The First Time...

Sayu felt her eyes tug towards her watch again. Matsuda was running late. Unless he had simply chosen not to show? She tapped her foot nervously, tugging on a strand of loose hair. After waiting another five minutes, she pulled herself to her feet and began to walk away, burying her hands in her pockets as she went. It was only September but the cold was already biting at her through her jacket, and it stung the tear tracks where they ran.

Matsuda hovered anxiously across the road. He had watched Sayu as she sat, deathly still, unable to move. How could he sit with her, talk to her, laugh with her? He couldn’t; not when he had…The memory of that fateful day was running in his head again. Light’s tortured face had never been far from his mind, but seeing the similarities in Sayu made it stronger than ever before.

The argument in Matsuda’s head was raging fiercely, and he didn’t notice that he had started walking. Matsuda was perhaps ten feet behind Sayu when he finally realised that he was no longer stood still, his eyes fixated on the back of her head. He blushed and pushed his eyes down to the floor. That was when he noticed the glistening, wet droplets dotting the pavement. “Sayu!” he called desperately, but at that moment a strong wind pulled his speech away. His footsteps sped up and he caught her shoulder. “Sayu…” he breathed.

Sayu jumped at the warm touch on her shoulder. She turned slowly, the bitter wind teasing her hair out behind her and tugging her tears away. When she recognised the sheepish expressions of the man behind her, the paleness in her face dissipated quickly into a violent blush and she forced the final tears out of her eyes. “…Matsuda.” Her voice was weak, as was the nod that accompanied his name.

Noticing her attempt to hide her crying from him, Matsuda acted as though he had not noticed. “I’m sorry…” he said, his voice still foggy. “I didn’t mean…I apologise…I’m sorry I was late.” He cursed his ineloquence inwardly, and jumped when Sayu giggled. “It’s okay,” she laughed, her voice light and tinkling.

Sayu watched Matsuda getting more flustered and couldn’t hold back another chuckle. “Shall we…get a drink?” she asked politely, and he accepted with a silent nod, afraid he would embarrass himself again if he were to speak. They went to a nearby café and had coffee together, but only ever made small talk. Matsuda couldn’t get over his shyness, and Sayu couldn’t accept that she was on a date…much less that she was on a date with Matsuda.

Even though the two of them had not shared many words, they felt infinitely more comfortable together as they left the coffee shop. Sayu walked next to Matsuda, willing herself to take his hand. She took her hand out of her pocket very slowly, reached towards his hand – which was dangling uselessly by his side…She was just about to take his hand when a sharp gust of wind made her shiver. Noticing this, Matsuda slipped his arm around her shoulders easily, and she smiled gratefully at him.

Matsuda marvelled at the grace with which he had put his arm around her, but felt a definitely ungraceful blush spread over his cheeks again. He wanted to say something, but the words were lost on the way out.

“…Well, I had better go in then.” Sayu was disappointed that they had reached her house already; the silent walk here had been comforting and warm. Matsuda was disappointed, too…he hadn’t managed to express himself, and now she wouldn’t want to see him again. Sayu hung near him for a minute, and then nodded before stepping up to her front door.

“Wait.” Matsuda’s voice had suddenly become commanding, and Sayu had to pull back another laugh as she turned to face him once more, her eyebrows raised curiously. Matsuda was suddenly overcome by shyness again. “I…” Surveying her soft features, he finally realised how unlike she and Light really were. He had never had her wide, innocent eyes; her perfectly pale skin so prone to a cute, gentle blush; her soft hair that gently bounced down to her shoulders, framing her face. Everything about her was gentle, soft, innocent, whereas Light had become harsh and cruel and cunning.

Matsuda urged himself to say something; give his fragile feelings form. He saw Sayu bite her lip anxiously, and he knew she would not wait for long. “Would…would you…would you see me again?” The words had rushed out, tripping over each other, and he was certain she could not have understood.

Sayu had been worried about Matsuda’s next words, but at his question, a slow smile gradually stretched across her face. She walked up to him slowly, looking into his hazel eyes and feeling an inexplicable tug in her heart. Stretching up, she whispered in his ear, “I’d love to.” A goofy grin broke out on Matsuda’s face then, and he stroked her hand clumsily. “Shall we say…next Sunday, ten o’clock, meet here?” Sayu asked, knowing that she would need to be the level-headed one. Matsuda nodded, and she skipped back to her door. As she turned her key in the lock, she looked at him one last time and blew him a kiss.

Sayu flew up the stairs and locked herself in her room before sinking down onto her bed, still smiling. The guilt she had first felt about dating Matsuda had disappeared completely; those precious few hours had been totally Light-free.

Matsuda watched Sayu go inside, knowing that a soppy grin was still plastered on his face. A twitch at the window drew his eyes, and he could have sworn he saw Soichiro’s stern face gazing out at him. But even that couldn’t spoil his sky-high mood, and he wobbled down the road, still caught up in Sayu’s stunning eyes and beautiful smile.

End