LOLI-POP

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SKETCH DAAAMPPUUUU

Dampe!

.....

'nyway...

Here's a sketchdump like I said I would do~

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Tamamori Yuta in the middle~ A poorly drawn Guts in the top right hand corner. He looks like a girrrlll! ;m; Also I did not draw him with his eye closed which is oh so wrong. I need to work on manly men characters...meh

Trying to figure out how to draw Ikuya...I knew how to for a moment and then I forgot! ;m;

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This is the page with the successful Ikuya drawings~ :D Ikuya is the guy with long hair drawn. This is how I imagine him to look but have never been able to draw himmm...

Then I tried drawing Hisoka and I think I am satisfied with his look. Big lips, big eyebrows, big eyes, small nose = supah kawaiiness.

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Main character of Bloodlust whom I've just realized has no name! Oh wellz, I get to that later. I was designing his outfit. I feel like I got it down a bit more...but...he's probably gonna have a lot of different outfits..;orz GUHH! Maybe I should choose a more easier setting...'cause I can totes do that, but le significance of le meanings...bawww...

I wanted him to have golden hair, but now I am debating if I should make him completely black. We were talking about Krishna in religion class and I completely forgot that Krishna was supposed to be all black. I kinda want to make a completely black character who is also beautiful like Krishna. This is when I realized that my main character is...very much like Krishna anyway....Like he feels really godlike in a way....I am wondering if I could use that somehow?

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Drawing Ana because I drew Ikuya and Hisoka before. In conclusion, Ana is so much easier to draw. I can draw billions of her! But what style should I choose? I want a kind of rounder version of Yoshiyuki Sadamoto's style...'cause why not?

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GRIFFITHHHH!!! And Kento Nakajima~ I then tried drawing a pretty girl but she looks like an alien. Hence meh comment of 'I can't draw pretty girls' Since Kento Nakajima was totes so easy.

I have fluctuating times in which I can draw pretty boys and pretty girls.

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I don't remember why I was doing this. I think I finished my homework early or somethingggg??? I wish I could finish my homework early nowww...THIS WEEK IS TOO BUSY FOR ME HOMEWORK-WISE! Internship applications, papers (short papers, but still), art homework (takes up time), roommate's birthday (tomorrow...with no plansss...UGHHH!! TT^TT), family weekend, and many more things which I am forgetting BAAAAHHHH

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This pic has a lot going on! XD

We have a pic of Ash Crimson at the top right in Kentaro Miura's style of drawing Griffith. Ash Crimson drawn in random style at the bottom right. I drew Dio Eraclea from Last Exile and Ghirahim in Kentaro Miura's Griffith style as well 'cause...white hair characters...:3 Then we gots a poorly drawn Griffith in the top right corner....And then A mad Griffith in the middle with his Behelit (of course). And then in Griffith's eye we have a small image of Guts 'cause canon

YAPPP

Dats it bros!

ADIOSSS~

STUFF!! And then an itty bitty rant

And the title is a lie 'cause no rants are 'itty bitty'

First offfffff....

I decided to re-do Idolling. I also told my friend who has an awesome idea for a manga to write out her story so I can draw it into a manga...And then that Bloodlust manga and then mah webcomic and the I Hate You thing...sooo....BASICALLY I am just digging meself a grave in work. Actually my plan for all these different projects isn't for me to do all of them at once or try and get them all done at once, but more like plant them and let them grow into better ideas. Ideas that are in the back of my head at all times that I can work on whenever I feel like so I am never bored~

I was re-reading Idolling and I was very disappointed in how I introduced the characters. Ana is a hot headed and stubborn jerk of a character, Hisoka likes Ana out of the blue, and Sachie is just really really weird. Not to mention the fact that none of the members of Sw33t actually have any personalities, that you can see. This is not good in my book. I think characters should be introduced a little bit at a time, or maybe all at once, but not with equal amount of introduction because then that makes things confusing.

