I'm more or less interested in anything dealing with Itachi but I get interested easily with any manga/anime
I'm not much to talk about an amateur artist trying to put up art for people to see as well as fan art. I hope you like this world I'm probably just do journal entries and compare things in life with some in anime/manga

(No Title)

Always something
Never nothing.

To this day...
I never know why I can't help a friend from falling.

I can't help them from giving up.
I can't help them see I'm hurting for them.

I want to help them.
They help me.
I was saved from me by them.

I was in darkness because of things said and done to me.
I know the pain I felt.
I know the crap I had to take.

I was there to help you....I always am here to help you....
You won't listen to me.
I want to hurt you but I can't...
Thats not me.
I want to yell at you
but I care to much...
My caring holds me back from doing anything to harm you.

I know...the limits of helping someone.
I know its hold out your hand...
And if they reach for it ok...
If not...what more can you do.

I hate that...the fact if they don't accept the help...the fact they are hurting and won't let help come to them even when it staring them in the face....

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it with a passion.

I can't hate you.
I can't hurt you.
If I do hurt you I always apologize..not in a day... no right on the spot.... seconds later and I am already apologizing for what I done to hurt you.

I'm to caring and it leads me to always falling.
I care to the point... I fall hurt.... sick or worse just to see that you forgive me. To know that you don't hate me....
Pathetic ?
I think so.
Hell I myself pathetic for not being able to get it through my head 'you can help all you want but you still can't help them to the point they actually make it out their situation happy and unharmed'

Maybe I should care... but not give a hand... or care... and give a hand...knowing they won't take it... and will brush it off like nothing....

Maybe... I am just to caring.
I am just pathetic.

Caring... I can't just ignore you...
Caring... I can't just act like I don't see you hurting...

I am caring... to where... I would die for you.

I fight by you.
Laugh by you.
Cry by you.

But why does it seem it means nothing to certain people.
And to others it does.

Maybe going back to hating and not caring wouldn't be such a bad thing.... but it is... for me....

What am I suppose to do.....

(no title)

Why is hell...a place that sounds... no...not sounds...
Hell is a place made for suffering and made for the damn.
Yet....here....
In a place called Earth.
A place known as land....
Has a bit of its own hell.
The things heard.
The things said.
The things I see.....

Why is it hell.... is a bit like this?
Pain.
Misery
Agony
Torture
Kills
murder
lies
death
suicide
all that stuff those negative things.

not one day can be ok
or good
or fine
no....it has to have a bit of bad in there.

You can bounce back from it....but there is always bad in life.
Something goes wrong.
It has to weather you want it to or not.
All that....
all these things...
is hell to me already.
Hell is described...as the place of torture... but here....

this is my bit of hell.
Not as bad but still bad.
Not one day can i go without seeing a friends hurt.
A friend in tears
A friend who is depressed
A friend who cries for me if I go and hurt myself
A friend who begs me to be safe.

A day....to be happy for one day....
no pain
no hurt
no disappointment

A day like that.
Just one.
To live life happy just a day...
be a dream.

But the hell I see before me...
Is nothing like the hell described by many

Is hell.... anything anymore? To fear hell sure. But to think...it can be anything worse... I don't know anymore...

Unbreakable Habit

Yes...

A habit I thought I could lose...
Hitting walls.
MAking myself bleed.
The sight of my pain...
I need it.

I tried to end this.
But I can't.
I need it.

With all the hate given to me by others.
The words said to me "Go Die"

Makes me think...
Die...
Pain...
What do you really want me to do?

even better the person who told me to go die...
I jumped to a lake close by and smiled...
You want me to die...I can jump now...here and drown.

He looked at me crazy and said you're insane
I looked to him and said "You wanted me to die...now im insane for wanting to do it?"

A habit...

Letting myself hurt....
Letting myself feel the pain of others.
The habit of doing pain towards myself...

The habit of seeing my blood run down my own hands...
The sight...
Tears...
Not of pain..
But of sadness...

My Habit I can never break
No matter what.
Or how.

this habit is mine to take...
If I kill this habit...
If I end this habit
Will I find my peace..
The thing I want most.
Peace of mind.
Not hating myself.
Not hating the fact I am weak at heart.
The fact I care to much to where I would actually die....

My habit...can break me...instead of me breaking it....

The Puzzled Mind

Ever had that thought...
You thought one thing....
And next thing you know...
Everything you thought to be true...
Was a lie?

That you thinking doing something would go good
Instead it came out bad?

Every became more and more puzzled after that?

So many things can do this to us.
The mind takes in whatever it thinks...

It can have the right ideas and the wrong ideas.
Do you know if your mind is puzzled?

Do you think you know what is to be done?
Or do you know for sure that what you're about to do is right at all?

things happen.
Most happen because you let them happen.

Its us who causes pain to ourselves and others.
Is this a lie?

To me...its not.
Puzzling?
Shouldn't be.

To have things puzzle the mind mean it just shocked...confused maybe....
Things tend to fill our minds.
Make us wonder.
Don't make them puzzle your mind for to long.

You may never know...
If it can break you.

Back with the Forgotten things....

So this is it....
Where I leave all the things.
The Things I wish to forget...

The things I have done wrong.
The things I regret the most.
The deepest,darkest part, of my heart and mind....

How did I..
Why did I...
I remember....

So this is where it all lies...
My anger.
My frustrations.
All of them huddled in the darkest parts of my mind and heart....

Somehow I want to forget.
I want to not be here.
But here I am.
Again in the darkness.

So this is it...
The things I think...
The things I thought...

The darkest part....
The darkest.....
So many things...

The problems.
The issues....
The anger...
The words...
The simple things...
The hard things....
All found here......

In the deepest... darkest part of my heart and mind.
So this is where...
This is where I might fall.

Do I want to give up now?
Here?
.....No.
So why am I here?

Right....I let myself come.
I led myself here.
To be with it.
To be with all the things I want to forget...

Maybe it best to let this stuff out...
To not hold it all in.
The more I hold this in...
The anger, pain, frustrations, all of it...
Im a fall. And I will break.
I might as well stay.

Be with the forgotten things.
Maybe I can forget...about me.
The me before.
The me now.
The me that hated.
And the me that cares.....
Back with the Forgotten things.......