Logic is foregone. Copyright infringement runs rampant. People have lost the ability to operate the part of the brain that thinks. Awful plot twists and cookie-cutter angst robot main characters run free. Welcome...

To Naruto, the wildly popular (and highly overrated) Jump series about a boy and his ADD, a girl and her utter uselessness, and a boy and his nonsensical angst-driven decisions. Every week, I shall tell you what Masashi Kishimoto did wrong. And trust me, the list gets longer each week. Naturally, there will be spoilers. I'm not going to warn you about those, though. I'm going to warn you that the contents of each chapter are horrifying and strange. So why do I lampoon them and tear them to shreds each week? It's a community service, I think. Anyway, let the terror begin.

Mystery Naruto Theatre 3000: Chapter 410

The chapter starts with Sasuke going over battle tactics with Team Hawk. He tells Karin to watch his back. Seriously, dude? Now it's as if you want to get she-raped. Anyway, after that there's a decent-looking color spread of a bunch of dead guys ...

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Mystery Naruto Theatre 3000: Chapter 409

Our chapter opens with the titular non-main character leaving Konoha. He turns to Shikamaru and wishes him good luck on solving Jiraya's code... Which was already deciphered last time I checked. Read what you write, Kishi! Holy crap. ...

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