be true. I know that this could be a trick since we all know that Orochimaru is the main antagonist of the show. But I will have to follow by the script so whatever."
Orochimaru gave the boys some ninjateers uniforms for them to wear and once they wore them, Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi become ninjateers (unofficially, unknown to them).
Each of them are now wearing purple uniforms with the royal ninjateers symbol on it, white capes, pruple pants, brown gloves, brown belts and black boots. Each of them also wields a katana by his side. Gaara is wearing his lucky ninjateer hat, Sasuke is wearing a blue ninjateer hat while Naruto is wearing a yellow ninjateer hat. As the three new ninjateers stood in the middle of the courtyard, the other ninjateers saluted them, welcoming them into their family of ninjateers.
"I knew we would do it guys! This day has finally come!" Gaara said eagerly.
"That's because we are clever." Naruto said happily.
"And brave!" Sasuke said eagerly.
"Altogether, we will become great heroes!" Gaara laughed taking out his katana out. "How about it guys? All for one..."
"And two for tea!" Naruto said as he takes his katana out and swings it. He pierce Sasuke's hat making him yelps as the boy hides under Gaara.
"Oh bother." Orochimaru groaned while rolling his eyes.
"Well, we can work on it later." Gaara assured nervously as he puts his arms around his friends.
In the throne room, Jessica and Sakura are briefly talking while waiting for Orochimaru to arrive with the new bodyguards the princess has ordered. Sakura asked Jessica, "You don't REALLY trust that guy, do you?"
Jessica answers back, "Definitely not. I'm nowhere near that dumb and I've known him for WAY too long. However, we DO have to stick to the script."
In the hallway outside, Orochimaru leads the three boys to the throne room itself. Sand is following the boys with a royal ninjateer flag flying from his tail.
"Hup, 2, 3, 4." Orochimaru ordered as the boys march in pace, "Hup, 2, 3, 4. Hup, 2, 3, 4. Hup, 2, 3, 4. Hup, 2, 3, 4. Company, halt!" The villain stops but the ninjateers kept going and bump into him making the villain yelp and glares angrily at the nervous three. Calming down though, Orochimaru said, "You three stay here while I go speak with her royal highness herself."
Orochimaru opens the door to the throne room and went in, leaving the three boys alone. Gaara turn to his friends proudly as he said, "All right, guys, this is the moment we have been waiting for. The moment these doors open up, we got to look good for the princess. We are on duty at all times so this place will be crawling with bad guys..."
"Bad guys?!" Sasuke yelped in alarm.
"So stay alert."
"You heard him, Naruto. Stay alert!"
"Aye aye sir!" Naruto said as he salutes. He turns around and comes face to face...with a knight's armor statue, "BAD GUY!" Naruto yelps as he sees the sharp axe in the armor's hand, "AHHHH! You ain't taking me alive!"
"So much for staying alert..." Kyuubi sighed. Shukaku snickered at his rival.
"Uzemaki!" Gaara yelped in alarm as Naruto attacks the fake knight. Gaara groans as a while later, the knight's armor statue fell to the floor like mad. So much for first impressions.
Naruto come out of the pile seeing his friends glaring at him in annoyance. He chuckles sheepishly as he held up an ax protesting, "He pulled an ax on me!"
In the throne room, Jessica and Sakura are listening, while Jessica is sitting in her throne, as Orochimaru was talking. "Trust me when I say, I have never ever have a more highly skilled group of gentlemen that I present to you today..." Orochimaru said in mock pride.
Jessica whispers to Sakura, "Orochimaru is making me fall asleep more than Jigglypuff."
"No, duh. I will get you a snack, okay?" Sakura said bored as she left to do so.
Orochimaru, not caring for Sakura's leave, continued on, "It was thanks to me that I saw their true potential."
"Yeah, well Land of Wind, Japan thanks you very much and whatever you use, blah, blah, blah." Jessica said bored wanting the three men to come in already.
"Without further ado...may I present for you’re safety and whatnot, your 'demonteers'!"
