"Obviously, I do not mean that when I choose between a cream pastry and a chocolate éclair, I am choosing in anguish." Jean-Paul Sartre
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Phenomenally Bored: The Role and Contents of Moods in Ergo Proxy
There are times when the total subjective experiences of our lives are sharply focused, especially when they are under the influence of a plenary mood. Consider for a moment what it's like to be in a jovial mood. It's like some benevolent force has decided to play favorites, and you are now the chosen one. The sun shines for you and the birds sing for you. The coffee you are drinking tastes as if the beans were grown on the finest mountainside. Indeed, those very coffee beans seem to have been ground by the mountain's sage themselves. The taste of some specific cookies you are eating brings back old-world memories, even if you happen to be a teenager. You may also notice the unusually appealing blueness of the sky. The mood may even have subtle effects of a different kind, other than influencing how you sense things. You may be presented with an epiphany of sorts, large or small or anywhere in between: "I never realized I'm that generous and talkative when I'm quite happy" or "Being in this mood these past few days has revealed to me subtler layers of social interactions in specific contexts." You might also realize, however, that you cannot brighten and lighten the mood of a certain friend who is in a bad mood. What does this person experience? Well, to her that coffee may seem old and burned, even if it was brewed just ten minutes ago. Those cookies may taste either too sweet or too bland; furthermore, they seem hard. Those birds make too much noise; they are irritating. The sun is too bright and hot; it just burns the concrete and sky. The world does not care for you or anyone--neither do I. Even this person, nevertheless, when focusing on her experiences, is capable of seeing something new: "Until now, I never noticed how much my friend tries to help me when I'm in one of my bad moods" or "This 'lived experience' is exactly what I need to communicate in my writings on Angst." With moods, there is always something distinct about whichever one has grasped us, filled us. It spills over all of our experiences; either they are lightened (e.g. good moods) or burdened (e.g. bad moods). And how these moods affect our experiences is worth considering in detail. As a particularly noteworthy example, we find an appropriate study in the anime referred to in the title.
I propose that being in certain states of mind can reveal or highlight details of our experiences, thus allowing us to reconsider and learn from those states that take hold of us. These states of mind have the ability to shift our attention to both the total experiences and the elements of those experiences, thus allowing us to see how each dynamically interacts with the other. Furthermore, by concentrating on whatever is immediately before us while we are in that state, we can classify or re-sort those particular elements within that experience. Think of it as a kind of reordering of priorities to match the present situation. The total experience itself then takes on a different "feel" after such recategorizations. However, this reordering does not always result in an agreeable state of things. Furthermore, it might even occur without our complete, conscious awareness or assent. It just happens. The difficult task to manage when we are in this condition is to think, act, and react in such a way that, despite the circumstances, we can still gain an insight regarding our conditions. We shall explore such an example of this in the following essay, centered on a specific episode and character. In episode 16, "Busy Doing Nothing (Dead Calm)", of the anime Ergo Proxy, we are presented with a fitting situation to closely explore: the phenomenal character of being bored, and how it affects a certain individual. We will also be examining what we take to be important facets of Re-l's environment and character. By doing so, we will grasp the vast scope of what is involved in a given mood. In the situation we will presently study, we will often ponder a question that shall greatly assist us in our aims: what is it like to be in a certain mood, viz. to be bored? By asking this question and studying it, we hope reveal some of the features involved in being in a given mood, and what this could mean to us.
The anime Ergo Proxy, whose setting is located on an environmentally devastated Earth in a very distant future from now, deals with the physical, intellectual, and emotional journey of the character Vincent Law. He is a man with no memory of his past, or so it seems to him. After certain events occur within the domed city of Romdo, Vincent comes to question exactly who and what he is. Does he really want to be a "fellow citizen" of Romdo, or is he really meant to be something else? Finding herself mysteriously involved in Vincent's life is Re-l Mayer, a member of Romdo's Intelligence Bureau and the granddaughter of Romdo's Regent Donov Mayer. Another character finding herself connected to Vincent's unfolding fate is the childlike AutoReiv Pino. (AutoReivs are robotic beings designed to serve various needs of humans.) After certain crucial events are set in motion within Romdo--Re-l being confronted by an entity known as a Proxy (ep.01); Pino getting infected with the cogito virus, endowing her with sentience (ep.02); and Vincent himself encountering a Proxy, a fateful meeting which eventually forces him to take drastic actions. (ep.02)--the three eventually find themselves together, after approximately a dozen episodes, on a journey to Vincent's professed birthplace Mosk. It's in this domed city where Vincent hopes to find answers to his missing past and to reawaken his memories.
The distance, however, between Romdo and Mosk is fairly great. Consequently, their chosen means of travel determines the length of time it takes to reach Mosk. In this case, it takes roughly over a month to reach it with their craft. They travel aboard a sailboat-type craft called the Centzon Totochtin, "The Four Hundred Rabbits." Wind provides the craft with its propulsion like a regular sailboat, except that the Rabbit can travel over sea and land. It's kept aloft by an energy beam emitted from its belly to the surface of the earth, thus allowing it to hover. It can also carry a small supply of food and water sufficient for the appropriate number of crew. As can be expected, too many passengers on such a long journey is not an ideal situation for anyone aboard the Rabbit. The original passengers on the craft consisted of Vincent, Pino, and several settlers who lived outside Romdo in the harsh climate. One by one the settlers succumb to various events, leaving only Vincent and Pino as the remaining crew. Meanwhile, events in Romdo unfold such that Re-l and her own AutoReiv Iggy are compelled to leave the city. With their own craft they set out after Vincent. After a pivotal event in episode 13, Re-l is eventually separated from her own craft and Iggy. She now finds herself aboard the Rabbit along with Vincent and Pino. Thus, they all find themselves aboard the Rabbit, as a crew of three. United by Vincent's hazy past, represented by the fragmented memories which now haunt him, their uncertain journey and fates unfold on the long pilgrimage to Mosk.
It's in episode 16 that we find that their journey has been temporarily put on hold, leaving them entirely at the mercy of the weather. As noted earlier, the Rabbit is a wind powered craft, i.e. it moves by being pushed by the wind. Unfortunately for the crew, the wind has now stopped blowing, so they have no choice but to wait until it picks up once more. Stocked with limited supplies, they are forced to ration their food, water, and power (Only Re-l and Vincent eat, since Pino is a robot. However, as a robot she does need to be charged). The opening scenes start with outside shots of the craft. Its sails are hanging lifelessly in the absence of wind. We also see that the landscape is barren: there is no visible wildlife or vegetation, and the sky is blackened by dense layers of clouds, allowing very little sunlight to shine through. With most of the Earth's water frozen, the weather has all the conditions of being in perpetual winter. Furthermore, it's been like this for hundreds of years. All of this had been caused by a massive environmental disaster which occurred approximately one-thousand years before the present setting. This disaster affected the entire planet, forcing humanity to seek alternative means for survival. The surface is barely habitable, thus forcing the humans we see now to live in domed cities such as Romdo and Mosk. These domes allow the cities to sustain an artificial environment sufficient for life. Faced with such an hostile environment and dire circumstances, the three do their best to cope with the unwelcome yet unavoidable situation: life outside of Romdo's protective dome. It's here in this episode that we vicariously experience the situation from Re-l's point of view--how she sees things.