So I went back and tried to focus the story some more and I ended up with more than a romance~ It turns out that Hisoka, Ana, Momone, Ikuya, and some other characters all represent a different idea of what it means to be successful in the world. My original idea for Idolling was Ana's explorations of different career choices with a background of the idol industry and that failed, but with this new look at Idolling I can totally do that now~ :D

You see, there are the dreams of being idols which are not only unrealistic but most people think that idols are pretty pointless an being an idol isn't something you exclaim and then have people be all like 'This person deserves so much of my respect'.

Then there are the jobs like doctors etc. that the majority of people look at as successful jobs.

Those are based in reputation. But then don't you also get success from making a lot of money? Or is it success that you are happy at your job? Or is it success that you explore the human condition? What is success? This is the main question of Idolling hence the name IDOLling. Because you idol one position over the other and seek it out as your goal.

'kay so basically Idolling has fermented into a new story with the same characters and same original theme but more clear and with a different flow. I just need to figure out how events will flow and what sort of fun scenes I wanna put in~ Also it's difficult for me to write romances right now for some reason.

Last year I was so excited about romance, and although I do still love romance mangas and dramas I don't get excited about real life romance anymore. I don't have any crushes or fantasies about anybody anymore...it's kinda sad...so it's difficult to write Idolling as a romance as I originally intended because then I feel like their romance is futile. Like why would Ana end up with that person and not the other person?

'nyway...that seemed like the rant part, didn't it? Well it's not!

It's actually a good segue into my rant.

In my japanese class we were learning comparisons and one of the questions in our workbook was: Do you like good looking or intelligent persons?

I feel like this is a common question. What do you look for in a guy? Appearances or brains?

I usually go for the brains because that seems like a better answer. How shallow of you to say appearances. You should past the appearance to the real person.

That is what pretty much EVERYONE says. This is important stuff to know so you don't become some heartless jerk or whatever.

I mean, yeah, you shouldn't base your opinions of people on appearance. But if this is based in romance then I will have to choose appearance.

I look for attractiveness in guys because I feel like that is a nicer thing to say than intelligence.

From my perspective everyone is intelligent. And I will now explain why I believe this.

If you were in a difficult math class and there is that one kid who always gets good grades or just knows what is going on in the math more than anyone else you admire him (or hate him depending on le feels at the time) for his intelligence. Then you get to know him and you learn that he parties every night and makes bad life decisions. But he is a genius as math. Is this an intelligent person?

Or if you know somebody outside of class and they study diligently and make great life decisions. Are always helping people and never think of themselves selfishly. But academically they are weak and they have a hard time dealing with money then is this person intelligent?

Maybe this person who is bad at school is extremely clever and witty and can always articulate his feelings perfectly. Is this person intelligent?

I believe both of them are intelligent. Declaring another person intelligent or not intelligent is just as shallow as saying somebody is or is not good looking. This is all based on preferences of what intelligence or beauty means.

This also may be based on my own feelings of intelligence and beauty. If somebody told me I was ugly I would be a bit saddened but it wouldn't rock my world because I know I still have intelligence. If somebody told me I was stupid then I would be in a panic mode. It hurts more to be called an idiot than to be called ugly.

So for me to choose a guy based on his appearance versus intelligence is something kind. I don't care about your intelligence, everyone is intelligent to me.

Also psychologically, you are going to judge people based on appearance so the question is worthless anyway. Your idea of that person's intelligence is also based on the image they show to you.

Another thing, I must have a different idea of good looks to everyone else. I go by the mere exposure effect in deciding if somebody is good looking, as I think most people do. Mere exposure effect is the effect of slowly becoming more attracted to a person the more you see them.

For that reason the person might become more stupid, but also more beautiful.

In conclusion, I think it is nicer to answer the question by choosing 'appearance' over 'intelligence' because psychology.

DONE WIT MAH RANNNTTTT YUSSS!!

I have been drawing a lot, but I am in my bed right now (I sleep on the top bunk) and it is difficult climbing up and down with stuff in my hand and putting my laptop down and blah so I have not put the pictures from my camera on my computer yet nor have I taken pictures of my new sketches so no sketchdump for today! ;3; BAWW

Also in other news...lately I have been less social. I just don't feel like talking to anybody anymore...I just want to do homework and write manga and watch dramas. I feel happier when I am not talking to anyone...I feel like this is both good and bad. It's good 'cause I get more work done, but it's bad because humans need to socialize so I can't just cut out socializing...but it's so boring for some reason....hrmmm...

