Don't you think it should be "lit up"?^o^' dunno...:3 but lite up as past tense doesn't seem correct to me:3 oh well what do I careXD (whoops that's the 2nd time I said that...:P)
This is going to be good. I saw a few long sentences, but nothing bad. Everything look real clean and the story line holds my interest. I am not really into first person stories, but I will be reading this one.
Actually you are right Angel about the first one...but the eyes thing is right because his eyes light up doesn't sound correct. His eye lite up is correct!!! :D
OMG I was confused when I noticed that Iruka sensei was a woman in this story...XD oh well, what do I care, it's such a great story will you publish it?^^ *puppy eyes* then I can hug and fave:P lol cus it deserves that^____^
mwhahaha evil hokage lady.oo i likey ^^ naruto will provide some truble
BELIVE IT!lol sounds very nice i like the way you word your story lol [i guess that doesent make any sence does it?]
omgsh i love it! i like the part where it says 'a nice pair of....BAM!!' lol love it! and the first mission that she did for Lady Hokage lol wow you do have a talent in writing!keep it up!^-^ i can't wait for the next one!
and a nice pair of....BLAM!
Thats grand lol. You did a great job with the descriptions and there's not too much dialogue either. I love the way you portrayed Iruka and you changed him into a girl. Nice idea. I really like Iruka's personality too. The way she can be all serious-like then just change and be all AWW HELL NAW FOOL! Like.
Really great I'll be waiting for chapter 2!
I must say,I really liked the story.The change of Iruka into a femenine figure and you telling the story as Iruka was a good touch.I even imagined a comic coming out from this story,and maybe a good proyect we could do in teamwork .Yeah it´s been so long I dont do something with Iru after all.Well u had some little mistakes,hope you can fix them.Just re-read the story,because this one is a great one.
Ooohh! Interesting fanfiction thingy you have there IrukaSensei. What makes it really interesting though is that rather than telling it from a 3rd person's point of view you changed it to a 1st person's point of view. That's some fine and fancy writing skills you got there sensei. Can't wait for chapter 2!
halcyonlegendia
Title: Otakuite | Posted 11/08/08 | Reply
What about Kurenai?
cheetahgirlz9
Title: Otakuite+ | Posted 09/29/08 | Reply
lol that is good keep it up ^_^
lili miss anime
Title: Otakuite+ | Posted 09/21/08 | Reply
hi Kakashi951
lili miss anime
Title: Otakuite+ | Posted 09/21/08 | Reply
hi again its so good i love fanfic your awsome at it
Last edited by lili miss anime at 8:34:42 PM EDT on September 20, 2008.
tails genius93
Title: Otakuite | Posted 09/01/08 | Reply
hey iruka sensei im making a story about us as friends come comment it
Kakashi951
Title: Otakuite+ | Posted 08/31/08 | Reply
Wow awsome story
imouto chan
Title: Otakuite+ | Posted 07/02/08 | Reply
Awesome! When does chapter 2 come out? ^_^
Stixx
Title: Senior Otaku | Posted 07/01/08 | Reply
Wow!! I'm so excited to read the next chapter! Please update soon!
SaxGirl
Title: Senior Otaku | Posted 06/30/08 | Reply
@Iruka Sensei:
Don't you think it should be "lit up"?^o^' dunno...:3 but lite up as past tense doesn't seem correct to me:3 oh well what do I careXD (whoops that's the 2nd time I said that...:P)
I still think the story is great!^^
~SG
kitabug69
Title: Senior Otaku | Posted 06/30/08 | Reply
This is going to be good. I saw a few long sentences, but nothing bad. Everything look real clean and the story line holds my interest. I am not really into first person stories, but I will be reading this one.
Great job Iruka... keep it up.
Later,
Kita
Iruka Sensei
Title: Otaku Legend | Posted 06/30/08 | Reply
@AngelBest Dream:
Actually you are right Angel about the first one...but the eyes thing is right because his eyes light up doesn't sound correct. His eye lite up is correct!!! :D
Iruka Sensei
Title: Otaku Legend | Posted 06/30/08 | Reply
@SaxGirl:
I am trying to publish it hehehe I hope it gets in :D
SaxGirl
Title: Senior Otaku | Posted 06/29/08 | Reply
wow awesome-ness!
OMG I was confused when I noticed that Iruka sensei was a woman in this story...XD oh well, what do I care, it's such a great story
will you publish it?^^ *puppy eyes* then I can hug and fave:P lol cus it deserves that^____^
I can't wait to see more
~SG
red kie
Title: Senior Otaku | Posted 06/29/08 | Reply
mwhahaha evil hokage lady.oo i likey ^^ naruto will provide some truble
~soul ryuki~<3~enemy of the abyss~BELIVE IT!lol sounds very nice i like the way you word your story lol [i guess that doesent make any sence does it?]
pau7
Title: Senior Otaku | Posted 06/29/08 | Reply
omgsh i love it! i like the part where it says 'a nice pair of....BAM!!' lol love it! and the first mission that she did for Lady Hokage lol wow you do have a talent in writing!keep it up!^-^ i can't wait for the next one!
AngelBest Dream
Title: Otaku Legend | Posted 06/29/08 | Reply
@Iruka Sensei:
KK dont worry Iru I shall make ur story better:
To bad for him I am smarter then that
Hummmm I think it should be than that.
And this one Im not 100% sure,but maybe you wrote lite instead of light.Still I like how u wrote lite it´s like funny :3.
Well thats all :3.
No not my feather again lol.
Angel
arcticwulf
Title: Senior Otaku | Posted 06/29/08 | Reply
and a nice pair of....BLAM!
Thats grand lol. You did a great job with the descriptions and there's not too much dialogue either. I love the way you portrayed Iruka and you changed him into a girl. Nice idea. I really like Iruka's personality too. The way she can be all serious-like then just change and be all AWW HELL NAW FOOL! Like.
Really great I'll be waiting for chapter 2!
Iruka Sensei
Title: Otaku Legend | Posted 06/29/08 | Reply
@AngelBest Dream:
what mistakes??? Tell me NOW BEFORE I HUNT YOU DOWN ANGEL AND I PULL YOUR F****** WINGS!!! LMFAO!!!!
AngelBest Dream
Title: Otaku Legend | Posted 06/29/08 | Reply
I must say,I really liked the story.The change of Iruka into a femenine figure and you telling the story as Iruka was a good touch.I even imagined a comic coming out from this story,and maybe a good proyect we could do in teamwork .Yeah it´s been so long I dont do something with Iru after all.Well u had some little mistakes,hope you can fix them.Just re-read the story,because this one is a great one.
Angel
LunaLei
Title: Senior Otaku | Posted 06/29/08 | Reply
Ooohh! Interesting fanfiction thingy you have there IrukaSensei. What makes it really interesting though is that rather than telling it from a 3rd person's point of view you changed it to a 1st person's point of view. That's some fine and fancy writing skills you got there sensei. Can't wait for chapter 2!