The episode in question centers on Re-l Mayer's subjective experiences--viz. how things appear to her. As an effective method for communicating such experiences, the episode includes her inner dialogue, presenting her thoughts on how things are or how they seem to her. Toward the beginning of the episode, we begin to apprehend Re-l's immediate character under the aspect of boredom. As her boredom begins to set in and alter her conscious states, we see the early state of her mind. To fully comprehend what follows from this, we must consider Re-l's personality so that we may see how outside influences interact with her thoughts and feelings, and how her inner character changes under these influences.
For our present purposes we can classify Re-l as the analytical-type, meaning that she often thinks very carefully about what this or that means. Often circumspect, she is quick to look for evidence of patterns and correlations in whatever facts are at hand. She is meticulous in her planning, carrying it at times when needed to a highly systematic level. Of course, all of this can be expected of her, considering that she is a member of Romdo's Intelligence Bureau. Nonetheless, it's her personality itself which often displays the effects of being highly studious in her actions and thoughts, making her somewhat detached from Romdo. She can appear to be emotionally "cold", thus distancing herself from most people. (In the early episodes, we rarely see her with anyone for long periods of time, other than her AutoReiv Iggy.) It would not be entirely unfair to say that she is usually stern and indifferent. Consider this her default position. As her own AutoReiv opines in one unsettling episode (ep.13), Re-l is somewhat of a "career woman", which clearly suggests that she cares only for the betterment of her career and self. We must state, however, that Re-l is not exactly the completely selfish individual she seems to be. She has an ambiguous relationship with her grandfather Donov Mayer, Romdo's Regent. Their meetings, always taking place in a cavernous and darkly lit room, are like intelligence debriefings, never expressing kinship. Though she never expresses her personal feelings aloud to him, she does care very much for him. Even Iggy, though being a robot, figures prominently in her life. His vocal patterns were customized by Re-l, thus subtly expressing her consideration for Iggy. Nevertheless, she tends to keep certain emotions in check, while letting others--the analytical ones--have priority in her life. (We will mention below how she was, in a sense, "a product of" Romdo's society, governed by rules and criteria.) With this predisposition guiding her actions and thoughts, we now have a fairly good understanding of her general character. In fact, we will venture further by exploring what may have gone into constituting this predisposition of hers. To this, we must return to Romdo with its very own "dispositions."
After leaving Romdo, Re-l often finds herself compelled to re-think how things are, especially since this is the first time she has been outside the dome. As she quickly learns, living within the dome is far different than living outside it. Life outside the domed cities is difficult because of the harsh climate. It's like an exercise in one's will to live. Most humans, therefore, live in cities enclosed by domes, making life much easier. Very few remain outside of them, and even less manage to survive because of the combination of grim weather and airborne viruses. In stark contrast, everyday life within the domes, especially Romdo, is routine: people have jobs, they shop, they eat and sleep. There are plenty of places to shop for the usual needs and commodities that one often enjoys--even the latest fashions (Iggy, a robot apparently with an artificial eye for fashion, can hardly contain his enthusiasm when telling Re-l of the latest styles). All the basic needs for survival, and then some, are met. Basically, life within the domes is "life as normal." Unfortunately for Re-l, this life-as-normal routine in Romdo is a toneless bore. She considers Romdo to be a dull paradise. Everything seems to be a bit too efficient and polished. Romdo itself is a technocracy carried to its logical outcome and perfection. There is even an omnipresent P.A. system with giant screens always ready to issue advice for the betterment of society. Added to this is the pervasiveness of security cameras and personnel. Perfect order comes with a price, it seems. Naturally, we can surmise that it's order and control with which Re-l is familiar. In fact, being a member of Romdo's intelligence agency she would be expected to accommodate and adapt to this regimented lifestyle. (She is to embody a set of Romdo-rules, as all citizens of Romdo are to do, but not exactly consciously. These are extremely abstract sorts of rules that seem to be everywhere and nowhere in a society. We could refer to them as socially normative rules, but they seem to be deeper than what normativity suggests; furthermore, they seem to be even deeper than what the word "rule" suggests. In any case, we use the term "rule" in a broad sense, with the hope of not distorting and straining it too much. Concerning these "social-rules", it should not take any great insight to see what effects the P.A. system and security measures are meant to produce in Romdo's citizens. Good fellow citizens do x, y, and z, but never b. If you do b, you will be punished with a, c, or d. We should also point out that these social-rules--i.e. foundational rules--often have the strange character of seeming to be wholly external and eternal, as if they were given to a society from "outside." They can be mystifying--and possibly alienating--if one becomes vaguely aware of them, so it's perhaps best not to consciously grasp these rules if one is to function smoothly in a society like Romdo. Nagging intuitions about how things are often bother some citizens of Romdo, usually leading to undesirable consequences.) She does, however, have some non-conformist leanings: she is often willing to bend the rules to carry out her duties. This natural individuality of hers often troubles both Iggy and the highest beings within Romdo. We may note that this unpredictable element within her personality is one of the causes which "starts things in motion" in Romdo, eventually expanding beyond it. This refusal to completely and blindly accept such rigid systems is the chaotic element within Re-l, thus allowing life in Romdo to be somewhat bearable. She does, however, keep this random element in control, never allowing it to undermine what Romdo had inculcated in her. It's more of a regulative element which purges a mind overabundant with a deep sense of boredom. In any event, she is fairly accustomed to Romdo's way of life, its general worldview. For the most part, Romdo is inconspicuous and transparent to her; therefore, its total generality is more background than foreground in her mind. As long as things function properly, it's business as usual.
The general monotony that she experiences daily in Romdo, however, is somewhat different than the one she comes to experience in episode 16: the repetitious experience of a life in pause. Even though the sense of unnatural uniformity is everywhere in Romdo, it does not stop Re-l from carrying on with her professional duties and personal life. In episode 16, now finding herself surrounded by a host of seemingly hopeless situations--rationed food, harsh climate, close quarters, and forced idleness--the sense of boredom is focused. It's like when one takes a magnifying glass to concentrate the sunlight as a narrow point of light. Such a focused point of light burns and destroys whatever it falls upon. Unfortunately for a certain member of the Rabbit, this point of negative energy is seemingly focused on her experiences alone. It's in everything that she experiences. It's in her hearing, smelling, tasting, touching, and seeing. Furthermore, it's in her thinking.
As it dwells in her mind, it creates what appears to be problems revealed to her alone. Perhaps subconsciously acting to counter its effects (the Romdo-rules at work), Re-l begins her days with a specific routine: wake up at a specific time; get prepared in a specific time; survey the situation and landscape; check the supplies, and so on. For several days, this is her routine. Notice that this is a routine, something that should come naturally to her. We should expect carry-over from her Romdo-life to her present situation. This carry-over, we surmise, transferred the set of Romdo-rules which had previously guided and determined her life in the dome. She inevitably embodies Romdo's rules. It could not be otherwise. With this Romdo influenced lifestyle--governed by a host of rules--she is able to manage the circumstances for a brief period of time. It gives her a way of (strictly) ordering her actions and experiences. Thus, her Romdo-life still exerts an influence on her, having embedded a sort of pattern within her. Unfortunately, this preset routine-building seems to make things worse, as we shall see. This Romdo set of rules no longer works as neatly as it used to, considering that she is no longer a part of Romdo's highly organized social system. What served as a background in Romdo became forced to the foreground.