Welp I'ma go read a manga that my friend recommended me~ TATA~

As customary...a meme

Before I got to sleep~ I have this impulse to do whatever memes I see people I subscribe to do....;orz This time I am stealing from moonlitdream. Go check her's out, it's much funnier than mine. Mine is just sad.

Would You Rather

Pierce your nose or your tongue? Nose 'cause tongue piercings are not only nasty, but people with them talk so weirdly it's funny! XD I think in theory tongue piercings are cool, but with the people talk they sound so nerdy.
Drink whole or skimmed milk? Whole. Skim scares me 'cause I once had hot chocolate with the skim on top that looked like plastic and now I am afraid of things with the word skim in it 'cause that was a terrible experience.
Die in a fire or drowning? Drowned by a shark. I have always wanted to be one of those people who is eaten just like in Jaws, which is extremely rare, but that just makes mah death more special~! :3
Spend time with your parents or enemies? I don't have any enemies, and why would I want to spend time with them if I did have them? So parents by default.

Are You?

Simple or complicated? Yes.
Straight, gay, bisexual, other? Straight.
Tall or short? Short SAYS LIKE EVERYONE I EVER MEET. 'You are so cute and tiny' plus your typical short-person puns and jokes...-3-
Right handed or left handed? Right handed. But I can draw a bit with my left hand. Left hand I shall not forget you~ ;3;
A lover of music or a lover of books? Manga~ But I prefer music because I like to imagine choreography to songs or maybe a scene that it provokes or somethinggg...

Do You Prefer

Flowers or sweets? Sweets~ The packaging is shoo kyoot
Grey or black? Errrr....blackk...but both are main components of my wardrobe~ By accident 'cause I like both a lot. Grey can be so silky or soft and black is SHOCKING
Color photos or black-and-white photos? Depends. If it's a really ugly coloured photo then please be in black and white, but then some coloured pics are quite lovely...Depends on the photography~
Sunrise or sunset? Sunrise...sunset...sunrise....sunset...Picture yourself on a cliff at sunset....Sorry meditation....ingrained in my head. I have been liking sunset more and more. Though I dislike twilight. It's my least favourite time of the day. I don't like it when everything becomes black and all you can see is the sky, I like to see the reflection of the sky on buildings. Maybe a lone railroad track in the middle of the city at sunset or a rocky beach~ *3*
M&Ms or Skittles? Can I say neither? Neither. Skittles get stuck in my teeth and M&Ms make me throw up...dunno why this is, but it has happened.
Staying up late or waking up early? Staying up late 'cause artificial light is more beautiful than natural light to me~ :D
Sun or moon? How could you compare the sun to the moon? The sun is massive and hugely important and the moon is only somewhat important to the earth. Not only that but WHAT MOON? There are numerous moons for different planets. Gosh, questionnaire, be more specific...>3>
Winter or Autumn? The both have their perks and problems. I would say Winter because I remember it more than Autumn. Also it's a good time for hot chocolate and warm foods~! X3
10 acquaintances or 2 best friends? Either way I would probably in some sort of panic mode. 2 friends requires full attention to both. 10 acquaintances is just too much. Now if the situation were me teaching something or explaining something then 10 acquaintances please.
Rainy or sunny? Depends on how many days it has been sunny or rainy in a row. I prefer sunny just 'cause my umbrellas keep breaking in the rain, but I like it when it rains and I am inside.
Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? If I ever eat ice cream it is either chocolate, green tea, pumpkin, or coffee.
Vodka or Jack? Who is Jack? What is Jack? Vodka is made out of potatoes...and I like potatoes....though I dislike alcohol...hrmm...Vodka.