The doors soon open. Outside the throne room much to Orochimaru's annoyance and Jessica's surprise, Naruto and Sasuke are trying to fix the knight that Naruto had wrecked earlier. Jessica raised an eyebrow in amusement while the captain groans and signals the two to salute already. Naruto and Sasuke see the signal and salute causing them to drop the knight suit of armor which fell apart. Gaara is reveal to be behind it saluting as well.
The eyes on Jessica's face widened in surprise as her jaw dropped. What she is seeing is the most handsomest, as well as cutest, boy she has ever seen. Gaara drops his salute as he finds himself astounded by the beauty of the princess before him.
"Hubba, hubba, who is the hot chick?" Shukaku yelped with hearts in his eyes.
As Jessica smiles dreamily, she imagined a background of pink, purple, and white clouds as music is playing. The princess is running to Gaara slowly in her dream. Gaara is running to her as well. "Simple. I'd know." Jessica's words said from earlier that rang sweetly through the girl's head. "He will stride into the room," Jessica smiles lovingly as Gaara runs into the room gallantly with bright light glowing from the boy, "a light will glow from him, I will hear music," Flowers came from Gaara's left hand as he glided towards Jessica. "He will bring me flowers," The couple flew to each other as the flowers turn into purple butterflies. Gaara grins as he takes Jessica's hands resulting in the two looking lovingly into each other's eyes, "sweep me off my feet, and the best way I will know he is the one is when he makes me laugh."
"Princess," Jessica looks confused as Gaara is talking but in Sakura's voice. Gaara's head then turned into that of the lady in waiting's as she said, "Time to cut the cheese!"
The music stops quickly as Jessica was brought back to reality abruptly making her say, "What? Huh?"
"I said it's time to cut the cheese." Sakura said as she holds a plate of cheese. Then she asked while holding up a knife, "Now who wants cheddar?"
"KNIFE!" Naruto screamed horrified as he spies the knife gleaming by the sunlight through a window. A knife counts as a weapon! Sakura must be after the princess!
"Bad guy!" Sasuke screamed in alarm.
"Get her!" Gaara ordered as he, Sasuke and Naruto charged at the girl.
"Hoo boy." Sakura said in alarm not liking where this is going. The three ninjateers then tackled the girl down, attacking her.
Sakura screams while Jessica yelped. What are those three doing? She yelled, "Hey, stop it! Let her go! Are you crazy?! ENOUGH!" The three ninjateers stop what they are doing resulting in them holding Sakura upside down.
"Whoa, didn't see that coming!" Kyuubi and Shukaku said together.
Jessica sighs as she said, "Drop her." The ninjateers chuckled nervously as they dropped the girl looking very VERY sheepish. "That girl is my lady in waiting in case you haven't figured it out."
Sand groans as he slaps his forehead embarrassedly. Orochimaru snickered evilly in amusement, figuring this would be coming. Seeing Jessica glaring at him however, he stops as the villain said, "My bad. Please forgive them, princess. They're like a well-oiled machine that's just a little too tight, you know."
"We'd really sorry. We thought she was a bad guy." Gaara said sheepishly.
Jessica giggled. She figured that was the case here. She said, "It's okay, uh..."
"Subuku no Gaara, madam. These two are Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki." Sasuke and Gaara greet the princess in salute.
"Kyuubi no Kistune, at your service," Kyuubi said, bowing down. Shukaku was still gazing at Jessica. Kyuubi scowled, "Say something, dobe!"
"Something dobe." Shukaku said drooling.
"Sigh, His name is Shukaku Ichibi, believe it.." Kyuubi said, not believing that he just said his host's catchphrase.
Sasuke turns to Gaara who smiled at the princess saying, "Man, she is beautiful."
"Let me guess, you are in love with her?"
"Hate to be the bearer of bad news but, REALITY CHECK HERE. She's a princess and you're a jantior and..." Sasuke said explaining things a bit harshly.
"You mean ninjateers." Gaara corrected Sasuke.
"Whatever, you're nothing but a peasant, she'd never go for that." Sasuke scoffed as he remarked, "Still, there's about much chance of that happening as her lady in waiting falling in love with me. And another thing..." He stops in mid-sentence after he sees Sakura who dusting herself off after what happened. The boy smiled lovingly at her saying, "Man she is so hot." Sakura straightened herself some more looking annoyed. She sees Sasuke going to her tipping his hat to the girl saying, "Hey there. Did we mentioned we didn't know who you were at the time when we...heh heh…you are hot, you know that?"