As mentioned earlier, we had sketched Re-l's general framework of personality. We noticed her analytical nature, her reflective side. We also noticed her systematizing nature: how she orders and controls whatever she feels needs to be examined better, a natural offshoot from her Romdo-life. Here we have an individual whose main strategy in dealing with almost anything is demanding and regimented. Now imagine placing this highly ordered mindset, which worked reasonably well in a much larger environment like Romdo, in a somewhat different situation where the smallest of things can be amplified. Furthermore, in this situation only Re-l is following a given set of rules. What would be cycling within such a mind when it starts its daily analysis?
We can assume that her first task aboard the now idle Rabbit was the formulation of a routine, as mentioned earlier. Now imagine going over the same routine day after day, without experiencing the desired results or insights. Imagine acquiring, instead, the seemingly negative results, ideas, and insights as the days pass. When Re-l's dispositions go to work in this situation, she has to focus on virtually the same things as they reappear in their daily cycle. One of the noticeable changes, however, is the diminishing supplies, which definitely is not a good thing. As a result, the food supply eventually whittles down to a small daily ration of beans and sauce--now becoming a constant feature. Another constant is the weather. There is ice and snow, heavy clouds, and no wind. The weather itself becomes vividly trapped in her daily cycle. With no changes in the weather, save for even more snow, this changeless state of weather greets her day after day, never giving her the desired result: wind. And let us not forget the other two passengers aboard the craft: Vincent and Pino. For the most part Re-l studies their respective behavior, which is seen as exhibiting various dispositions. She notes the subtle things about them, e.g. both Vincent and Pino are left-handed. Often jotting down her thoughts on this or that feature of their behavior, Re-l keeps a notepad by her side. However, there is only so much she can endure while being around them virtually all the time, never really having any to herself. Also, it does not help Re-l's mindset that Vincent and Pino react to the situation differently than she does. She notes roughly halfway through the episode that she can barely comprehend their deeper inexpressible qualities, as if there is a barrier preventing any further interaction and knowledge. They have their own seemingly private rules, which she is not allowed to access while she is in her own private mood. On their side of the barrier, both Vincent and Pino seem to take it all in stride, Vincent with his lax attitude and Pino with her childlike wonder and questioning. Indeed, three hours of idleness does not bother the two at all (To Re-l's sheer amazement and puzzlement, she witnesses them sitting down outside doing absolutely nothing. They stare forwards, gazing at nothing in particular. In fact, she interprets this inactivity as a decrease in their moral, unaware of their respective serene, meditative expressions). Their countering behavior, as well, falls under Re-l's system of interpretation and study. She is met with much of the same results when she decides to ponder them. If there are any changes, they only add frustrating mysteries rather than stimulating discoveries to her thoughts. She still has no solid ideas concerning Vincent's nature, the mysterious Proxies, or the cogito virus which infects AutoReivs. It's all one giant question mark that refuses to shed any light on any path towards an answer.
With a mind occupied with a series of thoughts, Re-l has to face the constant recurrence of the same food, the same weather, and the same behavior (perhaps her own as well). Within a larger environment--social and physical--someone can avoid the recurrence of the same things, since there is simply so much more to experience. Except that in this case, stuck in very close quarters, Re-l meets the same things which show very little variation each time they cycle around once more in her mind. It's like having "idea1" always in the mind, never transforming into a fresh insight. Instead, with each appearance in the mind the idea adds on a long tail of numerals, making it worse: idea1, idea1.1, idea1.11, idea1.111, etc. (Why oh why can we not have idea1.n transform into Insight1!?) The effects that all of this cognitive regurgitation and stagnation has on her personality are clearly negative. Whatever is acting upon her personality manifests its effects in her emotions. As a consequence, we notice that her boredom has the peculiar tendency to adjust the frequency of a particular emotion within it, viz. anger. When in the right mood, certain emotions tend to be volatile, set off by almost anything. As one noticeable result of being attuned in this way, Re-l's frustrations do not always remain hidden; they get focused or shifted onto other things. We often see her focusing most of her criticisms on Vincent, for example, even when some things are beyond his influence or control: while eating--beans again--Re-l openly chastises Vincent for his evident lack of planning, though knowing full well that neither of them can do anything about the lack of wind. But the sheer frustration she feels is somewhat understandable; these mood-heightened emotions can make any atmosphere absolutely palpable. Some people often speak of cutting the room-tension with a knife. Emotions and feelings demand to be written with a tensed authority when mood is doing the typing: Angry, Frustrated, and Tired. Perhaps, as graceless existentialists, we can poetically conclude this section by saying that Re-l's eternal recurrence is presently more aimless angst than joyful affirmation. Hell is others in repetition. Let's explore further this metaphorical landscape in which some poor souls are forced to dwell. We will extract the reality which is concealed in the metaphor and see what it too holds.
Often, when one considers the concept of a hell, the resulting image is rarely a bright and colorful one. When it is picturesque, the palette is usually visceral, not dreamy. When thinking of the usual concept, the colors are usually washed out, muted, stifled, dense, opaque, dark. Think of Gustav Dore's interpretation of the inferno. When we consider such a representation, the mental imagery that seems to naturally follow is itself shrouded in muted colors. Our thoughts asphyxiate; they are cloaked with the heaviest of materials, making it very difficult to think clearly anymore. What on this or any other planet could have such an effect on our minds? At this point, we must consider a not entirely obvious candidate: the weather. There are times when the entire weather seems to weigh down on us, like it exerts an extra sort of gravity--felt only as an emotional experience. In fact, some people are often subjected to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which is partially due to minimum exposure to daylight and warmth, i.e. life in winter. Let us take this concept further. What would it be like to experience permanent winter for the very first time? How would things eventually seem to us as we first experience such conditions? We can get an idea of what it would be like when we examine Re-l's situation from another aspect. This time, we approach the questions as metaphysical meteorologists.
It appeared to us that life in Romdo is life as normal, or close enough when you are living in a gigantic dome. Perhaps even in these domes, taxes are inevitable as well. There is plenty of artificial light simulating day and night, so sleeping patterns are kept steady. No need for the citizens to worry about vitamin-D deficiency. There is also a controlled climate in Romdo, so the physical environment's temperature stays at a nice constant. Consequently, the conditions in the dome resemble summer. Life in Romdo, it seems, is not too different than living in a major city located close enough to the equator to experience steady summer. The biggest difference is the presence of the dome which separates the outside environmental elements from the inside ones (remember that the outside world's climate is permanently winter). Growing up in Romdo, it seems, would not be that different than growing up in a large city with a fairly stable climate. It's not hard to imagine that such an environment would be deeply ingrained in any given citizen of Romdo, so much so that any significant variance in it would entail a significant change in those citizens as well. And this brings us directly back to Re-l's displaced life on the Rabbit, with two companions getting on her nerves, food that progressively tastes worse, and weather that never changes for the better.
The outside weather in the world of Ergo Proxy is indeed frightful. So terrible, in fact, that almost nothing can survive in the climate. Whatever does manage to endure the weather, usually dies from some airborne virus. As can be expected from such harsh conditions, very few humans survive outside the domes. While not exactly "lucky ones", Re-l and Vincent find ways to live through whatever they find themselves against, in this case, the weather. (Pino, being an AutoReiv, does not have to worry about cold weather or virus-induced illnesses that infect mainly humans.) Once it was just a worry for outsiders, but now the weather, too, is an immediate problem: now they have no choice but to live amongst the various elements, since their venture to Mosk from Romdo. As Re-l's opening dialogue tells us, her first experience of the morning for that day consists of seeing dense pre-dawn fog. After it lifts, there is still not much to see: a perpetually cloudy sky making everything dark and cold. The clouds never go away; they are always there. They do not hang in the sky; they smother it like how a neglected masterpiece becomes covered in years of grime and soot. When we look to the earth, our gaze is met with ice, snow drifts, and barren landscapes of rock. If the sky is a ruined masterpiece, the land is an empty and tattered canvas, discarded by its creator. And the one crucial element they depend on--the wind--is nowhere to be found. It's a conspicuous absence that Re-l never fails to notice as she plans her day.
