Online Relationships and Moderation

This is a question that comes up rather frequently. How to deal with people who decide to date someone they’ve never met in real life. Why does it come up frequently? Because 99% of the time, they end up breaking up and it turns into a he said, she said flame war. So the members come to me expecting some form of action.

This is where it becomes a problem. Unless there is a clear case of harassment, I simply do not moderate relationships. People exaggerate things and make them seem more of a problem than they really are. Plus, unless I am there or have tangible proof of what was said, I can’t and won’t take someone’s word over another person.

It would be biased and unfair to everyone involved if I took everything at face value. So bottom line, I’m not going to punish someone if they dump you or lead you on. If you got into an online relationship that went bad, it’s your job to get out of it. We’ve given you the tools you need so it’s not that hard.

For starters, if someone keeps pestering you and you have no interest in them that is what the block user function is for. Put that person on the list and move on. If they keep creating new accounts in order to bother you, then you can talk to me about putting an end to it, since that is moving into harassment.

If you’re angry at someone, do not come into chat demanding to talk to the person. Take the conversation off site or use pm’s. It’s annoying and immature to attempt to pin a person down in chat just to be dramatic about how they broke your heart, etc.

From now on I will be telling moderators that it’s perfectly acceptable to boot someone out if they insist on creating a scene like that. People come into chat to have a good time, not be dragged into a messy feud between two people who were once dating.

Also, one other thing that comes up that I will be giving the go ahead for people to kick members out for… and that is play acting with someone in chat. In other words, stuff like this:

Member: *Lies next to [member2]*
Member2: *runs fingers through [member’s] hair*

Or this:

Member1: I am in perv mode you know
Member2: *kisses member1 on the lips*
Member1: yea im good for now
Member2: *run into the room looks the door and changes into her bikini*
Member1: bikini!!
Member2: *walks out in her bikini and goes in the pool*
Member1: perv mode
Member1: I will not be subdude by a kiss this time

I don’t care if you are only joking. I don’t want to see these feeble attempts at “cybering” in chat. I know people pretend they are cats and curl up in other people’s laps, but that is a far cry from more hands on personal stuff. Don’t go there. I catch you at it and you just might get booted from chat and the entire site permanently.

So bottom-line, use a little common sense. If you really have to date someone, take advantage of other IM services and don’t drag your fellow otaku’s into the mix. You’ll save yourself and everyone else a lot of unnecessary drama and trouble. Plus, you’ll never have to worry about getting in trouble with the moderators.

End