Blughglhggh my mood has been absolutely terrible ever since my short story draft got critiqued. Honestly getting my critique from the class was really really helpful, and now I know what I need to include in order for my story to work a bit better... but I just have no idea how to incorporate the necessary information into the story and IT'S STRESSING ME OUT!!! Save me.... from this agony ughslghsdg...........
The more I think about it, though, the more I really wish I chose a different set of characters for the story. Idk if I mentioned, but I'm writing about Lafayette and Dmitri when they were kids. Gender's kind of been a central point of the conflict, but I was really hoping I wouldn't have to write about gender because even though gender is something relevant to who Laf is as a person, I don't want that to be the crutch of his story.
This is actually why I avoided making "coming out" stuff happen in Nerdy and Jock, and also more or less why I've stopped A Life Like This. A Life Like This was really a coming out story for both Rick (mostly Rick) and Tim. It also was going to have bullying in it, where Rick would be bullied for being gay. But now that gay rights issues are being addressed and normalized, having Rick be bullied to the extent he would be, and having Tim be so paranoid about coming out as bi the way I planned, would be pretty anachronistic. I also don't want to write a preachy story anymore that rides solely on themes like "DON'T BULLY GAY KIDS!" and "DON'T BE AFRAID TO COME OUT!!!" because if that's what I'm going to rely on, I risk losing depth of character. I think the lack of depth really shows with Rick--really all he was was some gay kid who gets bullied, and if that's all he is then all his story would be nothing but a "warning/morality" thing. And that's just so pretentiously boring. Honestly, having a story where someone can come out/be gay/etc without bullying feels a lot more powerful to me than one where bullying is used as a device to teach the audience a lesson.
In relation to Lafayette, I really want to avoid any sort of bullying that happens to him. Also, I'm gonna just straight up and say that Laf is intersex, if you didn't know. I wasn't planning bringing his biological sex into the forefront, but thinking about it more he's actually pretty open about being intersex because he thinks it's something that ought to be recognized. I GUESS WHAT I'M SAYING IS... HE'D BE FINE WITH ME TELLING YOU GUYS, HAHA. But in terms of bullying, I kind of want to avoid external bullying in exchange for maybe internal conflict and conflict with Dmitri or whatever. Not because I think that bullying doesn't happen to intersex people or something, but because I don't think bullying will really bring out anything significant about Lafayette's character. And it's also just an issue that there's so much more to Lafayette than his sex and gender, I really want to have the chance to talk about who he is and how he sees the world rather than just how he conceives himself.
My story's not about bullying, by the way. I guess it's more about gender norms and what's normal between Dmitri and Lafayette, but since what's considered "normal" changes so much with time, stories about these sorts of things really do face the fear of being dated and irrelevant quickly. So I'm really trying to find a way to make it less about "here's what the current gender norms are and how Laf responds to them," but more about "here's how Laf responds to his friend having a crush on him." But since he's a kid and not really solid or open about his gender yet, and also since he doesn't know he's intersex yet, I feel like what I want to get across is going to be really hard to get across. """orz But I'll be thinking on it.
Right now a lot of people in the class thought Laf was trans, which is HMMMMNR... I kind of expected it, but I also still need to fix that. It was actually kind of unusual to hear so many people refer to Laf with feminine pronouns because most people online will use male ones (because that's what I use) or neutral ones (because he's non-binary). But anyway. I'm rambling about stuff. I actually had typed a whole lot more here, but it wasn't really about anything relevant, so I got rid of it. FOR ANOTHER TIME, MAYBE....
ANYWAY, I just really needed to get a lot of stuff off my chest bc Lafayette is a STRESSFUL CHARACTER! He's been stressful since day 1. But somehow he's managed to stick around, haha.... that's all, tho. Thanks for reading if you did, I guess, sorry it's so incoherent and whatever. xD I KNOW THIS POST HAS BEEN SUPER VAGUE... It'll probably make more sense once I finish and post my short story on theO (maybe by next week). I might copy this post to have in Various Planning, too, just so it's there tagged for reference.
I mentioned this briefly, but this past winter I went to Kanazawa in Ishikawa prefecture, Japan for a short abroad program at Kanazawa University. During the program I had a short 3 day home stay with a Japanese family. It was super nerve-wracking, and honestly I expected never to see them again.
ONE OF MY HOST SISTERS CONTACTS ME ON FACEBOOK TO SAY... SHE IS VISITING THE AREA FOR SIGHTSEEING AND WAS WONDERING IF SHE COULD STAY AT MY HOUSE................
I was super freaking out about this, but when I told my mom she was HYPE and all for it. So for the 2nd and 3rd of July, my host sister from Japan is coming to visit! NICE!!! Hopefully I'll get the chance to get to know her a bit better (I was way too shy and nervous during the first home stay, haha;;;). It'll also be a good chance to practice Japanese.... :^)
I'm just hoping I'll be entertaining enough for her, haha. She's 29 years old, so a bit older than me... and also probably not an Otaku Nerd fool........