Here we have it: the weather being another influence on her experiences of things. Alongside her routine-behavior and inculcated dispositions as mentioned above, she also has the weather itself flowing into her mood, heightening the elements within her experiences. In some experiential elements, the effect is like listening to aggravating feedback in an auditory system, always giving unwanted extra sounds. In one scene, as Re-l is trying to sleep she hears the sound of ice falling on the roof of the craft. If one were to suddenly stir a bag of dry bones, the sound, we imagine, would be similar--and it may well produce the same feelings within us, as well. Trying to put the distracting sound out of her mind, she tosses over in bed. The sound, we speculate, creates in her mind a paradoxically unheard mental noise, an extra tone, scraping against the edges of her conscious mind. When Re-l awakes once more, she cannot even force herself to get out of bed and maintain her routine. (Another strongly felt effect of the mood: the loss of energy.) We have to admit, however, that few weather related events can cause such a mindset. A week of cold weather usually does not affect us so greatly; most of us shrug it off and get on with our days. Yet, could we easily shrug off bad weather that has lasted for hundreds of years? What if we were compelled to live in confined quarters as well? And what if we kept a diary consisting of systematic notes of how things became progressively worse, thus preserving specific memories of the past days? Are we finally beginning to have an understanding for what Re-l is experiencing? For an analytical mind that naturally tends to focus on certain relations, objects, or qualities in her experiences, it would be safe to say that Re-l gradually learns her limits--her breaking point. We say this because repetition of certain things is always a fine way to test someone's limits. By now having gained an idea of what has been contributing to Re-l's worsening state of mind, perhaps we should begin our study of moods. For it's through a mood that these elements are filtered and thus experienced.
As we can see, we need to obtain a general sense of moods. Of course, the sense we are after, since it will be general, will undoubtedly leave out some elements; but we will fill them in as we go forth. For now, we just want to secure the overall "feel" as our starting point. As such, it's necessary for us to grasp an intuitive feel of moods if we are to make any advance in our study. We must also have an appropriate scheme that makes conspicuous whatever is not; it's one of the goals of this essay to make us understand what is involved in being in a mood, especially when we do not always notice our own interactions in the mood. How we are attempting to understand this necessarily depends on our using the appropriate scheme or working hypothesis, in conjunction with our intuitive feel for moods. With that in mind, we can now consider moods and the roles they play in our lives.
Consider the experience of being bored. What is it like to be bored, and how does it affect our daily experiences? Anyone who has been bored is fully aware of the qualities embedded within our experiences while we are in such a frustrating mood. Leaving nothing untouched by its light-extinguishing pall, boredom is like an immense shadow cast by a slowly passing cloud. You are caught in its lackluster shadow; the trees are snarled within it; your meals are tainted by it; your music is muffled by it; your senses themselves are dulled by it. It's everywhere you sense and think. As a result, boredom is strangely an external and internal experience. We will elaborate on this in more detail throughout the essay. Yet, we can briefly mention here that this incorporeal shadow blurs the distinction between the external and internal. Does the coffee actually taste that bland, or is it just an odd collateral effect of being bored? Does the weather seem to be cold or is it actually that way? Here we find the greatest blurring, to the point we may not be able to sensibly answer some of the questions. While you could easily make a new pot of coffee and check the temperature outside, there is no guarantee that these steps will dispel the shadow's effects. In other words, we cannot easily disentangle the subjective and objective while we are in such a mood. In fact, this entanglement is often a necessary part of certain qualities within some our experiences. For the most part, you need to drink real coffee if you are to have its vivid subjective qualities presented to you. This entanglement seemingly gives the mood's character phenomenally striking qualities, in that any given mood is experienced "as a whole."
An important thing to notice about moods is that they are total-state experiences. In less difficult and more personal words, moods are greedy and selfish; they like to have us all to themselves. Some of them are like metaphysical cloaks of lead or sentient shadows. For instance, when we are bored, nothing seems to shine as bright as it once did, and we no longer feel a certain lightness of being. The child riding his bike, for example, does not find it to be an enjoyable past-time, now that he is caught within the broad shadow of boredom. In a sense, it may feel more like work than play, having to pump the pedals and maneuver the handlebars around various obstacles. Some things no longer have the lively character they formerly had, as this child is now fully aware of the fact. Boredom, as personified, wants us to itself, and it will not share us with any other mood. While it has us, it forces us to look closer. Subsequently, bad moods, like any other mood, have a distinguishing trait of modifying whatever is at the center of our attention. Good moods make almost everything that we experience enjoyable: remember the rich smell of a warm summer evening when we feel content, the laziness in our muscles after spending a lively day working or playing, or the sight of that mellow sunset. There are few things that remain completely outside our good moods, if that is even possible. Nothing, it seems, transcends a mood. Even our biological functions, such as breathing, are entangled in a given mood. When we are in a good mood, we "breathe easily" and carelessly. When we are very bored, we struggle for simple breaths of air, often sighing aloud. Sometimes the tension is so bad it's like our lungs are filled with cotton balls. Our bodies may feel fatigued, as expressed by the child working the bike to move. These are just some of the elements that are located within the mood. Of all those things that fall under the mood's heaviest shadow, they have their qualities highly altered, transformed, or amplified so that one cannot miss noticing them as they are experienced. They are sensed far more easily as they are blackened out by the terrible mood. It's like a paradoxical light source that falls upon them: as the elements darken under the mood, they are further revealed to us. Even the emotions light up negatively. An emotional reaction becomes more volatile than usual when influenced by a mood, especially, in some dispositions, anger. Anger, as experienced in a bad mood, is like an unsatisfying eruption of energy; it does not have the emotionally gratifying effects of catharsis. Even when we are projecting calmness onto the world, we give the world this character only when we are subjected to an encompassing good mood filled with satisfaction. Whichever way we choose to look at the world and its elements, our outlook will always be illuminated by some mood or other. Any given mood is a total experience; its influence is seemingly boundless in our experiences. This influence never goes away. It's unobtrusive to us for most of the time. Notice, however, that moods never fully leave us. Important to our study is the idea that a mood is always replaced by another mood, even if the newly replacing one is nameless: our default mood, as it were. However, for this change or alteration to come about, there is usually some event that makes this process possible.
There are certain incidents that have the power to radically change one mood to another. Think of being depressed and lonely. There are seemingly few things that can help us shed the feelings that take hold of us. "Getting over it" is not as easy as changing our Joy Division t-shirt to our Hello Kitty t-shirt. It often takes either the gradual accumulation of certain small events, or the arrival of a fairly large startling event to shift ourselves away from loneliness. As an example, consider the following: from out of nowhere, a good friend you have not heard from in some time surprises you with a visit or phonecall. The sun now feels warmer and the heart lightens up. An occurrence such as this helps us far more than that trite remark quoted above. These surprises are like sudden shifts in the weather that transform one state into another. Moods can be thought of as similar to the weather in a way that is presently useful to us. The warm air, the cloudless sky, the gentle breeze--these are the elements of the weather. The weather itself is the totality of these things. Likewise, moods are the totality of the elements of our experiences that collect or accrue in the course of a day. The great taste of that coffee, the relaxing of the body, the feeling of satisfaction--these are the elements of the good mood. The mood is, like the weather, the complete whole. So when a sufficiently strong element such as a high pressure system forms in our daily lives, it may lead to our "emotional weather" being in a state of stagnation--a state of boredom where nothing happens. We find ourselves busy doing nothing. Just like when a meteorological element rolls into another weather pattern, the shift from one state to another may be either swift or gradual. In either case, we can be assured that a change is on the way.
