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'Signed By No One'. A fan fiction for Xiaolyn Showdown, mostly about Jack Spicer along with an OC called Chaos. Anyway, long story short, I only got to chap 4 and stopped. But I really want to start it again when I get the 'Rolling Home' and 'Secrets, scars and Shotguns'. I might even start a Death Note one.

The reason for the title of this is post is this; I never finish my fan fictions unless I am really really determined too. This is somewhat of a rut for me as well as a habit. I continually stop and restart fan fictions or indeed novels.
But the novel I have going at the moment I am determined to finish - even if I have to torture myself to do it (!.

On another more incouraging note, I'm going to post the rest of my 'Secrets, Scars and Shotguns' up and I'll hope that it some how gets even 1 comment.


Obsession = Insanity

I started something I knew could only end in a spiral of endless obsession, such as my obsession with 'Supernatural' and planning my own suicide. I have started reading and watching Death note.

Now there is nothing wrong with this, in fact it pulls me out of endless writers block and gives me something to think about in school. While the teacher talks about Robert Frost, I think about how shiny and black L's hair is or how Light would look on top of L (Yes, I am one of many Yaoi fans out there, do not judge me). Misa has been doodled upon my Poetry book on numerous occasions and upon my french grammer, Ryuk and Rem dominate the cover.

As if this wasn't bad enough, today as I was looking through the school library, a leather backed book caught my eye in the classical section. It was placed between Wuthering Heights and a Thomas Hardy novel. Cocking my head to the side in confusion, I reached forward and carefully yanked it free from the smothering bulk of its neighbours. For a moment, pure excitement pulsed in my veins.Is it possible? Have I found a Death Note? I thought. Yes, this was my first reaction and I now realise, that perhaps I have a problem. But none the less, I opened it slowly, my eyes widening as it slowly revealed its pages to me. My heart sank a mile, and I swear I felt it crack a little, as I read the bold gothic font of Dracula . Crestfallen, I replaced it between the two other novels; their many pages could do with it what they wished.

Damn you Bram Stoker I spat, my voice lowered to a whisper as not to draw attention to myself. I retreated from the library, leaving without my sanity and happiness. They are both still hovering over the shelves in the library, perhaps I'll retrieve them tomorrow? But anyway, I wondered to my locker (which is actually directly opposite the library) and took my books from it's metal interior.
You mindless fool! A Death note....REALLY?! I cursed my self for being so stupid, You must stop this now. Before it gets worse, before it consumes your life. Before you start seeing it everywhere. They should put you in rehab. The urge to slam my head off the locker door was over whelming, but I resisted and instead went back to class.