Seymour's Nightmare: "I'm Eating You Up Alive!"

A Little Shop of Horrors OneShot I wrote for

I do not own Little Shop of Horrors. If I did, Audrey II would take over the world. The only thing I own in this story is the new song I created called "I'm Eating You Up Alive". It is sung by the Audrey II. Rated T for Twoey's cursing.

A/N: I don't want to argue about Twoey's gender even though my friends and I agree that Twoey's a male. So in this story, Audrey II is genderless to make it fair.


Italics= Dream Sequence

Bold= Audrey II singing


"Feed me!" A deep, demonic voice called out as the thunder crashed and lightning flashed, "Food! Food!" Seymour Krelborn scratched his head in annoyance.

"Lay off, Twoey. Can't you see I'm busy?" He said. The deep voice belonged to a giant fly trap. It was starting to wilt and was dragging on the floor.

"Tough…" Twoey muttered. Its nerdy owner heard that.

"Twoey, Watch your language!"

"Grub!!!" The 12-foot tall flytrap groaned in hunger. It was very hungry and it couldn't wait another second for its supper.

"I need some peace and quiet, Audrey II," Seymour retorted, "I have to write a speech for a lecturing tour. It's all about YOU! So you better be quiet, or I tell everyone the truth!" Audrey II pointed a vine and poked Seymour's chest.

"Don't get cute with me, boy! I made ya and I can break ya!"

"Go ahead and break me! You think it's EASY living with the guilt?" The dark-haired human argued with the green vegetable.

"Aw, cut the crap and bring on the meat!" Twoey almost sobbed.

"If you would only EAT meat!" Seymour put down his clipboard, "You could've eaten a little mouse or a little fly but NO! YOU had to be soooo particular…" Audrey II tried to convince Seymour to feed it by doing the old puppy-face gag.

"Come on, Krelborn, feed me! I hadn't eaten since Mushnik and THAT was a week ago!!!" The plant complained.

"I just need one more day, that's all I ask," The nerd hero said quietly, "Tomorrow, Life Magazine will take our pictures…"

"-and then you will find me somebody?" Audrey II perked up.

"Then you'll never go hungry again, I promise." He sighed. The plant got excited and started to torment the confused boy even more.

"CHOWTIME, KRELBORN! Food, food, bring me food!" Twoey repeated until Seymour yelled at its pod.

"Shut up! Shut up, you damned avocado! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Seymour wailed before he was knocked out from confusion and yelling.

~Seymour's Dream~

Seymour kept his promise with Audrey II… well almost. Sure, he fed Twoey a LOT, but Audrey II wanted more. Seymour noticed that as his plant grew, so did its appetite. Before long, the plant had to be chained up to a dark alley next to Mushnik & Son's Flower Shop.

"Is this necessary, Seymo'?" Twoey asked in a low whisper. It had to because if it talked normally, its voice would be too loud for Seymour Krelborn.

"Of course. We don't want the customers to be hurt, don't we?" He asked.

"Guess not…" Twoey then noticed Seymour having a tuxedo and a tie on, "Why are you all dressed up like that?"

"I'm going to a meeting uptown." He started to leave, "I'll come back soon. Maybe I'll rob a blood bank." Seymour laughed and left the shop. What he said was WAY far from the truth! Krelborn decided to leave the plant, let it starve to death, marry Audrey Fulquard, and make a hit-and-run to the Suburbs. Twoey didn't realize this until three days AFTER Seymour married Audrey. It was angry and decided to escape. It began to sing.

Look at that, folks
Seymo' looks like a tasty snack
Get outta my way,
I'm ready to ATTACK!

At the word "attack", Audrey II broke its chains in half. It then try to "stand" up. Twoey was exactly 100 feet tall. It didn't need Seymour to go kill for its supper. It started to rampage on Skid Row.

Hey boy!
You shouldn't have taken the dive
Better watch out!
I'm eatin' you up alive!

Ya gonna get it baby
There's no way you're gonna jive
Don't struggle, little man
I'll eat you up alive!

After a long search and some rest stops to eat a few humans along the way, Audrey II finally managed to find the suburbs, where the Krelborn's lived. Meanwhile, Seymour never felt so happier in his life at this moment. He was glad that the plant was assumed to be dead and his beautiful flower, Audrey, would be with him forever. Everything changed when Audrey asked him a question. Actually multiple questions.

"Seymour, what happened to Mr. Mushnik and Orin? Where's the plant? How come you have been acting funny?" The blonde girl asked. Before Seymour could answer, something ripped off the roof of the house. It was Audrey II.

"Hello, Seymo'!" Twoey said very loudly. It was very HUGE. Audrey couldn't believe that the plant talked. Audrey II seemed to read Audrey's thoughts as it smiled down at the married couple.

"Believe it, baby… it talks…"

"Am I dreaming this?"

"Naw and you ain't in Kansas neither!" It showed Audrey a lot of its sharp, long teeth. Audrey fainted at the sight of it. Seymour first instinct was to run away, but he wanted to protect her against this homicidal flower. Twoey began to wrap its vines on Seymour.

"Don't struggle boy, it's SUPPERTIME!" Seymour grew to hate that flytrap's words. Audrey II lifted up our tiny hero and seemed to glare at the human who abandoned it.

Oh don't you see baby,
Seymo', ooh Seymo'

"Bye, bye, Seymo!" Twoey chuckled menacingly before it shoved Seymour in its "throat", swallowed him whole with a sickening slurp, and then burping up a shoe and Seymour's glasses… Looks like Audrey might not see Seymour when she goes "Somewhere that's Green".

~End of Seymour's Dream~

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Seymour yelled and stayed awake from that terrible nightmare.

"Leave me alone, leave me alone!" He screamed. His girlfriend, Audrey, came into the room.

"Seymour, what's the matta' with ya?" She asked.

"No, IT'S the matter with me!" Seymour glared at Twoey. He then started to babble about the plant being hungry or something like that until Audrey slapped Seymour's face.

"Seymour! You're getting hysterical! What's the matter with just a little plant food anyway?" She asked. Seymour saw that Audrey II was trying not to laugh evilly at the question. He fainted again.

The End?