As we now return to Re-l's experiences, we can comment further on them and combine them with more insights. With our understanding of moods, we will use it to see how Re-l herself reacts to such conditions as they fall under her boredom. As we had passed by Re-l's boredom-amplified anger (her scolding Vincent for him having a non-plan, as an example), we noted its volatile character and how even the weather can cause an outburst directed at whomever is present. (We will notice toward the end of this essay another significant outburst with a different character, however.) Whatever falls in its scope is subjectively tainted by the mood, e.g. when responding to Pino's questioning if the slice of bread tastes good, Re-l can only tersely comment on its flat, old taste. Her sense of taste picks out elements which appear most prominent to her. This bread is stale bread and these beans are--sigh--they just are, and nothing more. Since eating is something one has to do everyday, this too is located toward the center of the shadow. Thus, it too does not escape unscathed. Somehow, the seemingly essential qualities of our experiences of eating and drinking are never fully realized to us. Or if they are, which is more likely, they come with something else which seems to hover over and above the essential qualities. It's like the sweetness of cookies has another mysterious property that cannot be fully put into words. Nothing seems to taste right because something else is acting on them. Thus, it may appear that some things are blocked or muted by a bad mood, because something else is intervening on them. We notice that Re-l's intervening boredom has this power of selective concealment, covering certain things and not presenting others. Because of the nature of some debilitating states of mind, we too may not be entirely sure if some things are not presented to us. It could be that we just do not notice some things; in a way, we are blind to them. In any event, only some things are clearly revealed to her, and most of them are unexceptional or trite. This is especially true when Re-l does not attain any startling, new insights into Vincent's nature--only more frustrating, shadowy enigmas. There is something there, or so it seems, but it's too distant or hazy to make any sense of it. It remains at the edges, never coming close enough to Re-l's grasping intuitions. Her thoughts, instead, are filled and occupied by mundane experiences occurring day in and day out, like clockwork. For good or bad, they are immediately there for her. Yet, she cannot entirely help it if she experiences things in this way, for she herself is subject to this oppressive shadow. She is the one who has to experience the bland food, the terrible weather, the stifling ideas--they are her experiences of how things are. While we might question how we the viewers can know her subjective experiences--i.e. not ours--we can safely assume that there is an essential commonality we share: we actually know what boredom feels like, when someone says that she is bored. As such, we had taken it upon ourselves to appreciate what it would be like to be in her situation, to have her experiences. In fact, the entire episode does exactly that, and we are here examining what follows from it. We noticed, as did she, how some things manifest themselves differently under certain conditions. Whatever is located toward the center of someone's mood tends to be heightened whenever it's experienced. As the immediate object of attention, a certain sensation, feeling, or thought can display something which is noticed in one mood, but not in another. Having now seen how moods can affect almost anything that occurs within them, we are ready for the next crucial step: when a mood and its elements work in such a way that they reveal an opportunity for insight.
Re-l is very bored. That much is certain. Her boredom registers what is usually expected when one is in such a state. Here or there, nothing new is to be found. When there is even less to do, she often writes in her notebook as a way to pass the time. As her boredom persists and worsens, her writing eventually becomes little more than single phrases: as an example, a single page in her notebook consists of the two words "facial hair" surrounded by scribbles (Vincent tends to miss cutting off one strand of hair on his chin whenever he shaves. Re-l, ever the studious analyst, notices it sticking out and growing each day). She notices only the seemingly banal and uneventful elements in her experiences while she is bored. But what if this banality functions in an unexpected way for her? What do we make of those elements which unexpectedly shift one pattern into another? What we usually do not expect or notice, however, is when an element is dislodged, thus bringing about a larger shift: a change in mood, like the clearing of the weather. Because we do not expect them, the changes they bring about are so inexpressively disquieting that one often needs a moment to take it all in. --What just happened?-- What can cause these changes? When we said that there are some things which cannot be helped when we are in a bad mood, there are, nevertheless, some things that we can help. We see that this is something which Re-l intuitively grasps as well. Toward the end of the episode, Re-l is seen lying in bed, having written the scribbled phrase mentioned above. Rather than writing, she is chewing on the tip of her pen. Her face expresses her fitful state of mind. She cannot even focus her thoughts enough to write anything beyond that simple phrase. By inner dialogue, she speaks of reaching her breaking point, wondering what caused it (We claim it was a plurality of causes and events, as we mapped it out above). Yet, this last act of expressing the one thing that was immediately on her mind, though it may seem trivial, perhaps was the first unnoticed step towards dispelling the mood. She had intuitively grasped something that was indeed within her range, giving her a way out.
So, which of Re-l's actions causes such a shift in mood? Let us first set up the situation. It's now the day after she had written the single phrase expressing her inability to think clearly. The craft's power level has reached the point that they cannot use the lights, so they use candles to illuminate the interior of the craft. The candle light in such close quarters gives the cabin's atmosphere an air of tranquility. The shadows are soft, never becoming solid and sharp. It almost looks nostalgic, like how things are often imagined to be centuries ago when there was no electricity. Vincent and Pino are busy doing something, as is usually the case with them. Meanwhile, Re-l is once again writing in her notebook, except that this time she seems to be more productive than the previous night. The whole scene looks like an oil painting that suggests those dark nights of the soul where introspection pierces all barriers. As such, it necessarily suggests release or deliverance, which is why it's worth our attention. Returning to specifics once more, Re-l calls out to Vincent that she needs a new candle, her own having now melted down to a stump. Just as when Vincent is handing her a new candle, she quickly grabs his wrist and pulls him closer to her. She has her other hand gently grasping him under his chin, slowly drawing his face toward hers. If the tension was heavy when days ago she scolded him for having no sensible plan, the tension is now of a very different sort, still retaining a manifest quality. We still feel it, though it's now changed. In total serenity, it's the setup for a stolen kiss. We are about to see the moment when the mood shifts for the better, and we could not have expected it to happen in a better situation than now. Ready to commence the transition in her own unique way, Re-l does something else instead. Having Vincent immediately before her, she quickly transitions from seeming romance to apparent mischievousness. With one swift move, she plucks out the single irritating hair on his chin, instead of delivering the kiss we may have expected. Letting out a laugh for the first time, she tosses the vexing chin-hair aside. Vincent, having no idea why she did that, is clearly puzzled and startled by her confusing actions. And it's here we see her smile ever so slightly. It's her first genuine, yet understated, smile in the episode. She does not smile because she caused him brief pain; she smiles inwardly because she caused the start of a change in her mood. The writing of the phrase in the notebook was the element, and the removal of hair was the event.
