My personal blog world. Called The Labyrinth because life basically is one.

So. Me:

Name: Sara

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Age: 19 as of June 2

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Favorite color: I actually don't know. I like colorful things. Basically I'm like a bird when it comes to colors.

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Favorite numbers: 4, 16, 394.

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Works: Cashier at the dining center/market on my campus. I work with nice people and get free food. It's been good.

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Likes: Reading, writing, receiving compliments, drawing, listening to music, complaining, skiing, making people laugh, Harry Potter, dark chocolate, Ben and Jerry's, changing peoples' computer backgrounds to weird random stuff while they're not looking, epic soundtracks that motivate me.

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Hates: Any sort of stinging insect, that awkward moment when there's an inside joke and I don't get it. Any awkward moment at all, really. Also early-morning exams and 9-hour work shifts.

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Interesting facts: I have color-changing eyes. They go between blue and gray, and I actually have a couple pictures to prove this. I collect fortune cookie fortunes, chapsticks, and paper books, because I'm afraid they may soon go out of print. Also, I recently found out about a rare phenomenon that occurs in some peoples' brains when they hear certain sounds or perceive certain things. It's called ASMR, and it triggers a tingling sensation that spreads from the head to the limbs. I have had this all my life and it's really cool, but I never knew it was an official thing or that it was rare until this year.

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My current obsessions: Jody Mills and just Supernatural in general, dyeing my hair multiple colors so that I feel like a dragon, staying up all night reading the weirdest fanfiction I can find while wondering what I am doing with my life, making sure I eat enough protein, ASOIAF (the show's not half as good as the books and I'll fight you on this, but I'm also obsessed with the soundtrack), any quote by GLaDOS, basically anything about Portal really, creepers from Minecraft, and this Game of Thrones fanvid.

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Favorite Manga/anime: Black Butler by far. Sebastian's been my only anime crush.

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Some stuffs about me: First and foremost, I'm a writer and storyteller. Of all the things that have changed in my life, that's been a constant and I'm pretty sure it always will be. I'm also an artist and a calligrapher. I like to read beyond reason and when I'm into a very good book I won't notice if my current dwelling falls down around me. I'm a passionate skier. I love nature and hope to live in a place with a lot of forests, mountains, or ocean later in life. I'm pretty weird and can also be kinda awkward......yeah. I really like random facts and tidbits of information. Always open to new suggestions about books, anime, manga, TV shows, etc. Always open to talk or just listen to anyone who needs to vent.
And I love bacon. A lot. Probably too much.

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Welcome to the labyrinth that is my life.

Internship!

So my aunt put me in touch with a company in New York City that is going to be giving me an internship over my winter break! In addition to that, I'll be hanging around with my little cousin, who is really cute, and I may put up some pics with her!

I'm so excited. This whole semester's been so tiring, I'm really glad to be getting a break from school soon.

Illness and stuff...

So some things occurred to me today.

I had a history exam this week, and the grades aren’t in, but I don’t think I did well. I’m recovering from a chronic illness that had plagued me for years, and even though I’m feeling a lot better, I was really fucked up for a while and my insides still aren’t always feeling fantastic. On top of that, I got sick with a Something, I don’t even know what it was but it gave me a fever so bad I’ve barely been able to string together two coherent thoughts these past couple days. And this week, of all weeks, was the busy one where everything is due all at once.

I should have asked for extensions, I know I should have. I forced myself to go to work and I forced myself to write my essays and do my homework and take the exam, and I should have taken time to recover, but I was raised with the idea that there were No Excuses and you just have to Push Through It.

And I was thinking to myself that if I got the exam back and I hadn’t done well, I might talk to the professor and ask for some kind of something. I don’t know, a re-do, extra-credit project, something. And I’d say I was so sorry and I’d been sick and I’d just kind of let my life go recently and I know that’s no excuse but…

Which is when it occurred to me that maybe having a chronic illness so bad you can’t eat food is a valid excuse. So is having a fever high enough to get you sent home from work early. Those are valid reasons for things. My boss telling me I could leave work early was totally a surprise, too. Like, my coworkers & my boss were all, Sara, you can barely manage to keep your head up, are you okay? And it’s like, oh, look, people can care about my well-being more than the work they can get out of me.

I’m starting to think the way I was raised was really fucked up.

And the professor might not let me do anything to get back points on the exam, which would suck, but I wouldn’t have to beat myself up for it because I have spent the past few months barely able to eat and yes, that is a reason to not have a handle on things.

Anyway, if anyone’s still reading this ramble, I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on my dash from people who don’t understand why their lives have gotten out of control, why they can’t just get it together, and I just want you all to know, if you’re in that situation, there is a reason and it is valid. Be easy on yourself.

Of course

Of course I got a fever right when three papers were due. Ugh. All I want is to sleep.

Ugh. Computer.

Was just beginning to write again when my computer decided to quit working.

At least I'll have it back by next week though.

Complicated

Little mini-rant here. One of my friends was really horrible to the rest of us all last year. I'm still talking to her, but the others aren't. Now she's trying to turn me against the rest of them. Like, I don't want to have to cut her off but i don't know how long I can maintain this.