Hello Everyone! Seems to me that EVERYONE has their own world, and since ninety nine percent of the time I'm living in my own world, I figured I could let you guys in on it. Manda's Madness will be just that, my madness. I just want to let everyone get to know me a little better. I love to write, so I'm sure some of my posts will probably be REALLY long, and don't expect a regular post, because you wont get it. XD I just want everyone to get to know me a little better, and so, like I said, I'm going to let you in on my own little world. Hope everyone enjoys, and doesn't get too put out with my ramblings. :)
What is a nightmare, and why are they plaguing me?
I think I've been having nightmares again. I'm waking up exhausted, and scared. I don't always wake up in the middle of the night, and I can't remember what I'm dreaming. Only that I wake up in a slight frenzy. I'll become completely alert until I'm so tired I have to just collapse on the pillow. Honestly, it's worrying me. Maybe I'm paranoid. I keep looking over my shoulder at night, making sure nothing is there. I think maybe too many scary movies have been watched. I keep feeling like someone is watching me or like someone is going to just jump out at me at any minute. I don't know. It's interfering with my sleeping though. I'm exhausted. I can't hardly go to sleep at night, and honestly, I'm starting to worry.
Maybe I'm going crazy. I don't think I'm crazy, but then again... Does a crazy person know they're crazy?
I feel kind of mean about this, but hell it made me feel better. It all started when a friend of mine started rubbing in my face that a girl who is a couple years younger than me and who is rather large was getting married. So, I mentioned it in c...
My stupid computer has to decide NOW of all times that it doesn't want to work. So, due to that I probably wont be getting online too much for the next couple of weeks. I'm currently in the library, but the library is noisy. I don't like setting in here. D< Ironic seeing as library's are SUPPOSED TO BE THE MOST QUIET PLACE ON THE ENTIRE FREAKING CAMPUS!! Anyways, I'll be back asap. I have to get my computer fixed first. I'm not really sure if it's the power cord or if it's the port. I'm kind of leaning to the port, because the had been getting a bit hot recently. In any event I don't have anyway to keep my battery charged and I almost completely killed it while doing homework the other day. So, you guys now know where Manda disappeared too. I'm not a ghost... yet. >.> I will return.
Today was my final day of my first semester at University. It has been so hard. I have had a horrible time dealing with it, but I somehow managed. The reason I managed was the support I had, and so I'd like to thank the one person who supported me more than anyone and helped me to make it through this semester more than anyone could imagine. He put me to bed and kept me calm when I felt like pulling my hair out with stress. Paul, you helped me make it through everything this semester. I love you more than anything in this world. Every time I close my eyes I thank the Lord I have you. I have to pinch myself sometimes, because it feels so surreal that this is really happening. I never thought I'd love someone the way I love you. You're the best thing that could have ever happened to me and I can't believe that you love me. It just seems so unbelievable. You have been my greatest support, and I love you. You're the most AMAZING person imaginable, and I hope to spend my life with you someday soon.
Maybe that's corny, but that's how I feel. You stood by me and I feel like I have everything in this moment. You gave me everything and I feel like with you I can do anything.