This may sound slightly odd, but we can think of that single hair as a proxy for the totality of elements and occurrences that had been constantly cycling in her mind those past days. To simplify it further (while keeping in mind the risk of oversimplification) the hair stood for all the undesirable elements. All of those recursive experiences had finally been, in a sense, made concrete: they were collected and constituted as a complete whole and expressed in the two words "facial hair", as scribbled down on the night she pondered her limits. By having the total elements of everything that had been troubling her condensed in a single representable concept, Re-l's intuition was no longer grasping at things far too distant. Instead, it took hold of all what was presently available to it, giving her something to work with, something external and readily available. And by removing what corresponded to her external concept (i.e. the hair corresponding to the phrase in her notebook), it allowed for the conditions of the arrival of a different mood. Her boredom would soon wane, like how a stagnant area of weather transforms into new weather: dead calm and nothingness becoming a stirring something. We should note that while the same basic elements are involved, they are now moving in different patterns. Put in another way, the same air is involved in both a snowstorm and a calm day; it just adapts to the weather as environmental circumstances dictate. We now sense different things. Re-l still faces the same perpetual winter, the same food, and the same companions, but each of these now has the potential to "move" in refreshingly novel ways. For this was not entirely possible when they were strictly organized within one conceptual framework, allowing only certain patterns of thought. By removing the proxy, thus removing the recurring totality of experiences and events, Re-l had prepared the ground for experiencing and seeing things in a different light.
The last notable scene to briefly consider is the concluding scene which immediately follows from the one we considered. We will not spend much time on it because the crucial scene for our study had been examined above. Nevertheless, it's important in that it does indeed confirm our assertion that the right conditions for dispelling her mood have been met. Let us now see the first effects of the subtle mood-change, and to where it may lead.
Writing once more in her notebook, Re-l is standing outside on the deck of the Rabbit. Paying attention only to her notebook, she is looking downwards as she writes. As far as we can tell, only she is near the craft. Either the other two are in the craft, or they are exploring some distance away from it. In any case, we see Re-l alone on the craft's deck; this is her moment. With still no wind to be found, the atmosphere remains calm. In almost complete silence, she stands under the cloud filled sky. However, in one of those moments when something "tells" you to do this or that--like when you sense someone staring at you, and you turn around to find that you were correct--Re-l happens to look up towards the sky. As she looks to the sky, she is immediately greeted with the brilliant sight of an aurora. Despite the heavy layers of clouds that fill the sky, the aurora is strong and vibrant enough to be seen through them. They swirl and unfold, dancing across the sky, not the least bit impeded by the dense clouds. We can imagine that it must be a magnificent sight for Re-l to experience while in her shifting mood. When she looks up, we can hear her audibly gasp in surprise and awe. All she can do is watch the aurora unwind across the sky.
Imagine what it would be like to experience it, especially for the first time. The novel situation that she needed to experience is here and now, seemingly for her alone. Her previous act of eliminating her conceptualized distraction had prepared the fertile ground for making such an experience so vivid. It almost has a meditative effect on her, as she stands under the aurora filled sky. She smiles, but it's not the slight one she revealed earlier--it's an unconcealed serene smile directed at everything and nothing in particular. What things are like for her, we can imagine, are most likely now qualitatively different than before, as when she was in her perpetual state of boredom. The sky no longer looks oppressive and indifferent. The weather itself no longer seems to be an inanimate thing. It now seems responsive, ready to do something if the conditions are right. As Re-l herself can attest, the conditions are indeed ready for change. No longer seeming distant and inanimate, the weather waits for Re-l be a cause. Engaging in a little primal scream therapy, she yells out into the weather, commanding it to come for her. Only an intimate personification of the weather, a new way of looking at the same situation, allows her to fully cast off the oppressive shadow of the bad mood. The mind's lead cloak is now gone, replaced by the lightness of a new perspective. Her unsolvable problems and unanswerable questions dissolve and disperse, for they no longer hold in her mind as they once did. What was once a problem lost its claim to being one; with a change in the rules, the problem vanished, dispersed, thus preparing the ground for seeing novelty and change. And just like Re-l's mood transforming from one state to another, the weather itself changes for the better: the wind returns. The previous state of stagnation gives way to a gust of wind, changing one pattern to another. All that had been previously mired in one specific cycle of recurrence now moves in many rapid and unpredictable systems. Each system now affects the other, giving a host of fresh results not achievable until now. Remember: everything now moves in new and unpredictable ways, a welcome change for Re-l. With the proper conditions now in place, she and the others continue on with the journey, which offers to show her newly revealed possibilities and perspectives. What was once a private world belonging only to Vincent and Pino has now become open to Re-l.
Looking back on the ground covered, we sketched a general nature of boredom. We saw what was involved in being in specific moods: good and bad moods present us with an altered world where things can be experienced in contrasting ways. While we are in a good mood, this bread may be tasty. When we are in a bad mood, it seems to be tainted with something ineffable. Conversations may appear vapid or spirited, depending on the mood in which one finds oneself. The weather itself may seem invigorating to one and spiteful to another, even if they are walking together in the very same weather. Undoubtedly we are affected in some ways by how things seem to us. Thus, we were more concerned with the subjective observer-dependent features, rather than the objective observer-independent features of the world (Boredom, while a "real" thing, does not exist in the same sense of the word as a cloud does). Of course, we are not denying that the latter were somehow fundamentally unimportant to us--far from it, since we appealed to this world time and again--but for our purposes we were more interested in those former things as they inevitably fall under a highly subjective perspective as experienced by a subject. We wanted the "feel of things." And more importantly for this essay, as the elements and events fall under our subjective experiences, we may feel compelled at times to focus on whatever it is we are currently experiencing. Perhaps, by focusing on both the qualities of an experience and the total experience itself--i.e. the parts and the whole--we may discern something within our lives that we had never noticed before. By seeing the part as it appears under this aspect, we may possibly see the whole as something else. We see the novelty. The moods, whether they are good, bad, or nameless, have as their nature to disguise, exaggerate, falsify, distort, divulge, slant, strain, tint, bare, betray, communicate, disclose, enhance, and reveal many things to whomever find herself minding them.
The Ghost and the Shell: Meaning, Unity, and Understanding
This image is simple, yet difficult. At first glance, its simplicity presents the viewer with a situation that appears to be not very remarkable. One might say that there is not much worth saying about it at all; it is just another DVD cover for another anime. However, the simplicity of this image conceals and reveals more than it shows us. And this is what makes it both difficult and simple to comment on. The difficulty arises from trying to provide a definite explanation of it; the simplicity arises from the fact that we, nevertheless, understand the situation. Surely we must find a meaningful way to approach this image so that we may understand its unity--a unity that reconciles these seeming opposites. After all, knowledge of such a reconciliation and unity may assist us if we choose to further our understanding of the many themes presented by Ghost In The Shell.
Perhaps a commentary is in order, a commentary concerned with revealing what we already know about the image via our understanding of both ourselves and others but are not explicitly aware of at all times. This commentary will attempt to delineate or highlight this unexpressed understanding by way of examples, with the aim of presenting insights. These insights in turn shall be used to reveal this mystery, which, it must be said, cannot be presented until the end of this questioning. This method will allow us to dwell on the meanings within the whole, before we understand it as a whole. It will be our task to shine our light ahead of us, making our way one step at a time. When we have arrived at our conclusion, we may find that we understand differently than we had at the outset.
First of all, let us become acquainted with the image we shall be studying. The image is a cover for the seventh volume of the Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex DVDs. It was illustrated by Makoto Shimomura and Kenzi Teraoka, based on original characters created by Masamune Shirow. The characters that we see in this image are Motoko Kusanagi, a member of the private security group Section 9, and a Tachikoma, an Artificially Intelligent tank.