"What a dork." Sakura stated as she rolls her eyes in annoyance.
"Well, I feel safer already." Jessica said smiling happily. She knew she would be protected with these boys around.
Or so she thought.
On a stairway on their way to their boss in the secret lair, Seimei, Kankuro and Tayuya looked very VERY worry because they mess up big time. "This is not good, no." Tayuya groaned worried. "Who is going to tell the boss the bad news?"
"I am not telling him!" Seimei coughed as he points to Kankuro, "He messed up the job. He tells him."
"What?! No way! Why does Jessica always torment me in her Naruto parodies?!" Kankuro protested in concern, "She is more worse than Gaara!"
"Uh...I got an idea!" Seimei said once they reach the door at the bottom. "Tayuya, you tell him."
"Tell him what?" Tayuya asked fearing the worst.
"That we mess the job up!"
Tayuya groans in concern. Tayuya then said, "He won't like it, no way." Tayuya opened the door quietly and sneak into the room. She looked concerned as she sees her boss in his chair glaring at her. That someone is...
"Okay, I think they all know since this story was probably parodied before." Orochimaru said looking bored at the camera. You got it, folks. He is Seimei, Tayuya and Kankuro's boss.
"Hello, Orochimaru sir." Tayuya told Orochimaru nervously.
Orochimaru sighs as he got up from his seat and goes to the nervous Tayuya saying, "I have seen this before. When one out of three minions comes in, it is always bad news." The villain closes the door, which is the only one in the room, making Tayuya nervous even more. "Am I right, Tayuya?" As Orochimaru stomps around Tayuya, Seimei and Kankuro are outside the room listening in with their ears against the closed door.
"Geez, you can barely hear anything in there." Seimei said in annoyance. "Nothing but step, clomp, step, clomp..." The two boys' curiosity got the best of them as they peeked into the keyhole. They yelped as they see an angry eye peeking out at them: the eye of their boss! Suddenly Orochimaru's arm reached out from the keyhole and grabs the two brothers. In a cartoon fashion, Orochimaru pulls the two through the keyhole forcing Seimei and Kankuro into the room and dropping them next to Tayuya.
Seimei and Kankuro chuckles nervously then point at Tayuya saying, "She got something to tell ya, boss!"
"Well, speak! Don't keep me waiting!" Orochimaru snapped as he crossed his arms in annoyance.
"Well, hee hee hee. Remember that job you told us to do?" Tayuya asked nervously. "Well, we did. We dropped a safe on the princess!"
"Wait, you dropped a safe on her? As in try to kill her?" Orochimaru asked seemingly calmed.
Orochimaru chuckles then he laughs loudly. Seimei, Kankuro and Tayuya, thinking he is proud of them, laughs along madly. Unfortunately, their laughter ended as the villain yelled loud enough to send them crashing into the wall, "YOU IDIOTS!! I didn't say 'drop a safe on her'. I said to KEEP her safe!! Seriously, why would I want you three to killed the one thing necessary to make my take over a big success?!"
"Hey, take it easy. Kankuro missed anyway." Seimei replied in concern.
"Don't blame me! Seimei told me and Tayyuya that you wanted to drop a safe on the princess!" Kankuro protested pointing at Seimei.
"Duh, I could have sworn he said it. He said something about a safe. Uh..." Seimei said stupidly trying to think.
"Why I ever hired you idiots is beyond me." Orochimaru said smacking his own forehead in disbelief. "Now listen carefully. I got a plan which doesn't involve killing the princess. She must be kidnapped to make it work."
"Why? Couldn't you do it, Orochimaru?" Tayuya asked puzzled.
"And reveal myself too soon and let those royal musketeers stop me?! No! This plan involves the opera which is tomorrow night." Orochimaru points to a poster that is about an opera that has three singing pirates in it. For some reason, opera singing can be heard when they stared at the poster. "Princess Jessica must be gone by then or I cannot be king!"
"Oh." Seimei and Tayuya said in understanding.
"Duh, I don't get it." Kankuro said puzzled.
