Nice Card.

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Dear Orochimaru.

Dear Orochimaru,

I don't know why you're talking like that. Stop it.

Sincerely, annoyed with your lack of grammar and proper wording,

P.S. I am not holding your damn snakes for you. Hold them yourself.

Dear Photo Album.

Dear Old Photos,

Why do I even still look at you?

Sincerely, stuck only with memories,

Dear Itachi.

Dear Itachi,

I'll accept my payment for giving you a haircut now. I've already taken half of the payment in your pride but I don't feel that it's sufficient to cover your charge.

Sincerely, your friendly neighborhood barber,

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Dear Birthday.

Dear Birthday,

I don't know who decided all birthdays have to be celebrated with cake. I don't like sweets and I don't want a fucking cake today. I'll be happy with a basket of tomatoes, even if they have candles stuck in them..

Sincerely, changing the rules of the birthday "cake",

P.S. I'm the birthday boy today. Deal with it.