Mystery Naruto Theatre 3000: Chapter 409

Our chapter opens with the titular non-main character leaving Konoha. He turns to Shikamaru and wishes him good luck on solving Jiraya's code...

Which was already deciphered last time I checked. Read what you write, Kishi! Holy crap.

Anyway, Shikamaru and Tsunade the Fanservice Hokage tell him not to worry because they'll let him know how the autopsy turns out. Apparently, this will be done by use of a "communication frog." I bet the only thing those frogs don't use frogs for is food. Sakurangst wishes Naruto good luck and the orange-clad moron departs in a cloud of dust because the toad he formed a pact with back during the Chuunin exams summons him. Dude, you're getting owned by your own weapons. That's sad.

After that, there's a small, totally pointless cutaway to Pains and then it's back to Naruto, who is for some reason surprised that he landed in the middle of a frog-infested forest. He then stops by Ma toad's place, where he is fed insects and lilypads because apparently the frogs learned absolutely nothing from Jiraya's time with them.

Naruto is then summoned to begin his training, but is first explained the difference between ninja and sage techniques, which is apparently ripped straight from Bleach's Shinigami techniques and Quincy ones. Sage techniques steal energy from the surrounding atmosphere. And the surrounding weekly releases in Shonen Jump, apparently. Of course, a food analogy makes it all click for our little ADD hero, and after a quick demonstration featuring Pa lifting a statue, the training begins.

No, wait. it seems Naruto must first become "one with nature." How does he accomplish this? By dying, of course.

Why is this all sounding too uncomfortably familiar?

Meanwhile, back on the ranch, Saucekay Uchihax encounters a wild 8 Tails, who is quite the saucy, arrogant young bard. What will Sasuke do? You'll have to find out next chapter. Because we all know we want more Sasuke.

End