From our perspective, we are looking downwards at the two characters. We are also placed on the left side of Motoko, but we are not quite in line with her: we "stand" slightly behind her. As a result of our viewing angle, we cannot see much of Motoko's face. Nevertheless, we are afforded a reasonably clear view of her body. We can see her kneeling on her right knee, while her right arm is extended forwards, touching. Directly in front of Motoko is the Tachikoma, the object of Motoko's touch. The Tachikoma faces Motoko, perhaps aware of her presence and touch. If we look at its left appendage, it too appears to be reaching forwards, but not touching Motoko. Its appendage is in the vicinity of Motoko's left knee. When we view the entire image, we see the two characters facing one another. One is making contact with the other; the other, however, does not display any obvious contact. Notice that we are aware of contact being made. It is, after all, very hard not to notice it when it is right in front of us. In fact, we may say that it is not even worth pointing out something so obvious to us. We see it, and the rest is silence.
Or is it? Is the contact that we are observing in this image really that trivial? If that were the case, why would the two illustrators choose to create such a bland, empty image? Of course, this would not be the first instance of the viewer being presented with visual-candy--i.e. something that is nice to look at. But this image is so sparse that it may not even qualify as being visual candy. Only two of the characters from GitS are represented in it, one being a minor character. Furthermore, it lacks the obvious kinetic action that "grabs us": massive gun-battles, vivid explosions, and quick bodily movements are nowhere to be found. Additionally, the color palate is nothing spectacular. They are quite limited in range, the dominant colors varying from certain shades of gray and blue. All in all, it appears that this image is indeed very basic and unexceptional. But the question remains: Why choose this image for a DVD cover? Perhaps, when we speak of the image in such a matter-of-fact way, we are missing something. And this something cannot be expressed or disclosed as a collection of basic facts, as our first hasty approach had quickly revealed to us. We arrive at triviality if we choose that method alone, separated from others. So let us approach the image once more, but this time we shall take care to notice the wealth of meanings which are necessarily unified with these acts. However, we shall not observe Motoko's "body language" like it were a mere key or doorway to something beyond the shell. We, on the other hand, shall understand her body language as inextricably unified with the mystery at hand. For this mystery is something that we will understand because of the meanings embedded in the image, skillfully and tacitly expressed by the illustrators. Let us now proceed towards one instance of meaning.
As we have noticed, Motoko is kneeling as she observes the Tachikoma in front of her. Why is she kneeling? An obvious reply to this is that Motoko is kneeling because she is conducting a technical inspection of the Tachikoma. (We will abbreviate this as the TI-view for the rest of the commentary.) But this does not appear to be the same type of kneeling that one does as when inspecting a vehicle or machinery. As we shall see, this act is different. To be more precise, while the physical acts of kneeling in both the TI-view and the one we will be considering are approximately equal, the respective intentions of each act are qualitatively different. Let us suppose that instead of the Tachikoma, Motoko is inspecting an ordinary vehicle. If she were inspecting the headlights on it, she would indeed be kneeling, trying to get a better view of the lights. The same thing could be said if she were studying a dent in one of the doors. In other words, kneeling places one in a better position to visually inspect something of interest, e.g. dents in a door, faulty headlights, scratches in the paint. However, when we replace the vehicle with the Tachikoma, we must replace also the idea that Motoko is kneeling because she is searching for possible technical flaws. To repeat it once more, it would not make sense to use the bland TI-view for a DVD cover, especially for a GitS cover. We must give the illustrators more credit than that, for they wanted to communicate something else. This image communicates a different meaning which is not expressed by an image showing us a matter-of-fact inspection. This image tells us that she is kneeling for a different reason, a specific reason. Let us consider some examples and situations which will assist us in seeing why this is so.
When one kneels during prayer, we understand that this act is not the same act that one does when, say, scrubbing the floor. When one kneels in the presence of a certain person, it is intended to show respect or reverence; it is not because that person's shoes need to be tied or polished. Of course we could stand, but kneeling seems to reveal our deeper, profound emotions in situations that call for it. Furthermore, we recognize that our immediate environment embodies a qualitatively different meaning, a meaning not felt when we are picking weeds out of the garden. (Notice, however, that planting flowers may change our view.) Also, kneeling is not so much an act of submission in the negative sense, but a clear pronouncement of non-hostility. We might also say that we are making types of offerings which can be expressed only by specific acts. In some cases, it is almost as if kneeling brings us closer to what we want to know, what we do not clearly understand, and what we want another to understand. In these situations, kneeling just "feels right". There is no logical or rational explanation why we should be kneeling in any of these situations--acts of reverence, reflection, insight--nevertheless, we choose to do it. These acts are, in a sense, invested with meanings which are not found in certain situations. And it is we who recognize and distinguish these meaningful acts and situations from one another. We know the practical from the personal, and we know it immediately.
In the image at hand, we can recognize such a meaningful act. And this type of act is related to those acts which reveal or highlight reverence, respect, insight, or curiosity. We can see Motoko kneeling, and we have a notion why she is doing so. Her act in this situation conveys more than what would be revealed if she were inspecting a vehicle. There is a sense of profound curiosity and wonder present in her body, affecting those who look her way. Rather than standing beside the Tachikoma, she kneels directly in front of it. She wants her presence to be clearly felt and known. It is as if there is a great questioning resounding in her mind, spilling out into her body, compelling her to kneel. In fact, it may be that we are seeing her questioning, wondering, and curiosity exactly in that way--by her body. Her body language is invested with meaning, a meaning we notice right away. It is this immediately perceived meaning which allowed us to claim that she is not merely inspecting the Tachikoma. We, on the other hand, claim that she is in communion with it. To lend further credence to this claim, let us examine Motoko once more and find another instance of a meaningful act.
In addition to kneeling, we can clearly see Motoko reaching and touching the Tachikoma. Her right hand is placed on one of the Tachikoma's appendages. If we recollect the above mentioned view (the Technical-Inspection view), we may be tempted to say that this is more proof of her merely conducting an examination. Perhaps she is feeling a dent in the Tachikoma's armor, which may compromise its effectiveness in battle. To make things even more basic, we can say that she is simply resting her hand on it, and there is no need to say anything else on the matter. But this apparently small act, too, appears to have a qualitatively different meaning than the TI-view. This act resonates with us, in a way the TI-view does not. What may have been dismissed as an unremarkable detail is in fact worthy of our attention.
When we see Motoko touching the Tachikoma, she does not appear to be concerned with its physical aspects (e.g., its armor, weaponry, appendages, or sensors). She is simply touching the Tachikoma. In fact, if we look closely we notice that her fingertips are touching it. Her palm is not pressed flat against it, thus indicating that no great pressure is being placed against the Tachikoma. Her touch is light, using only the subtle connection made by her fingertips alone. Surely this is not how one would approach a tank. After all, why should she be delicate with an enormous piece of machinery? It would be safe to say that the battle-ready Tachikoma can withstand a mere touch. Yet, Motoko is doing exactly that: gently placing her fingertips on it, like one would handle a rare vase. Why? What is involved with this delicate touch, and why is it being used in this situation?