Orochimaru smacked his forehead again. Angrily, he called out, "Lieutenant Hinata Hyuuga!"
A woman came out quickly and salutes. She had purple hair, white eyes, black suit, purple jacket, black pants, and black shoes. Her name is Hinata Hyuuga, Orochimaru’s assistant.(A/N:Hinata was forced to be his assistant. This works out in the end)
"Lieutenant Hyuuga reporting for duty!" Hinata announced like a military girl. "What is it you asked, Orochimaru?"
"Dump these idiotic minions into the Pit, Hinata!" Orochimaru ordered.
"Yes, sir." Hinata then goes over to an unlit torch. Seimei, Kankuro and Tayuya look horrified as they know what it is.
"Hinata, don't!" Seimei yelped horrified.
"Please! Not that!" Tayuya said scared.
"Duh, happy birthday!" Kankuro said happily.
"Sorry, guys, but it's part of the script." Hinata said as she pulls the torch like a lever. Suddenly a trapdoor opens underneath Seimei and his crew They scream as they fell into the Pit.
"No! The horror, the horror!" Seimei screamed as he fell.
A pause, then Tayuya peeked out of the Pit. The whole thing is actually five feet into the ground. Tayuya then said stupidly, "Wow. That was a short trip."
Just then the telephone nearby rang. Hinata answers it and said sweetly, "Konichiwa. Orochimaru's Secret Lair. There's No Place Like Evil. Hinata Hyuuga here," Hinata listens carefully. "Oh. Hey, Orochimaru, it's Princess Jessica." Anko pushed a button nearby causing a silhouette of the princess with a crown on her head to appear and an alarm to go off. This made Orochimaru very concerned.
Jessica and Sakura waited angrily as they waited outside the palace, expecting Orochimaru to show up or else. As they do, the royal ninjateers are marching as they sing their theme song.
Ninjateers: All for one, hey!
All for one and one for all!
All for one and one for all!
Orochimaru then shows up finally. He chuckled as he bowed graciously as he said, "Ah, Princess Jessica. I am so glad you grace me with your royal omnipresence."
"Well, you took your time coming up here." Sakura said in annoyance.
"Anyway, do what I owe the privilege of you calling me up here?"
"I want bodyguards and now!" Jessica demanded upset.
"Errr...what?" Orochimaru asked alarmed.
"You know, ninjateer bodyguards!" Jessica replied angrily. She then points to the royal ninjateers as they sing a new military song.
Villains, bad guys run in fear,
When they see the ninjateers!
Saving Jessica is our duty.
Mess with them we’ll kick your…
A Ninjateer named Konohamaru jumps into the air and slashes a practice dummy with a sword.
Orochimaru yelps in concern. He doesn't like what Jessica is ordering him to do, at all. "But, Princess... the ninjateers are too busy protecting the castle and keeping peace in the whole kingdom. Besides, nothing major had happened..." Orochimaru is interrupted by Sakura.
"Orochimaru, does Jessica looks like a Looney Tune to you?" Sakura asked Orochimaru.
"Uh... no." Orochimaru replies, puzzled.
"A Tiny Toon, or Woody Woodpecker, Tom Cat or Roger Rabbit," Sakura continues, keeping a dead-serious face.
"No to all of those."
"Good. Then...ANY TIME SOMEONE DROPS A SAFE ON HER, ITS SOMETHING MAJOR!" Sakura snaps at Orochimaru, the large man falling on his butt due surprise and fear; Sakura could be quite scary when angry.
"Well, don't sit there like a lazy creep. Get me bodyguards!" Jessica snapped while snapping her fingers impatiently.
"Why sure, no problem." Orochimaru said getting up in mock joy. "Let's check my schedule..." The villain gets a calendar out of his pocket and checks the current week in there. On Tuesday, it reads 'kidnap the princess'. Wednesday, 'become king'. Thursday: 'Bingo'. It looks like Orochimaru's schedule is filled up. "How about next Thursday of next week?" Orochimaru asked as he puts his calendar away hopefully.
