The Parable Of The Lost Shinigami

There was once a Captain General of Soul Society named Genryūsai who had two Shinigami students, Shunsui Kyoraku and Jushiro Ukitake, whom he was both proud.

One day Kyoraku approached the old man and asked for his inheritance.

“Why would I give you an inheritance? You are not even my son.” Genryusai exclaimed.

“Because I asked so,” Kyoraku said.

Confused, Genryusai gave the shinigami half of his property. Later, Kyoraku left for the Real World to live there.

“Curse that smooth-talking Kyoraku!” Genryusai said once he realized what he had done. “He took half of my money for no apparent reason.”

Nevertheless, he prayed to Shiggy Lemons, Lord of Moe, to watch over his foolish student and hoped that the Moe be with him always.

In the real world, Kyoraku lived in luxury, eating and drinking in the most expensive of the restaurants, where he chased Hawt women and showed his GARness, gambled and fell to the ways of the Fail.

Then came a time when all of his money was gone.

He went to his friends, but none of them wanted to join in his failure. They saw him as a big bottle of Failsauce and they wanted none of it.

Desperate and hungry, he went to the Uruhara Shop and asked for work. He was given the job of cleaning the shop. They gave him scraps for food and nothing more. They treated him like a freeloader, except he did work for them. Kyoraku was severely humiliated and felt his GARness transform to nothingness. It was not Moe.

One night he came to realize that even the lowliest of servants in Soul Society were better off than he was. He prayed to the Lord of Moe for guidance.

In his sleep, four letters showed in his dream – GTFO.

He awoke that morning and confronted the owner of the shop.

“I’m sick of this place and I am leaving.”

“Fine, GTFO!” was the shopkeeper’s reply.

Like a message from above, he knew what he must do.

He immediately went to Soul Society and went to Genryusai.

“I have been tainted by failure and I humbly ask that you take me in once more. You do not need to call me your student. A servant will suffice.”

However, instead of accepting his offer, Genryusai dressed him in new robes, and even gave him a pink-flowered haori and a straw hat to replace his Uruhara Shop T-shirt. He brought out his best sake, and also called a meeting of all the captains of the thirteen court guardians. The meeting became a party, which surprised everyone. It was very unlike of the old man to be throwing a party.

Ukitake was at that time in the Central Library and was busy with his work. He was arranging all of the books, pamphlets, researches and every printed material imaginable by alphabetical order.

After his work was done, he went back to Genryusai to report his task.

When he arrived at his master’s place, he was surprised to see so many people gathered – most specially the captains of the squads.

He asked a servant what was going on.

“Your brother, Kyoraku, has returned, and the Commander is having a party in his honor.”

Ukitake was stunned. How could his master hold a party for Kyoraku after all that he had done? When Kyoraku left, he did his job diligently, and yet no party was held for him.

He decided to leave.

“Where are you going Ukitake?” It was the voice of Genryusai.

“I’m leaving.” Ukitake answered, “I don’t need to be in this party.”

“It is too bad. Hawt women will be coming later. Also, I have ordered more sake. I am sure the women will be attracted to your GARness – and your white hair. Women apparently like men with white hair these days.”

“Tell me something, master,” Ukitake finally spoke. “Have I failed you in any manner? Were my actions not Moe?

“And yet here, after Kyoraku – the man who have conned half of your money away from you returned, you threw a party for him.

“Not once did you even threw a party for me, nor treat me.”

“Ukitake… It’s true that that idiot cheated me out of my money making me believe it was my inheritance to him. However, are you not happy that he has returned? He is a lost sheep that is now found.

“Would you not rejoice if you have lost your favorite cowbell and then found it later?”

“He has found the way of the Moe once again. For that we rejoice.

”Don’t worry. He will not trick me into giving him any more money. The other half that is left I will give to you.

Ukitake was shocked.

“Do not give me that look. I do not know why as well. It seems I feel compelled to give it to you for some reason.

“As I was saying, I will give you the other half of my money. For now, let us rejoice.

He motioned to Ukitake to come to him.

“Come over inside and join the joyful occasion.”

Ukitake smiled and followed Genryusai.

Author's Notes:

Edited by Shinmaru
Original unedited work posted in The Worldly Wordpad