Some of you may have wondered about my last post about why I seem to be feeling down.
Well...now I'll tell you. As honest as I'll ever be.
I really want out of my life.
I'm really hating it so much.
Especially from all the stress I'm dealing with right now...
I feel that my heart has become weak and fragile from the past incidents among family and friends.
That "stab in the heart" saying really does pack a huge punch on me now.
It feels like a major throb, then a stab, and it breaking apart.
Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I wonder..."Why could I not die in my sleep? My heart feels extremely heavy. I refuse to accept this... Let me stay asleep, forever..."
(DON'T WORRY. My relationship with Ike-kun is still strong. He's the only one, along with few other, you can heal it.)
I know, I must sound like a spoiled brat, don't I?
Well, that's just one thing I hate about myself that I want out, too...
Can I ask everyone something?
How is THIS piece
Getting more votes than THIS piece?
My guess is "was it because the first picture was submitted into a challenge and people took a look at the entries and saw it?"
I'm okay with that, but the thing is THIS PICTURE was kind of SLACKED OFF. And RUSHED.
I was also only testing the Hypercam to see if I could make it record at a faster pace.
It was one of my first submissions to a challenge as well. I've never done a challenge until Tsu-chan's.
Now my second picture, I've worked really hard on.
I've practically left that thing uncolored on my laptop for three weeks and decided to color it in one day for about 4-6 hours.
Even while slightly lagging through Hypercam!
In short, I would pretty much appreciate it if the "hard-worked" one had more votes than the one I submitted to the challenge.
You have no idea how much I love that one...
~Nadeshiko Masayume