BUT YEAH! That's the most exciting piece of news going on for me right now. I'M GONNA BE GETTING CRITIQUED ON MY SHORT STORY DRAFT TOMORROW, THOUGH, WISH ME LUCK......!!!!!! ahahadlskfjalsjfdm i'm gonna be dead tomorrow. orz
Mood: Excited and a little anxious
HEY!! So I finally heard back from Anime USA this morning (a month after my birthday. nice). And I got into the artist alley! YAY...!!!!!! If anyone in the DC area is considering going... come say "hi" 2 me.... B) It's actually kinda funny, I had a dream that I checked my e-mail and I got it. Which is usually a bad sign because those kinds of dreams usually aren't right, haha;;; BUT HEY! IT'S ALL GOOD. Now I just need to seriously buckle down and add more art to my set of prints. I'm thinking of adding a lot more stickers from various fandoms, and also some prints from Haikyuu!!, PMMM, and Sailor Moon (?? random assortment of things.) I also want to draw something for Ping Pong: The Animation even though it's like the most obscure anime............ (but really good come on guys.)
Also, I got some commissions this past week, so that's a good thing. BUT WHAT'S SCARY/EXCITING IS THAT SOMEONE WHO'S COMMISSIONING ME ATM ALSO WANTS TO HIRE ME AS A MORE FULL-TIME ARTIST FOR THEIR GAMING/COSPLAY/IDK WEBSITE...??? My sister knows this dude in person and also writes for this website, so it's not like I'd be getting hired by a total stranger. It's just kinda concerning because of working on con stuff.... but I think it's probably doable since he just wants me to draw chibis and stuff which are pretty easy. BUT YEAH. MONEY...!!!!! If I make enough money this summer, maybe I'll be able to pay for the con and everything on my own without my parents' help. >:Y ~*~ADULT~*~
With all this stuff going on, I might need to put some of my cosplay plans on hold. I might just do the Kyubey costume for Otakon since I've already started it. ALAS, OTHER COSTUMES..... some other time, I guess.
BUT YEAH, THAT'S THE EXCITING TURN OF EVENTS GOING ON HERE.... AND I'VE EVEN GOT MY SUMMER CLASS NEXT WEEK, AHAHA;;; Too much all of a sudden. July should be a bit calmer, I hope. ;u;7 HOPE Y'ALL HAVE A GREAT SUMMER.....!!!
Hey guys! Happy summer! For me, anyway. B) I've been on break for about a week and a half, now. I'm gonna try to draw more this summer to make up for my lack of activity last semester. ;0;/ But anyway here's some updates and stuff.
1) I've opened COMMISSIONS up for the summer! :^) Even if you can't/don't want to buy anything, it'd really help me out if you reblog the commission post, if you have a tumblr..... I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING ANNOYING, but I really do need exposure. ;u;7 SO YEP, THERE'S THAT... Feel free to PM me if you have questions, btw.
2) I'm working on opening up an online shop on storenvy! I haven't finished setting it up yet, but I expect it to be available sometime this/next week. I'll be selling the extra prints, keychains, and stickers from Animore. ;o
3) I've applied for Anime USA and I'm gonna re-apply to Nekocon later this month. REALLY HOPE... I GET IN... idk what the chances are like, though;;; I'll probably just register for Animore's artist alley again when the time comes. I wish I knew the secrets of how to get into cons................... maybe I just need to make some anime con artist friends so I can booth with them. -u-/;;; I also think I'mma try to apply for Katsucon in June b/c I've gotten over my fear of ~*~AMAZING ARTISTS~*~ and JUST WANT TO SELL MY EXTRA MERCH.... :^| But yeah, there's that.
4) Would anyone be interested in doing a comment spree/slam/whatever thing? I feel like they've been going on every year or so with Aryia's from last year, and my day-long one from two years ago. I thought it might be a fun way to start the summer. :^) If anyone's interested, let me know...!! Also let me know how many days you'd be interested in the comment event lasting. I was thinking for the rest of the month, but idk if that's too long.
But yeah, that's everything as far as updates go. Hope everyone has a good summer! And if you're still in class, GOOD LUCK WITH FINALS!! :^)
mood: I want to draw but idk what...
I REALLY WANNA PRACTICE LIKE POSES AND STUFF RIGHT NOW, BUT. Idk how to find poses I want to draw.
I know posemaniacs is a thing and a good reference site, but I just... don't like working off of their models... idk, it's just the fact that they're not real people and these strange MUSCLE BEINGS that makes me not want to draw from posemaniacs. I know it's important to understand muscle structure, but still. """"orz
I also really wanna practice expressions off of real people's expressions, but idk. REFS. I'm lazy.
Idk where I'm going with this. I mostly just wanted to whine about the fact that I can't find any refs I want to draw, haha. xD Maybe it's just the fact that I feel weird looking up stuff to draw, idk.
BUT YEAH... maybe send me some pose refs or face refs, if you're willing to...? It can be of anyone, maybe like celebrities and people that you like. idk. IDK!!! I just want to practice, and I'm too embarrassed to look up refs. orz (??? I don't get it either, waughlkd)
Okay yeah. Sorry for showing up out of nowhere to post this, haha;;; I'LL GO POST SOME ART IN MY OTHER WORLDS NOW, SINCE I HAVEN'T DONE THAT IN A WHILE. ;u;> I'll also post about animore eventually.
OH! I'll also be chilling at KATSUCON next weekend!! :^D Aw yeh.