About You

What time is it? 9:34 PM NOT MAH BEDTIME YETT
Name? Ermm...What is name?
Nicknames? Chibi-chan, Sugardaddy, Ibu-chan (is this a nickname or an incorrect pronunciation of my name?) Wakuwaku, Waku, Wakusei
When is your birthday? January 26th
What do you want? All the Shin Megami Tensei games and Persona games, Drakengard games, Nier, Chrono Cross, Xenoblade, Xenogears games, the new SSB, new Zelda game, Ocarina of Time 3D, new Phoenix Wright game, and for Chrono Trigger to work past the freaking time travel place...which can be done. So I have a long list of video games I want/want to play right now....annnddd...yeppp...
How many kids do you want? None, unless they are adopted.
What would you name a girl? I always though Sumire was pretty. I also like Lynn, or Leilaeh, but I feel like the girl'd be teased with a name like Leilaeh...>3>
What would you name a boy? DARIEN! No. That just came to mind right now when I thought of 'a name for a boy'. I liked the name Damien for some time...Kenta or Eita are wonderful names. Amon is nice too....Shevaya...hrmm...There are a lot of male names I like.
You want to get married? NEVAR! Though I had a dream last night that I married Takahiro Nishijima, except he wasn't a popstar and just some rich kid and that I had to make babies with him or else I'd be shunned from the family unless I could earn more than his grandma who was the richest member of the family...SUCH STRESS! TT^TT I blame this on my japanese class for repeatedly practicing 'kekkonshiteimasu'
What kind of music do you like? Bossa nova, electronic, video game music ,classical, jpop, jrock, funk...either something I can dance to or something that does not sound like traditional music like kikuo's music or the ost for Drakengard.

Unique

Nervous habits: Looking at the ground, hunching my back, averting gaze, rubbing nose, scratching back of neck, covering mouth or face
Are you double-jointed? I think my brother is, but I am not. ('cause you needed to know that my brother was. He can clap with one hand~)
Can you roll your tongue? Which kind of rolling we talkin' 'bout? Dis question always confuzzles me. I guess so...?
Can you raise one eyebrow? Yes, but it takes effort and I can't do the eyebrow wave thing like all my friends seem to be able to do...;m;

Random

Which shoe goes on first? Right? No left! AAAGGGHHH!!
Ever thrown something at someone? I threw a controller at my brother and he cried and I was shocked 'cause he always does that to me and I don't cry...>3>
On average, how much money do you carry with you? $20? Nah just kiddin'. Nothing~ :D My mom wants me to carry $20 but...bank...so far...mehh
What jewelry do you wear? Anything depending on the day and the outfit. It's gotta match!
Do you twirl or cut spaghetti? Cutting spaghetti? What kind of--?? I twirl it....to the point where it doesn't fit in my mouth. In conclusion eating spaghetti is a struggle.
Have you ever eaten Spam? SPAM!! no.
Favorite ice cream? Green tea? I dun really like ice creammm...
How many kinds of cereal are in your cupboard? GRANOLA! ALWAYS! If I need ta take some pills since I be constantly dehydrated (due to lack of liquid consumption) I can't figure out how to take them properly so I eat the powder inside with granola instead of sugar 'cause sugar melts in the heat but granola is always there! ;3; GRANOLA YOU ARE THE BEST BUDDY IN THE WORLD. Helping me through the hard times...;m;

Last

Car ride? Going to walmart to buy toppings for crepes. It was a partial success. spent $45 for stuff that I only used for one moment of time.
Song played? Symphonic Poem "Forbidden Poem" I am addicted to it. I think it's mainly just the first minute and a half. IT'S SO GORGEOUSLY DEPRESSING~ UWAHH~
Person you saw? My roommate...who is in the same room as me...
Time you cried? I think the last-ish episode of HunterxHunter's Chimera Ant Arc...or maybe that one time I was totes frustrated about my research paper...but I don't think I cried as much as I did at the Chimera Ant Arc ending. SOOO SADDD! An experience unlike any other anime.
Fight? Battle with Adel. I won...but I keep getting a game over. Is this normal?! I think it is...the text at the end was different...but, alas, japanese. Wait! You mean a real fight? Like argument? With a person who I thought was my friend but apparently I am just an acquaintance...O.o; But that's okay, none of his friends actually like him and have had similar arguments or bad experiences with him that are worse than mine. Makes meh feel bettah.

