I've worked hard and invested so much time in these words. They are me. The me I would never let anyone see. These words have helped me get through the darkest pits of Hell and come back with only the slightest remnant of injury.
With that said please enjoy what you find
I thought we'd take a break from the usual prose and take a little time to discuss the technique of similes and metaphors. For those who do not know, a simile is the use of "like" or "as" to describe something. For example, "His eyes were as blue as the sea" or "His eyes were like the sea." Metaphors on the other hand, describe things a tad more intimate and without the use of "like" or "as." For example, "His eyes were the sea." This is stronger than using "like" or "as." Furthermore, it could imply that his eyes are as deep, mysterious, or captivating as the sea. This level of conviction is usually not found in a simile.
Now, for the young poet just begining to write the simile is like bread and butter. They are easy to use, provide many views on an object, and serve to adequetly describe whatever needs description. Take this poem for example.
Hapenstance
When you appeared it was as if
magnets cleared the air.
I had never seen that smile before
or your hair, flying silver. Someone
waving goodbye, she was silver too.
Of course you didnt see me.
i called softly so you could choose
not to answer-then called again.
You turned in the light, your eyes
seeking your name.
~Rita Dove~
The first sentence is obviously the simile. "When you appeared it was as if magnets cleared the air." A very good piece of work. This seems to say that seeing the person in question (i've never been sure if its a man or woman the narrator sees) has cleared their vision from clutter or has made them see only the person they see. Most young writers will be able to manufacture something similar to this, however they will not see the ambiguity of what they write. It is important to know what you mean, but also to leave it open to interpretation for the reader, much like an ink blot.
The metaphor often presents a challenge. With a simile a writer simply used "like" or "as" which gives relative freedom. Now when trying to write the metaphor, stripped of those old reliable words you feel restrained. Here is a good example of a metaphor.
The Look
Strephon kissed me in the spring,
Robin in the fall,
But Colin only looked at me
And never kissed at all.
Strephon's kiss was lost in jest,
Robin's lost in play,
But the kiss in Colin's eyes
Haunts me night and day.
~Sara Teasdale~
"But the kiss in Colin's eyes haunts me night and day." What a chilling line. It says that Colin was literaly (literaly here meaning as used in literature) kissing her with his eyes, his love for her was in his eyes. If she had said his look was like a kiss or some such nonsense it would lose the power and leverage, for it would be a comparasion instead of something concrete.
Well, thats all I have to say on this particular matter. Similes and Metaphors are tried and true methods of poetry, and usually work when used properly. That said there is such a thing as overkill. Notice that these two works used only one Simile/Metaphor. Of course it depends on what you write, but one will usually suffice.
The one good thing that comes from being near to komito jisatsu is it leads to some damn good writing (if i may say so myself)
I wear my heart where everyone can see
I’m so confident I wear it on my sleeve
But unfortunately
This makes it easy for you to squeeze
I’d put it away but I just can’t stand being so unfeeling it’s just not how to live
Have you ever felt the sting being left behind
Trust me honey it really ain’t something fine
Those wounds, they don’t ever go away
And time, how it makes everything ok
Honey that’s a lie don’t never ever believe.
I’ve got so many open holes it’s a wonder I can bleed
And what about I Love You?
Like that ever meant a thing
Sorry baby its all lies, and now its time for you to sing.
How many times will you get up
Before you realize it’s better to stay down
What’s that about never giving up
Haven’t you heard no one really gives a fuck.
No, no one cares and is it really a surprise.
Forget everything
Move on without a backward glance
Tried so hard to save the day
But everything still fell apart
Where do I go
When I no longer know
No longer know exactly what's right
Everything we knew was lost at sea
And it's sinking to the depths where no light can reach
I am not to blame
I gave it my all
No one can say any different
Not even that
God you love so much
Forget everyone
Why should it even matter
When they never ever gave a shit
Tried so hard to show them you cared
But they spat back in your face
Still you tried
Nearly lost your life
And as you laid down bleeding
You could finally see
You're the one to blame
You're too afraid
Don't disagree
Everyone one
Knows you're
as blind as me
Forget the light
It was to bright to live in
Everyone else is in the dark
But even so I know
That
Waking up to see nothing
Is a sight I'll never
Be used to seeing
We are all to blame
I tried to hard
But forgot to push you along
You were to afraid
Hid in the dark
And now we see the cost of our mistakes
Forget the light
Forget about sight
It's better to see nothing than remember seeing
Forget everyone
Forget everything
Nothing really matter when you're asleep and dreaming
These two poems are very dear to me. The first helped me realize that life a soldier/warrior isnt the glorious life I thought it was. Its painful, and harsh. The second is the purest thing i have ever written. Everything in it was taken from my thoughts and emotions. Usually when I write i write as a third party observer, even when in first person. Enjoy.
Life At The Blade
Like the blade at my side,
I've been tried by fire.
Through shadow and blood,
I've come out alive.
But victory is so hollow.
My only companion is this blade.
My home is the battlefield.
My life deals in death.
Why live such a life?
Like ashes they fall.
A father
A lover
A brother
All at my hands
Reaper
Cant stop loving you
And i'm wasteing away.
Fadeing to nothing
Slowly decaying
From the inside out.
My blackened heart crumbles.
With every kiss a little more dies.
You've sealed my soul
with every glance.
stolen from me.
locked away.
cant go on.
my blood is ash
my bones are dust.
and finally,
you love me back.
you love my husk.
empty of life.
you love the stilness of my heart.
your in love with death.
no wonder i died.
Death isnt the end. It is simply another beginning
~Unknown~
This depends on what you belive. I belive there is a Heaven and there is a Hell. You may belive the same thing, you might not. We'll find out soon. Some sooner than others.
Memento Mori
Death Will Come.
We all die.
And our souls?
Scattered. Distorted.
Banished to infinite
Gloom.
Cancer
I am a demon.
A shadow slaying from within.
Your untimely end.
Sub-Artic
Ice, snow, freezing cold.
I'll die here alone.
Freezing in the cold.
(i have to get the crappy stuff out've the way before the good stuff comes. good stuff next time)
