Hello Everyone! Seems to me that EVERYONE has their own world, and since ninety nine percent of the time I'm living in my own world, I figured I could let you guys in on it. Manda's Madness will be just that, my madness. I just want to let everyone get to know me a little better. I love to write, so I'm sure some of my posts will probably be REALLY long, and don't expect a regular post, because you wont get it. XD I just want everyone to get to know me a little better, and so, like I said, I'm going to let you in on my own little world. Hope everyone enjoys, and doesn't get too put out with my ramblings. :)
Today was my final day of my first semester at University. It has been so hard. I have had a horrible time dealing with it, but I somehow managed. The reason I managed was the support I had, and so I'd like to thank the one person who supported me more than anyone and helped me to make it through this semester more than anyone could imagine. He put me to bed and kept me calm when I felt like pulling my hair out with stress. Paul, you helped me make it through everything this semester. I love you more than anything in this world. Every time I close my eyes I thank the Lord I have you. I have to pinch myself sometimes, because it feels so surreal that this is really happening. I never thought I'd love someone the way I love you. You're the best thing that could have ever happened to me and I can't believe that you love me. It just seems so unbelievable. You have been my greatest support, and I love you. You're the most AMAZING person imaginable, and I hope to spend my life with you someday soon.
Maybe that's corny, but that's how I feel. You stood by me and I feel like I have everything in this moment. You gave me everything and I feel like with you I can do anything.
It had been a long tunnel this time. Mario had been shifting through it for a long while. He'd been in there for what seemed like forever. It was dark and damp. It had been a while since he'd heard Luigi yelling for him. His name had echoed through the pipes. "Mario. Mario." He was carrying a flashlight in his right hand, the light was glimmering in the corners it reach. He could hear the tinkling of water down the sides of the wall.
There didn't seem to be a sign of the end of the tunnel when suddenly, there was a dim light. Mario began running down the pipe towards the new aurora, slowly he poked his little red hat out of the pipe, waving it around to see if any koopa's were there to destroy him. Nothing happened. He peered over the rim of the pipe to look out at the world around him. It wasn't what he'd expected.
A little green yoshi had been following him through the tunnel, it was now that Mario looked at the creature and said, "Yoshi, I don't think we're in the Mushroom Kingdom anymore." The land was nothing like the Mushroom Kingdom. It was barren. Covered in large hills of dust, rocks, and craitorous mountains. It was cold outside. Then he looked at the sky. In the distance he could see a green and blue moon.
"Surina, get away from there!" Someone was shouting in the distance. It wasn't long before a figure came into view. Mario watched the long strands of hair floating in the wind as the young girl skipped to towards him. He hid in the tunnel slightly, only glancing over the rim to watch the girl.
The girl was skipping through the dust gracefully, when suddenly she fell. She cried out in a loud wailing moan. Mario's first reaction was to go over to the girl, but he held himself back. The girl stood there whimpering and holding her knee close to her chest. She had scratched it on a rock. It wasn't a bad wound, but the way she was going on about it was ridiculiously obnoxious.
After a few moments Mario took in the surroundings a bit differently, looking at the girl in her long white gown something about her changed in his eyes. She was beautiful. More beautiful than any woman he had ever known. Her eyes were fantastic, romantic, and captivating. Within moments he was convincing himself to approach her. She was the most lovely creature he'd ever seen. Perhaps he could convince her to return to the Mushroom Kingdom with him. She would be a lovely bride. He remembered that he was betrothed to Princess Peach already, but his heart was yearning for the new found lovely being before him. He steadied himself and was about to go to her when he saw a man come forth from behind one of the craitorous mountains.
It was a tall thin man, wearing a black tuxedo and a mask over his eyes. He leaned down in front of the girl and glanced at her knee that was exposed through a rip in her dress. His dark hair swam in the cold air around them.
"What have you done now, meatball head?" The man asked.
Mario was infuriated. How dare the man stand there in his princely attire and call the heavenly creature a "meatball head." Mario convinced himself further to approach them, he was about to make his move when he heard the young maiden reply.
"Darien... I'm sorry I wandered away." She looked deep into the man's eyes and watched a playful smile erect over his lips.
"Silly meatball head, I love you." He leaned down and kissed the girl fiercely. The passion overwhelming both of them. In that moment, Mario realizes that he stood no chance to the handsome devil kissing the young woman he had just fantasized his future with.