Okiedoke~ Back to le Chrono Cross LP I be reading. Which is hilarious. By the wayyy....

Chrono Cross looks JUST like a majority of the dreams I've had.

I mean this was definitely in one of my dreams:

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Often in my imagination:

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Tried drawing a pic like this one time but it didn't work out:

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It even has a white tower thing that is a common occurrence in my dreams:

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But it's not in the middle of water and the tower in my dreams is more open and hollow, where even from a distance you can see through it into the statues that decorate it's halls.

And I've totes seen a house like this in El Paso except that instead of water it's sand/dirt or just a really huge pool.

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Makes me wanna buy the game. I like games with colourful creative backgrounds it makes it feel more adventurous. I dislike dark coloured realism.

Oh! The LPer made a joke about the colorfulness of the game. It made his eyes bleed and then he remembered back to before the 2003 color standardization act which made all colours illegal except for browns and greys. So true. WHAT HAPPENED TO COLORFUL VIDEO GAMES THAT AREN'T MADE BY NINTENDO OR ARE RHYTHM GAMES?! TT^TT I miss le colourrrss...;m; Says the person who only plays moderately colourful games...Nothing really matches the colorfulness of Chrono Cross in today's games...>3>

Titles and Sketch Dump

Don't feel like doing anymore homework today (did a perspective study outside for about 3 hours...;orz) so I'ma post here until dinner taim~ :D

So some proof dat I be doodlin' moar. I totes draw e'eryday with gestures drawings, etc. 60 minute sketches from photo reference. Besides my art homework, that is.

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Drew this while at work~ I finished my homework way too early sooo's... We've got Emil from Nier and that prince guy from Nier 'cause they be both fabuloush. Also some guy from some game I don't but I think he looks cool with le sunglasses, and then Dito from Drakengard 3 in the upper right hand corner. Not sure why, but I have been obsessed by Yoko Taro made games even though I don't ever want to play them...O.o; To be fair, Drakengard and Nier have always intrigued me, but I never sought out let's plays or whatever of them until now and now I hooked!

Dito is sho kawaii~ Kawaii sadist that he is...X3 I want more sadistic shota characters in video games...;3; Dey sho kyoot

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Moar drawings from work~ I just copied some pages from Ao Haru Ride using my yaoi kyarakyara. I really love how this scene was written in the manga, one of my favourites of any shoujo manga, so I decided to draw it just to analyze how she did this. In conclusion, I dunno what she did. My analyses was very weak.

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Beginning of rant

A drawing to myself to prove to myself how drawing sexy women is more fun and easier than drawing sexy men because we can exaggerate the heck outta them and they still look like women and still look good. This is point one of my five point plan on...XD This is actually just one of my points as to why there are so many bikini clad female characters in video games and why there shouldn't not be those. STOP STIFLING CREATIVITY WITH YOUR POLITICAL CORRECTNESS. There IS a problem of a sexism in video games, but it's more a reflection of our current society. 'course it doesn't help the problem, but it makes our own sexism seem like a big problem. But my problem with these arguments is that usually it's coming from people who don't really like video games/only critique games they don't like, have no clue about character design, and just want to stop bikini clad characters.

NUUU BIKIN CLAD CHARACTERS ARE MY FAVOURITES! How dare ye complain about such a thing. People who complain about this only look at the characters from first glance, rarely do they actually point out the character development of such characters. Think about it guys. How many super sexy, big breasted female characters can you think of that are probably the strongest or one of the strongest characters in the game? I can think of several. Flat chested girls not so much. Maybe that's a problem...

But what about men? How many main guys are skinny, lanky characters? Can ya think of any? What about feminine male characters who aren't a silly side character or villain? Can ya think of any?

The problem here is not in blantant sexism and what-not, but in POOR LAZY CHARACTER DESIGNING. Take risks.

This is why I like Yoko Taro in a way, 'cause he understands you gotta take risks. He has a bloodthirsty main character in Drakengard, a middle aged man in Nier (not to mention the hermaphrodite side character), a sadistic prostitute in Drakengard 3. That is some taking of risks and I applaud him for that.

