I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

OK, for really reals, we're watching The Stepford Wives tonight, so grab the movie if you do not have it already. This means you!

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968): In my experience, people have one of three reactions to this movie: 1) They intensely love it (which is where I fall); 2) they intensely hate it; or 3) "HUH?????????" Personally, I love it because Kubrick takes full advantage of his medium. He works with and tells his story through sound and vision. When characters speak, they have almost nothing interesting to say, save maybe HAL 9000. Kubrick doesn't rely on exposition to tell the story, except where absolutely necessary. It's all through (beautiful) visuals and (amazing) music. How often does a movie trust its audience to be intelligent enough to really work and decipher what it's trying to say? I honestly think 2001 respects its audience more than just about any other movie ever created.

Patlabor: The Movie (1989): Actually a surprisingly good thriller. Those of you who dig Ghost in the Shell (either the movie or the TV anime) would probably enjoy this. (Though it would probably be good to watch the 7 episode OVA beforehand.) The conspiracy theory plot gets a bit confusing sometimes, but not much more than most thrillers. The animation is pretty awesome, though, particularly during the climax, which is as thrilling a sequence as I've seen in any anime movie.

Patlabor 2: The Movie (1993): I'm not sure if I like this more or less than the first movie, especially since it is so steeped in Japanese politics. (Reading about the political background that inspired the movie is pretty interesting, though, if you're into that sort of thing.) It's also much more serious than even the first movie. (The OVA is a mix of seriousness and comedy, while the first movie has some comedic bits but is mostly serious.) The thriller plot is fairly grounded, though, and the political intrigue is legitimately interesting. I'd also bet that Hideo Kojima is a big fan of this movie, because I can see a lot of Metal Gear Solid in it.

Best Worst Movie (2009): Fun documentary about the story behind Troll 2 (which is not the worst movie ever made, but definitely a great bad movie). It offers some decent insight into why movies like Troll 2 are so beloved despite being so fundamentally awful.

On the queue for this week: The Stepford Wives (1975), The Beyond (1981), other stuff

Total Movies: 187 (The Taking of Pelham 123, The Station Agent, The Final Destination, Silent Movie, The African Queen, Departures, Moon, Bound, Solaris, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rifftrax), Wristcutters: A Love Story, In the Loop, Public Enemies, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (Rifftrax), Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann: Lagann-Hen, District 9, The Magnificent Seven, Night Moves, My Name is Bruce, Big Fan, Almost Famous, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, Nosferatu, Drag Me to Hell, The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, Kara no Kyoukai 1-7, 9, Zombieland, Ninja Scroll, Primer, Re-Animator, Summer Wars, The Changeling, The Men Who Stare at Goats, Ponyo, Eden of the East: The King of Eden, Porco Rosso, Something Something Something Dark Side, Castle in the Sky, Robot Carnival, Halloweentown, Whisper of the Heart, The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, Fiddler on the Roof, Kiki's Delivery Service, Genius Party, Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters, The Sky Crawlers, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, My Neighbors the Yamadas, THX 1138, The Stepfather, Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs. The New York Knicks, Tremors, Horror of Dracula, The Brood, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, Rabid, Inglourious Basterds, Them!, The Yakuza, Alphaville, Ghost in the Shell, Priceless, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, Evangelion 2.0: You Can (Not) Advance, Whip It, A Boy and His Dog, Fletch, The Blind Side, Speed, June 17, 1994, Nobel Son, Invictus, Toy Story 3, The Two Escobars, Soylent Green, Up in the Air, Tyson, This Is Spinal Tap, The Proposition, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, The Informant!, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, Macross: Do You Remember Love?, Coco Before Chanel, The Vanishing, Inception, Mind Game, Pale Rider, The Hurt Locker, Roujin Z, Broken Blade, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Black Christmas, Crazy Heart, The Man with Two Brains, Ninja Assassin, Panic Room, Mobile Suit Gundam I-III, Casablanca, Stray Dog, Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva, Memories, The Gold Rush, Paprika, Martian Successor Nadesico: The Motion Picture - Prince of Darkness, An Education, Eden of the East: Paradise Lost, Dr. Strangelove, Doomsday, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Natural, Bungaku Shoujo, The Book of Eli, To Kill a Mockingbird, Aim for the Ace!, Animal House, The Princess and the Frog, Char's Counterattack, Date Night, Cool Hand Luke, Kiss Me Deadly, An American Werewolf in London, Teen Wolf, Logan's Run, The Naked City, Dirty Harry, Swingers, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rifftrax), Harper, Chinatown, Hoosiers, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, Inherit the Wind, Airplane!, Emperor of the North, The Happening, Santa's Slay, Candyman, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Mega Piranha, Phantasm, Goldfinger, The Thing, Black Sunday, The Devil's Backbone, Blood and Black Lace, The Hustler, Zombie, Macross Frontier The Movie: The False Songstress, Young Frankenstein, The Serpent and the Rainbow, Army of Darkness, Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Radioland Murders, The Lost Skeleton Returns Again, Sunset Boulevard, South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, How to Train Your Dragon, Sunshine, The Pink Panther Strikes Again, The Andromeda Strain, The Game, The Shining, Singin' in the Rain, Iron Man 2, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Major League, Undefeatable, Troll 2, Harry Brown, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Patlabor: The Movie, Patlabor 2: The Movie, Best Worst Movie)