"Let me put it this way: either get me my ninjateer bodyguards in 10 minutes or you will be looking for a new job!" Jessica snapped angrily. Orochimaru growls in concern. He knew he will have no choice but to give in to the princess's demands. He knows that the ninjateers are the best in Land of Wind, Japan and will ruin everything. He got to find a way to ensure the fact that he will give Jessica what she wants and the bodyguards won't ruin his plan. But where can he find the right guys for the job?
Just then, Orochimaru spots something nearby. It's our favorite three janitors on a roped stand cleaning windows. Naruto is singing sadly while doing so.
Naruto: Pancakes, Miso Ramen, scrambled eggs
"You are a lousy singer, kid..." Kyuubi said in annoyance.
Naruto pulled on the rope to make the lift go higher.
Buttered toast and apple jam.
Tonight it’s meat I hope it’s Spam…
"Naruto, watch out!" Gaara yelled in alarm because of the fact that he and Sasuke are having trouble keeping up thanks to Naruto pulling on the rope too hard. As Orochimaru watch, the stand lost it balance. The result? The three janitors scream in terror while falling to the ground making, "YAAAAH-HOO-HOOO-HOO-HOOEY!!" like a certain Disney character we know.
Orochimaru smirks evilly getting an idea. Turning his focus to the waiting Jessica, the villain said slyly, "Good news, princess. I got the right men for you."
"For your sake, it better be the case." Jessica snapped as she and Sakura headed back into the palace. "Thanks to you, the whole thing became more incompetent than usual!"
Orochimaru narrows his eyes as he mumbled angrily, "You want incompetent? I'll show you incompetent..." The villain uses his fingers to pretend he is choking Jessica by the neck. Of course Jessica turned and glares at the villain making Orochimaru dropped what he is doing, chuckling nervously.
To be continued...
As our heroes lick their wounds (so to speak), in the throne room, a girl is sitting in her throne smiling happily with a spaced-out look while plucking petals off a flower she is holding. This girl is a 13 year old girl with long purple hair, blue eyes and wears almost the exact outfit as Gaara, minus the gourd. She was known as Princess Jessica, the ruler of Land of Wind, Japan.
"He loves me." Jessica whispered lovingly as she kept plucking a flower's petal off each time. "He loves me a lot! He loves me. He loves me even more! He loves me..." Jessica plucked the flowers causing the petals to fly off landing on a head of her lady in waiting. She wore a red sleeveless zipper shirt, a white skirt, black shorts and black shoes. She also has short pink hair and wears a red headband. Her name is Sakura Haruno.
"Hey excuse me?" Sakura asked, annoyed with what Jessica is doing. Jessica is doing the plucking for a while. The lady in waiting brush the petals off her head as she continues, "You are mangling that flower again. Let me guess, there's someone out there for ya, a lucky guy?"
"Yep. My true love." Jessica said sighing happily. "I will find him someday. He's out there, Sakura. I know he is."
"Right...if he of royalty by any chance?"
"Oh bother. Why would that matter? You aren't dressed to be a lady of waiting."
Sakura rolls her eyes. Again with the comment. She pointed out, "1, I don't like to wear fancy dos. It doesn't go well with me. And 2, someone like you must be courted by gentlemen of royal blood, you know that."
"That stuff gives me a royal headache." Jessica groaned in annoyance, getting up from her throne and leaving the room going into the hallway. Sakura follows her trying to talk reason into the princess.
"I know you don't want to be forced into doing stuff like this but one of these days, you got to pick someone to rule by your side!"
"Not if it's anyone I am not in love with!"
"Right. You want love? Go buy a blue haired ninja boy. Oh wait, that will make things worst, would it?" Sakura asked sarcastically. She sighs in annoyance. "Stuff like that can be ugly. The right guy isn't just going to walk through the door. And even so, how would you know if he is the one?"
"Simple, I'd know. He will stride into the room, a light will glow from him," Jessica said dreamily as she describes what she thinks will happen, "I will hear music," As Jessica continued, she takes Sakura by the hand and dance around with her making the latter looks embarrassed, "He will bring me flowers, sweep me off my feet, and the best way I will know he is the one is when he makes me laugh." The dance came to a stop very soon. Sakura chuckled a bit at the idea. To her, it sounded kinda ridiculous and crazy.