(I'd really like to write a hard research paper about why pinpointing sexism as a problem in video games is more destructive than constructive)

Rant ends here~

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Dunno why this page is darker than the others...buuut...Trying to create a mascot for the machine things in meh webcomic. Machines still don't have names...but at least dey get a MASKAWT~ I'm going with the one with all the hands. 'twas difficult deciding...

I was inspired by this video:

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Yaoi kyarakyara~ These are old...actually they are just Nishijima Takahiro and Shinjiro Atae drawn in my style...:D OTRP (one true real pairing)...'cause they be real peeps. Not that this a real pairing, I just like the idea and how they interact with each other in real life. So I've always wanted to make characters based off of them. They are now N and Shinji~ N 'cause I dunno what to call him...thinking of calling him Nakajima...something something...

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Moar 'o dem~ I like the pic of N (in the middle) the most~ Looks exactly like what I was going for~

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Klan~ And some guy who is a secret of who he is....I got worried that Klan looked too much like Ash Crimson when I was drawing him, so I drew him as Ash Crimson and I have confirmed that he does not look like Ash Crimson~ :D

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This I did two nights ago~ See the improvement? The page above this one with all da Klans was drawn when I first bought this sketchbook which was two weeks ago. I think my facial structures are getting better just 'cause of this art class...even though we aren't even drawing facess....YET. The drawings in the middle are my yaoi kyara kyara in poses from Ao Haru Ride that I liked. I drew those about a week ago. You can see a closer comparison from those~

And you have Mr. Princeyprince crying on the left....

SPEAK OF MR. PRINCEYPRINCE (dis wundafuru segue~)

I have decided on temporary titles for some projects I be workin' on.

You guys already know about the I Dislike You one. That's an on and off project that I'll just do traditionally when I feelz leik it.

Then the one with Mr. Princeyprince I shall call Bloodlust. Not a great title, of course, just a temporary title. Won't stick with it, but it has a good explanation of the focus of the characters in the story. This is the one about le peeps like us with red blood fighting those with water for blood in a barren landscape.

The webcomic thingy I be working on I will probably leave as Blind Without Disease even though that sounds so laaaameee...;m; like an emo band name or sumtin'...bu-buh le siginfican to the storryyy...BWD...Actually, maybe I should just name the machines that. BWD...looks quite formal, then when we add some numbers onto it BWD6-083 then it looks important. Maybe that's what'll happen! XD Then I'll have to find a new title. Maybe it'll just be Disease! O.O Well for now it is Blind Without Disease~ :D

....

Then in other news since I still have like 10 minutes until dinnerrrr....

DRAKENGARD! This game...MY LIFE...

Once upon a time a little Wakusei was looking at all the games on creativeuncut and came across the concept art for a game called Drakengard. The art was so beautiful that she had to look up more stuff about it, but when she read about the gameplay she was disgusted and never looked it up again (me no fan of hack and slash games). Alas, she continued to return to admiring the art:

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Now for first person narration~

Then last year or so I was just listening to random tunes on youtube and scrolling through the recommendations when I came across this beauty:

Thought it was the best final boss song I've ever heard (still do). In order to get the full understanding of the significance of this song to the game I decided to watch let's plays of it...until I got to the final boss which is the worst thing I've ever seennnn...

But it was still very intriguing. And then that is when I realized Drag-on Dragoon 3 is Drakengard 3...And then Drakengard is that same game I would look at the concept art for when I was littler...

So I be reading let's plays of Drakengard and I'm so hooked...I first thought that the must was terrible...but the must has grown on me:

This one's one of my favourites and a good example of all the music in the game. That background music is pretty much all the music in the game...but it's...it's so wonderful for some reason...

Now I recommend listening to the whole Drakengard OST before listening to this one:

I listened to the Drakengard OST all day and then decided to go onto Drakengard 2 OST...and my mind just exploded with this song! HOLY CRAP! What a wonderful experience, just listening to this song! Obviously one of my favourite songs now...Although I heard Drakengard 2 is not as fun as Drakengard 1 in weirdness...I like weird animoo/videogames...