"Oh Darien," Surina moaned as she kissed him deeper.
Mario turned his head and headed back into the tunnel. "Come on Yoshi, let's go home to Princess Peach. Luigi must be in a furry." With that they disappeared back into the tunnel that they had came from, and headed on their way back to the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario never forgot that girl. She always toyed with his dreams and he often dreamed of returning to the place beyond the pipe. However, he contented himself with Peach, forcing himself to let go of the one moment he believes he felt true love.
I just can't get a break, can I? Now they think my grandmother has a blockage in her leg. It's great. I mean, everything is falling apart in this place. It's wonderful. I can't take much more. I feel like breaking down.
I think it's time I came out about something. Something that has been bothering me for a while. I'm overwhelmed. Not just with school, with everything. Things might not be a big deal to you, but they are to me.
This past week my mommy had a mild heart attack. I'm worried about her. I'm not home with her. I'm away to college, and so, I can't be there with her. So, it's really been stressing me out. This is piled on top of my new class work load. Each and every day I have new assignments. So much work that I'm studying pretty much from the time class lets out until 1-4 in the morning. That's not the problem here today, though. None of it is.
I love talking to you all. I love listening to you all tell me what is going on in your life. I have came to a breaking point, though. Many of you come to me with you're problems, but I don't have it in me to help anymore. I want to help. I want to be able to say something to all of you that will make anything and everything better, but I can't do it any more. Trying to solve all of your problems and dealing with my own at the moment, it's too much. I want to help, but I can't handle any more. It's gotten to be much too stressful. Many of you come to me as a confidant. You tell me the things that you want me to share. Things that you don't tell others. And, there are quite a few that do this. Don't think that you're bothering me, because you're not. It's just came to a point to where I can't handle any more. The love stories, the failure, I can't deal with them anymore. A lot of you come to me with relationship problems. I give you the best advice I can, but, like I said, I've reach my breaking point. I want to help. I want to be able to give you the best advice possible, but I can't. It's too much. I can't do it anymore. I can't take on the worlds problems and my own. I'm just one woman. I don't have the strength. I'm starting to get sick again from the stress. I really can't deal with any more. It's nothing against any of you. I really do want to help. I really want to listen, but when you all come to me with your problems, you make it my problem too, and I want more than anything to help you all. I want to be able to make a difference in it for you. It's become too much, though.
So, I'm going to make a request. Those of you that come to me when something is bothering you: if something is bothering you,take a moment, and think it through. Don't rush into anything. Think about what will make you happiest. Don't discourage yourselves, and talk to someone. I may not be able to help for now, but there are others. Moirwinvail(Paul), 7thEvaChild, and others I probably don't know. I want to help. I want to help more than you could possibly imagine, but it's too much for me to deal with. It's starting to make me sick again. Stress does that. I try to take on all your problems and make things better for you all, but I can't. Only you all can make a difference in your own life. I'm sorry to everyone. I'm so so so sorry. You have no idea how hard this is for me. I want to do something for you all, but I'm not able to anymore. I'm sorry. I'm really and truly sorry. I wish I could be there for you all for everything, but I don't have the strength. I really wish I did.
I'm tired. I'm over whelmed. I just got a curriculum plan for my life. It's going to take me 3 years to graduate, and honestly, I don't know if I can do it. I have to take French or Spanish, which my university doesn't offer but on special occasions. I need to take a crap load of education classes, all of which I have to drive to high schools and survey. Great, right? I knew I was going to have to do this, but hell... I don't have my drivers license. This is where things start getting difficult. *sigh* I just have to keep telling myself, "I can do this, I can do this." No, I can't. D: I have to retake the ACT, AGAIN! This is ridiculous. I'm beginning to wonder if I wouldn't be better flipping burgers. *sigh* I really wont do anything like that, I'm just tired and stressed out.
College is hard. People don't realize how hard. Parents don't make it better when they don't understand and think that they do. It makes it really hard when you're trying to better yourself and go to school to make a living, and they start telling you all this advice that they know nothing about. I'm getting sick again, too. I'm nauseous. I can barely eat, and my side is starting to hurt again. I feel really sick. I don't know what I'm going to do. *sigh*
