The women that Lelouch Lamperouge loved and depended on were always the ones that slipped away from him.
It began with the murder of his mother, Marianne. She was the pillar in his and his sister's lives, the guiding light through the darkness of the vast imperial family. There were a hundred and eight consorts to the emperor, each likely having her own children; it was easy to forget who was who and what was what without his beloved mother to point out to him that Cornelia wasn't the same as Guinevere was, and that Euphemia and Carline were different, as well.
All of his sisters bore their father's eyes, and all were so easy to become lost in.
The murder of Marianne Vi Britannia was the moment that Lelouch formed a shell around himself, fragile as that of an egg.
It was when he met that woman and was granted the power of Geass that his shell broke, and Zero emerged from the slumber of seventeen years, the revolutionary chick.
He had risen to great power with that alias and that eye, and the small black sheep, exiled from its herd, began to reunite with its white-wooled siblings. Clovis. Cornelia. Schneizel. Euphemia.
Sweet, sweet, Euphemia. The woman who had been the first to make his stomach turn with her vibrant smile, to make a blush rise upon his cheeks. The first juvenile love that he held in his heart. The Third Princess turned Sub-Viceroy turned "traitorous murderer." If not for the curse inflicted by that woman, he would not have accidentally given her that command to kill the Japanese. With that turn, he did not just lose Euphemia, his first love, his half-sister. He also lost Nina and Suzaku.
Suzaku.
Suzaku, who had confronted him in mourning. Suzaku, who had cornered him with the intention of avenging Euphemia, the Princess for whom he was a Knight. Suzaku, who had fired the shot that drew forth Zero's true identity. Suzaku, who, despite Lelouch having been his best friend of so many, many years, shot him. Suzaku, who turned him in to the Emperor himself. Suzaku, who watched the Emperor bury Lelouch's memories deep in his subconscious and fill his mind with hypnotic lies.
Suzaku, who had betrayed his best friend for the memory of his lover.
When Lelouch had woken from the solemn slumber that the amnesia had provided, he found that the most important person in the world had been taken away. Nunnally. The baby sister that he was going to give the world. His motivation, Zero's motivation. The tiny bird, too broken to fly, but with enough spunk to sing as loud and long as it could.
When Nunnally had been crippled in Marianne's murder, Lelouch had vowed then and there to make the world a better place so that when Nunnally could see again, with those eyes that had been broken by the Britannia that tortured them so. She was Lelouch's weakness.
And when the Emperor had seen that, he took Nunnally and appointed her the Viceroy of Area 11. He made Nunnally, the one person that Lelouch could not win against, a prime enemy.
And then there was Shirley. Sweet, sweet, Shirley Fenette, who had fallen in love with Lelouch not once, but thrice. Even after finding he was the Zero who was responsible for her father's death. Even after finding out again. And then a third time, with the Geass-canceler's effects.
"I'm sure that, even when I'm reborn as a whole new person, I'll fall in love with you again."
She had whispered that with her dying breaths, blood spilling from her abdomen and onto the marble floors of the mall, which had been evacuated some minutes before. It had been because she had said that name, Nunnally, to the person who hated that name most, who hated that person most, who just happened to have a gun in his hand.
He had realized too late, each and every time, how much he loved the women that had been so wronged.
Marianne. Euphemia. Nunnally. Shirley.
How Lelouch had loved them all.