Since this post is probably the size of a book and it is dinner time...I shall end here~

Headache

Too much thinking today...need to destresss...but I can't do it without thinking...so the best way to not think is to just TAIIPPPP

So I'm just rant until I feel sleepy....XD

I have been having trouble with my article I am writing with expectations to publish 'cause I don't feel worthy of publishinggg...;3; I got lots of nice crits today and then I went to my professor's office for more explanation and I totally just dropped the bomb and decided to change my topic last minute. He told me to write an outline tomorrow and see if I still want to do that. I thought that'd be a waste of time so I decided to do it to tonight and alas...no context...

My second idea was to write about shounen manga's display of violence and how HunterxHunter critiques it..but it seems like Togashi just has fun killing his characters. 'course you can never tell with humble authors...

'nway...in my research I came across this lovely article about Evangelion and Lain. He has soooo many great points and I was like 'I am totes doing this in my webcomic' And then I started thinking about my webcomic and not my paper and now my brain is dead...'cause I was thinking about the big twisty thing I am trying to go for in the story and....yeah....brain is dead...

My train of thoughts basically went like this: So this guy is gonna be super duper powerful...but then wait a minute, the super duper power is coming from the mind so how did he get the super duper power. He must have some sort of mental disorder that makes him more sensitive to these things..But then he's hooked up to a computer/machine thing...so what if he is just being powered by software...what if his mind is just software? What the heck is this person? Are they a human being or what?

And then my head imploded. Yup. Giving me a headache just thinking of it. So I didn't want to tough my paper or my webcomic after that...;orz

I am realizing how deep meh webcomic is and I'm liking it~! X3 But I dunno if I can handle it...In dunno, I just gotta have fun with it.

So's I re-read Idolling...and I am disappointed in the writing for the 2nd and 3rd chapters. I think Sachie in my mind is a really complex character but I gave her a TERRIBLE introduction...No, like NO INTRODUCTION. I kiiinda want to redo the story but meh...It's all about how I improve each chapter...but I'm putting myself in a box here by trying to continue the story.

I would like to continue it to the end, just...shoujo manga...it is hard to draw...'cause I was never the type to doodle and I feel like that's what most of shoujo is: doodling le feels.

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Look at dat.

Or maybe it's just mangaka having fun with tones...? Maybe what I am seeing is useless to the overall emotion of the story and I should just write whatever I feel like...

I downloaded some magazines so maybe those will inspire me with the cutesy little bitty bits everywhere to write Idolling more shoujo-y.

Then through conversations with my friend about love and romance and all dat jazz I decided I want to come back to a oneshot I wanted to write and decided I should split the idea into a series of oneshots based on my philosophy of love.

The temporary title I have is 'I Hate You'. The stories are based around the characters that 'don't know what it means to love' or are usually the ones that get kicked out of the plot because they just aren't interested. Why aren't the interested? And how do you know they aren't? That's what I'm going for there. I think I might work on that in my off time inbetween writing everything else...

I honestly would just like to work on manga every day no matter what and just decide which story to work on based on feels. Dunno how productive that'd be but maybe it would help me write manga faster?

I watched Love Exposure with Nissy:

Definitely one of the strangest movies I've seen. Then I realized it was the same director as Noriko's Dinner Table and I wondered WHY DO I KEEP ACCIDENTALLY WATCHING HIS MOVIES?! What draws me to watch his movies...Like my only experience with Japanese movies besides Akira Kurosawa's and the Death Note movie and Departures have been weird movies like that...

Love Exposure inspired me the most on the 'I Hate You' one shot series because it is basically my philosophy on romance. It's that it's an extreme emotion with wild bursts that inevitably ends...'course that didn't happen in the movie...Well for me love is a moment of passion when you meet somebody who you are attracted to heavily. It last for a bit and then it inevitably dies down. It's usually here that people break up. It's for that reason I have never dated anyone and have always rejected people even if I might have liked them because I know that whatever feelings I would have for them would be shortlived and I will get bored and want to go on to the next person. I think it's something much more complicated than this hence it must be written in manga form! XD

So many projects...guhh...more headaches...guhh...

Taim ta go ta beeeeeeeddddddddd!!!!!