Tearing apart the black sky, a bright white new moon shines from the darkest hour. Gently it adorns the tree branches, illuminating the dark forest around me. I huddle in fear, closing me eyes to the noisy pain deep in my heart. Desolation is my only company in this rundown shack I once called home. Like a red fruit being devoured, this faraway village gives little resistance; a rotten, abandoned kingdom nobody will visit again.
The memories of destruction echo inside me, trapping me within my failure.
It was early morning when I found myself awake, covered in a cold sweat. The room was dark, its shadows eating at the silence. Next to me my lover lay still lost in her blissful dream land. My mouth felt dry; I was hungry. Someday, I will consume her. Someday I will lose to the darkness inside of me and destroy everything within her soul. The thought of this was so sickening, yet so very arousing. I knew what kind of ecstasy awaited me when I drained her dry, when she becomes a part of me.
I forced myself from the forbidden thoughts and left the bedroom. I had made my choice all those years ago.
I found little solace in the confines of the bathroom; though I never expected to find any in the first place. I knew what awaited me. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I came face to face with my always smiling reflection. Her thin, stretched skin; her gnarled teeth sharpened to points; her void like eyes staring deep into my fractured soul; her decomposing hair.
Today she seemed even more excited than usual, pointing avidly toward the tub. “Yeah, yeah. I’m looking. I’m looking.” I waved away the look she gave me as I went to investigate the tub. I slid the curtain over, nothing. Just like the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, and so on. My reflection seemed satisfied when I returned to the sink and promptly left so that I could continue with my morning.
I needed to get out of the house, away from my girlfriend before I lost control. Doing my best not to wake her, I changed into my track suit and left for a long needed run. The fall morning air was cold and moist, stinging my face. Or that’s what I’d like to think was happening. I felt nothing, not the cold, not the dew, not even the warmth from the track suit. I was so overwhelmed by my hungry that I barely saw the spots of light created by the street lamps I passed.
In this broken world, stillness is scattered like fallen leaves in a gust of wind. A blue flame surges onward, leading me through the haze of my life. The darkness of the night is burned in an inescapable nightmare. No matter how much I ran, how hard I pushed myself, I could never leave the cage I had built. Why do these chains of sadness never end?
My route took me through alleys, down back roads, away from other people. I couldn’t be around others, not when I was so hungry. There were fleeting moments when I would set it into my mind to continue running until sunrise and just fade away into the light. But I knew that I couldn’t. Giving up was not an option.
I was there when it started. The warnings given to men came one after another. The birds fell from the sky, the trees withered one by one. I even watched as the animals vanished from the forest. It could have ended there. It could have been reversed. But mankind didn’t realize that.
All around me grief downpours, scattering what few good memories I have. I throw myself to the ground, trying to recollect them. Unable to scoop them up, I am petrified as I watch them sink into the ground. Dyed in a lazuli color, the long ivy vines break through the surface. They stretch out, entwining and becoming one with the broken skylight.