As we had noticed above, an act is not the same act when performed in different situations and contexts. When touching a rare vase, this act is invested with care, a care not present when touching a cement wall. One would take exceptionally great care when attempting to touch a sleeping tiger. Our touch in particular environments and instances is inquisitive--it makes familiar what was previously unknown. Our inquisitive, light touch somehow sharpens our consciousness--tunes us in to the correct channel, as it were. Conversely, our consciousness quickly tunes us in to the right channel before we touch the object of curiosity. This would become apparent if we were cautiously touching the previously mentioned tiger. We would know not to handle it roughly, but gently. Even if we had never known what a tiger is, we would most likely approach one cautiously. To take a different example, we take great care when grasping and carrying a newborn baby. We do not need to be told that we have to be careful; we just know. So it appears that in specific contexts our touch is invested with a special meaning that is lacking when we touch a brick wall or an old rusty car. Thus we notice a relation among all of those specific acts which display significant meanings worth pointing out. We can now use this relation to shed more light on Motoko's act, which is suggestive of such a significant meaning being present.
In Motoko's immediate involvement with the Tachikoma, we may now make the additional claim that her touch is invested with a significant meaning, as was the case with her act of kneeling. She does not appear to be acting as if the Tachikoma were nothing more than an AI battle-tank. Her actions express a reflective, almost pensive, value. As we noted, she chooses to press her fingertips gently against the Tachikoma, indicating that she is aware of a profound presence before her--a presence requiring care. It is like her act is saying out loud: "No other act can properly express my intent. Therefore, I do this." It may be that this is another one of those instances where a certain physical act or gesture just "feels right". We cannot properly explain why we do some things in certain situations, for they seem to come naturally. --We touch the face of a newborn baby quite differently from how we touch a rock.-- When we observe Motoko's body language, we notice that it does not take any special formal training to notice the meaning embedded in it. It speaks to us in a way that we recognize immediately. We need no radical theoretical knowledge to understand the curiosity and questioning of her touch. The questioning, the curiosity--both are here and now, before us, immediately recognizable as they are embedded in her acts. Her mind is embodied in her gestures, readily available to those who cast a glance her way.
Look at her; her curiosity is palpable. We intuitively recognize her inquisitiveness, yet we are not fully aware of what she is questioning--what she wants to understand clearly. We are drawn in with her, trying and wanting to express in words the exact object of our curiosity. Her body language cannot help but to communicate meaning to us, a meaning filled with wonder. She quietly kneels in front of the Tachikoma, gently making contact with it. She is being affected by what she is in the presence of. This affection heightens her awareness and curiosity, demanding her full attention. If anyone were to come upon this situation, Motoko may not even notice that person's presence. Her focus is on the Tachikoma and what it reveals to her. Perhaps she is not even aware of herself, that she is being considerate and subdued. It may be said that in situations such as this one, this is an ideal state to be in. It comes to us naturally. The "I" in the sentence, "I am thinking", is placed in a broader environment, as well as the thinking. This state colors or tunes the world differently so that we may understand something as we had never understood it before. It places the familiar in a new context, demanding that we look at its now newly unveiled form. It reveals. And what it reveals to Motoko is an implicit understanding she had all along. All of her gestures and actions are ready to disclose the mystery. She is recognizing the presence of the mysterious Ghost, the animating, living force which gives herself the ability to be and to understand.
The Ghost? Can we truly say that this is what she is contemplating, what she is grasping? We have to remember the anime that we are dealing with. If we were to forget it, we might be able to say that she is merely admiring or studying the latest technological wonder. But the world of Ghost In The Shell nevertheless influences how we perceive and understand this image. It gives us a context to place this image, and we work with this context as an additional guide to discern this meaning. However, this is not to say that our understanding of this image is limited by the anime itself (i.e. We inquire because GitS alone presented it to us). Instead, we use the GitS universe as a reference point, a point of familiarity. We know that the entire corpus of GitS often questions the nature of the Ghost, but not always explicitly. However, the image on the DVD cover presently under consideration seems to present this question, but not exactly as we might expect it to be. It uses a different channel to communicate its meaning.
We might say that the scene broaches the question, "What is the Ghost?", indirectly. Instead of boldly presenting a subtitle pronouncing the subject at hand ("I ask you, what is the Ghost in the Shell that Motoko understands to be in the Tachikoma?"--ahem), the image gives us the sense that we have come upon a private communion between two individuals. We witness a pregnant pause. It may be taking place in a busy, populated section, but the situation itself involves only the two of them. But we have to be careful when we use the words "private" and "only". True, this situation does involve Motoko and the Tachikoma, but the scene is open to us as well. Specifically, it is not the scene alone which is open to us observers; the meanings which are embedded within it are open to us as well, so we are now participants as well as observers. Notice that our participation involves a sort-of "distant" contemplation, and Motoko's participation involves her active engagement in the image. Yet, we nevertheless understand such an interaction, despite our apparent distance. We vicariously experience Motoko's experience. We understand the Ghost as she understands it. Recall that we were able to make the distinction between meaningful acts in various situations and contexts. From these distinctions we were able to claim that Motoko's body language expresses a profound curiosity which would not be visibly present if she were conducting mere inspection. As a result of those distinctions and clarifications, we are now able to say that the Ghost is the object interest. When we remember the series which this scene is drawn from, our claim intuitively seems that much more "right". In fact, if we now consider everything we have mediated on in this commentary, we notice that the image does not intend to give a question at all. Rather, our questions have emerged from what we have been presented. They are from us, not the image. We, as we now notice, have been given the impression of what the Ghost is. This impression is what we question. We have been guided towards an unexpressed understanding.
This image conveys the sense or understanding of what the Ghost is, but it does not attempt to provide a definitive explanation. An explanation of the Ghost cannot be something analogous to, say, an explanation of a mathematical term. (However, even mathematical concepts have this deep understanding that is arrived at by various demonstrations and methods.) To try and explain the Ghost with such a strict method would present one with what may be insurmountable difficulties and insoluble questions. And if we were to present it as a formal definition or concept, we would unintentionally filter out the meaningful links which had enabled us to approach it. Even with our own approach, numerous clarifications and examples were needed to shed light on what we were trying to see. And once this understanding had been reached, we could neither fully express it in words, nor fully contain it in a formal definition. We, on the other hand, were concerned with experiencing it so that we could engage with it. Undoubtedly, to deny all that was revealed from the image seems counter-intuitive because it was exactly this implicit understanding that allowed us to discern between one meaningful act and another, one meaningful environment and another. Having said all that, we do not make the following claim that we cannot approach the concept or understanding with words, and therefore we must necessarily abandon all attempts at clarifying this concept and others like it. Clearly, that makes little sense, to the point of it being absurd. After all, our study of the image relied on words. Let us consider this: When we use language in specific contexts, we must attempt alternative ways of clarifying what we mean, what we understand, and what we want others to understand. So it was with language that we had inquired into the nature of this image, which demanded to be inquired into and to be brought forth.
The purpose of this commentary was to assist us in those tasks. By means of the familiar, we arrived at fresh insights of what we had already known. In the image we have just studied, it can arguably be said that the Ghost has been indirectly presented to us, and it was our duty to highlight and understand it. The task was not to tell us; it was to show us--when we have our "aha" moment. While we may not be able to point at the mystery like it were a physical object, we can be guided towards an implicit understanding of it by means of our shared understanding of ourselves and our meanings. And once we become aware that we do understand, we can never abandon our understanding of it, for we must engage with it if we are to make sense of ourselves and our place in the world--ideas presented by Ghost In The Shell.
First published 11/16/08; revised for typographical error 01/12/09
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