Hi other depressed people.This world is where you can post your problems or help me solve mine.I DO NOT judge others.You can come to me with any problems.
What it feels like-
I think of depression as a huge blackhole that sucks you into your worst thoughts,worries,and problems.But,as long as you fight it with positive thoughts,you'll get away from it.Positive thoughts are what you must live for whether it is family,friends,team mates,boyfriends/girlfriends,etc.In depressed times you feel like lying down and never getting up,just wait for death to come or anything else...You just wanna give up and die.If your like me you'll refuse to do that over anything,you'll fight to live and keep your happiness.You'll make sure you find one tiny speck of something to keep you alive and the tiniest bit happy.

Fear and Sadness-
This is where your worries become a reality and that blackhole makes it's course back around to you.Your heart crawls into your throat during the realization then sinks into your stomach.It causes the feeling of misery,hate,and sorrow.You give up,try not to breakdown infront of your loved ones,hide it intill your alone or hold them in for internity.You put on a show hiding your emotions,acting like your happy.This is why I keep a diary it expresses my feelings where no one can read them.

Heartbreak-
Everyone goes through this but once it hits,there's no stopping it.Your heart feels like it just shattered and feel to the pit of your stomach.You fall into the depression and feel like your world is crashing down around you.You can't think straight it's always about him/her.Nothing matters right now,not family,not friends,just that one person who broke your heart.

Worst day of my miserable life...

Today,I hope I can pull through.I told Kendyl to screw off last week and I'm over Dylan,but of course I can't be happy for too long...I guess I'm supposed to be miserable,to sit and mope around everyday because once one problem disappears another forms.
Today,I asked God why it has to be like this only staring up at a blank sky waiting for an answer that will never come..
Saturday,things were clearing up.It was a perfect day my sister wasn't bothering me,I saw a few of my friends around the football field,we went to the flea market and bought a puppy for my dad,which he later named Jake.
Jake is our little baby...but last night I knew something was wrong when he vomitted on my bed.My mom stayed up with him all night.He was vommiting and having dirrahea constently.
This morning my mom took Jake to the vet,who diagnosed him with Parvovirus.Parvovirus is a virus in dogs (often puppies) that attacks the dividing cells in a puppy's intestinal lining,which causes dirrahea(often bloody),depression,and supression of white blood cells.In very young puppies it can attack their heart and cause sudden death.
My mom then brought him home and found a vet that would give him the treatment at a decent price.Once we found one we took him to the clinic(even though it took like an hour to find it) he was shaking and the vet took him into the back after my mom paid for him to be treated for two days.I hope he does well my mom checked in with the vet about an hour ago,they said he is doing well and moving around more.
PLZ PRAY FOR JAKE!

Drive Safely

This video is extremley graphic bu I do recomend you to watch it.If you don't cry your a complete douche and you have no soul..

or
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Taken..

Apparently,Dylan is going out with my ex-friend,Kendyl.She broke up her boyfriend and asked Dylan out.(which I asked her not to and she said she wouldn't) I think she did it to make me mad.She got kicked off of the volleyball team because she wouldn't run,lazy ass.Then for some reason Coach put her back on the team which pissed me off because she never gives second chances.
Anyway, I love Dylan,and I mean LOVE.And she doesn't,it's not fair that I work so hard just to get noticed,and she can just snaps her fingers and he's there.She flirts with other guys right infront of him.Sometimes he looks hurt and I just want to take him and hug him.But,I can't.I just keep walking hoping he'll have enough sense to leave her and realize I'm the girl he wants!Of course he hasn't yet.I hope he will soon,for right now I'll just take whatever depression throws at me.

How I feel:

Invisible..

Have you ever walked by someone (guy or girl) a you just fell head over heels for them?And just knew you had to be with them?It's happening to me now and I don't know how much longer I can keep this up,this flip-floping from love to depression.I'm tired of this crap and I have plenty of other problems(that I'm not going to list now)but I have a huge crappy-flaw I worry about others before myself.So,when my friends have problems I push everything aside and help them but now I need to focus on my own problems.If you've ever listened to Invisible by Taylor Swift you know how I feel.To him I'm just some girl in his English class.
Sometimes,I feel like giving up.Everything that's wrong with my life pulls me down especially Dylan.Other days,I'm happy as I don't know what and I could just laugh all day and jump off the walls.On those depression days I remember everything I have to live for,my friends,my family,my team mates,and and my whole life I still plan to live.When,I think that,I think SCREW DYLAN!He's an DOUCHE and he can just go Fuck himself!LOL and other days where am a happy-crazy-all the time werdio person he's AWESOME SAUCE!