"Forgive me for saying this but I think that sounded..." Sakura begins to say. But soon she stops as she noticed Jessica's face, a face of dreams for love. Sakura sighs then, not wanting to ruin the princess's hopes, she said, "...just lovely."
"Thank you. Trust me, like I said before I will know him when I see him." Jessica cooed as she puts her flower in a vase nearby. The girl leaves the palace to take a walk into the garden. The flower loses one more petal. Upon landing, it seems like the petal is resembling a certain red-haired boy...
As Jessica walks outside, stepping down from a small staircase, she sees Ai and Misa sitting on the rails. Misa is playing a harp while Ai is playing a violin. "Hello. Good music. And what are you doing here, Misa?" Jessica said happily as she headed to out to begin her walk.
"Ahhh...young love." Misa said smiling at the look on Jessica's face. "I remember that well, right Ai?"
"You got it." Ai said kissing her friend on the cheek making her blush. "I think a romantic princess like her deserves a romantic song." Misa smiles as she and Ai get the harp and the violin ready to be played. Before the song begun, Misa suddenly grabbed Kyuubi by the neck and kissed his lips. Kyuubi went to the bathroom to wash his mouth.
The two gals plays a slow and sweet song for Jessica as they sing while Ai begins to sing first.
Ai: Just around the corner seeking you,
Puppy love is tripping lightly into view…
Misa: Hiding in the hedgerows,
Sneaking up on tiptoes…
Ai: Love’s first kiss is blissfully,
About to capture you…
As they sing, Jessica smiles as she wonders through the garden happily. She sees the gardener, Ino Yamanaka, who waves hello to the princess. Jessica greets her as she goes on.
Misa: Just around the corner waiting close,
Love is creeping nearer than you might suppose…
Ai: So sit still and wait now,
Let love choose your fate now…
Misa: Take a pause don’t run because,
It’s right behind you,
Let love find you…
As Jessica goes under a hollow, heart shaped hedge, the couple singing the song sang together happily.
Both: Young love!!
It’s love, love, love, love, love…
Love so lovely…
Jessica took time to peek around a bush and grins as she sees Ino going to a cottage where her husband, Chouji Akamichi, was waiting for her. She smiled happy to see a couple in love. Unknown to the princess though, three bandits are following her planning to strike.
What can you say to love,
Jessica shakes her head happily as she goes back to the palace still unaware of the following three figures. Only Misa and Ai saw the bandits and although they couldn't interfere, they sing out hints in hope that Jessica could at least hear them.
Ai: Maybe on the rooftops climbing high,
Somewhere just above love is hovering by,
Love is in a rush to,
Misa: Smear you, SMASH you, smush you,
Love will CRUSH you into mush,
Both: When you’re the bull’s-eye you get hit by,
Your first, your only love…
Jessica returns to the palace and sat down on the stoop. The bandits that were following her looked over them on the roof. They are three nasty looking ninjas.
The first ninja is a boy with white hair, white robe and weapons on his back. His name is Seimei.
The second ninja is a boy who wears a black shirt, black pants, a black hood and has purple tattoo markings on his face. His name is Kankuro, also known as Gaara’s brother.
The third ninja is a girl with pink hair, a sound village headband and a flute in her hand. Her name is Tayuya. The three shinobi looked at the princess from where they're at smirking evilly.
"Hey Jessica? Your grace," Sakura called from inside the palace calling the princess for something. The princess smiles as she is about to go into the palace.
Love so lovely
How can you stand it so…
Without warning, a safe crashed right into the ground hard. In fact, it was next to the same spot Jessica was at! "Jessica!" Sakura yelled as she runs out worried. "Princess, are you okay? Geez, someone almost crush you with a safe! What kind of psycho would do just a thing?!"
On the roof, an annoyed Seimei hit Kankuro in the face making Kankuro yelped, "Ouch!"
Seimei makes the comment, "You idiot! You dropped the safe BEFORE we even knew if the boss actually wanted us to drop it. On top of THAT, you missed."
Sakura and Jessica heard some noises making them look up. Of course the three shinobi disappear in the nick of time. Jessica turns her attention back to the safe. That thing almost killed her! That is insane. She can't be safe if something tried to drop a safe on her. She knew what must be done.
To be continued...