Prequal? to 24

Black and white has never been me so I painted the walls white and myself black. After I finished the project I left the white room and entered the grey one, in which I proceeded to paint myself purple.
Now I was enjoying this activity but alas all things must come to an end.
Reina came along with her Colonel approved machette and chased me down Memory Lane.
While in Memory Lane I visited the car park where I found Marvin paring carks. While he was parking the cars he found my 1970 chevy and handed it over. Now I was on a mission. A mission from god.
God had told me that I need to find and secure three radio transmitters for use in the holy war festival, of which I was a council member. So I went to the academy of lillies and talked to Yumi who gave me the barley tea for my grandma's birthday.
Tea in hand I arrive at grandma's house where the wolf handed over the radios. But not without a fight. And oh what a fight it was. Limbs and eyeballs everywhere.
So I hightail it back to Jesus headquarters and give the radios to the mac-daddy god and we thought all was well. But it wasn't.
Over the intercom we heard the announcement that the pool was closed due to AIDS and this got our blood boiling. How could they? Why now of all times. Those damn black suits.
We grab our weapons all Matrix style and head out into the forum. God on my left and The Holy Ghost on my right. Jesus held up the rear with his vampire squad.
We weren't going to lose. We entered the pool guns a blazing. Every Smith in the area was now just a pile of data holes. While me and God did one last sweep of the area, The Holy Ghost checked the pool. It wasn't AIDS in the pool but the Q-virus.
Damn that Q. He always messes up our plans.
So now we knew what we had to do; find and destroy the Enterprise.
God being the spinster he is, coaxed the Yakuza into helping us out for the small price of a years worth of blessings. With them on our side the Seaquest won't be able to hinder the mission.
So there we were, the five of us: Me, God, the Holy Ghost, Jesus, and Judus (Had recently come out of hiding). We were going to do it, this was the last stand.
We grab our remaining pokeballs and enter the continuum. It was Deliverance all over again. We couldn't stop the banjoes and we were quickly over taken.
I woke up in a prison cell made of jello and it took me days to eat my way out. Somewhere out there was the rest of the gang, that was if they were alive. My hopes were dim.
So I played my Jast card and asked the Little Sister to give me a HHand.
She quickly seduced the guard so I could infiltrate Nerv HQ to spring my possie.
With in minutes of my breaking down the holding cell door, Shinji came speeding by in a retreat like fashion.
As I was bringing God around from his slumber I got word that Litter Sister had been raped to death by petrolling allegators. I had a moment of silence and reset the game. She soon rushed into the cell and helped carry The Holy Ghost, who had been badly injured, out.
We barely made it to the surface alive. But oh what relief we felt as we drove off.
This won't be the end, it just can't be. We will take Q and his AIDS friends down. But we must rest today for tomorrow we must journey to the Highlander and obtain the Sword of Valis.

End