I'm that person your mother warned you about being the super smart girl that sits in the corner planning the end of the world. Until of course she realises you need me to tutor you and I'm actually not the quiet. and only smart. not super smart. which comes as a dissapointment, but bear with me.
And then i turn out to be sitting in the corner so the teacher wont notice me drawing on my homework.
I hate art class because people tell me what to draw.
I hate art school because they want realism. not my personal style. But I love them for making me realise I need to expand my talent.
I laugh at stupid jokes like " A man walked into a bar, you'd think he'd seen it"
And I answer to things like "Old Fart" and "Lady" and things like that.
I'm as straight as a curvy line. But I'm not a spiral. YET.
I don't like self- inflicted pain. So here's some code for my journal
Doing something with hair that involves cutting it : Depressed
with the exception of " OH MAN, DUDE, I LOOKED AT SOME GIRL'S HAIRSTYLE, LOL, IT LOOKS SO COOL I WANNA CUT IT LIKE HER!!"
ugh its like...you know? : trying to surpress bad words. lol
and everything else is quite straight forward.
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People don't have to be pretty to be cool.
life's been good. science fair caught up with me tho and im kind of....dying a bit from it. TADA
i've still got my all A's. slowly adjusting to highschool. im more active with swimming now. im happier now. except today was pretty....ugh.
some girls thought itd be so hilarious to throw stuff at my back. so ive been trying not to explode on people [eve ntho i did earlier this morning because the guy infront of me was being so so so annoying] and they just keep laughing and throwing stuff at me. so i just move. but it was like AAAAAAAAAAAAH ITS NOT FUNNY. another thing today was i found out im probably the only person who looks happy all the time and the only reason why i look down is lack of sleep.
haha so wrong. a couple of my friends were talking about vampire diaries and were yelling about hwo to pronounce stefan. all i did was say loudly "DUDE JUST SPELL OUT HIS NAME, U GUYS ARE GETTING ANNOYING" and then i get so many stares and some of my friends are like "wtf is wrong with liz? i mean, explode much?" so i just fumed in my little corner of the table.
but i got over that. what REALLY set me off was when this girl in my math class calls me a bitch for DEFENDING my friend when she said he was gay.
wait, what? yeah. thats right. and the thing is, HE'S NOT. and even more, HE FEELS UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN PEOPLE CALL HIM THAT. something about in middleschool people always called him gay and it affected him alot =/
all i said was "hey, kid, actually get to kno him before u start talking about him, he's NOT gay."
also--i want to make a button that says "i support homosexuals so they can be gay"
and ive also noticed that alot of girls are like "i support gay me ncus theyre hot" kidna makes me sad cus i wish they supported lesbians as well. and/or homosexuals as a whole. but hey, whatre u gunna do about it?
sigh~ but life has gotten alot better. i dont cry from stress as much. i actually have fun in those after school study sessions.
depression. its hurting me again. dear lord, please dont make it hurt as much as last time.
EDIT: 11/04/09. i've wanted to post so many things on here. theres so many things that got me mad since the first time i posted this post [10/24/09]. some happy. some sad. most sad. doctor's apointment tomorrow. current weight: too much in my eyes. current level of self-esteem: not too good.
current mood: as if the world was crashing on me. i got all A's on my report card. but it's costed me so much effort. too much effort. i want school to end. i want to get out of this place. i wish i were pretty, and skinny, and i wish people weren't so mean. but the thing about wishing is that it's all wishful thinking. i'll be lucky if the doctor doesn't tell me tomorrow that i'm killing myself with my eating habbits and lack of excersize. i want to go to swim practice so bad. i wish i didnt have so much homework and i wish it wouldnt keep increasing. but thats the thing with wishing. its all just wishful thinking.
take me back to 8th grade, what were my parents thinking starting me early? i'm not ready. i'll never be ready.
EDIT 2 : at least i dont feel like that all the time *points up* //goes back to homeowrk. SIGH
EDIT 3: oh, oh ,oh, of course you give a flu mist to THE ONE PERSON who hates getting medicine in any other ways but pils and shots, and after he leaves for college, you get the SHOT for the one person who can't stand the sight of needles.
MAKES PERFECT SENSE IN SCIENCE AND CHEMISTRY. doubleyewteaeff to the max. tyvm.
EDIT 4: dad, fuck you. okay? you have no idea what the hell im dealing with right now. stop yelling at me. its totally my damn fault that my room is a mess. that my homework isnt done. doesn't mean you gotta rub it into my face. just stop. you're making things worse. stop pressuring me. i dont wanna do that right now. and guess what? you waste my god damn time every time you yell at me for being stupid. for wasting time on the idiot box. just back off. like mom. get out, lock the doors, throw away your keys and dont retrieve them from the garbage dump until i get everything together.
why don't you try making a door out of fucking styrofoam, tape, and cardboard?
and reading this book trying to scrutinize every word to find some *hidden meaning*.
all i ask is that you stop.
i was checking my grades and i noticed that i had a B in my science class. AND FLIPPING GUESS WHY? because there were 2 fucking things that were named the same thing only one had the tiniest little green button underneath that said metric and i didn't catch on to that. the questions are EXACTLY THE SAME. the only difference is the green button. if i dont get an A in this class, i have to pay about 50 bucks for the rest of my iPod.
something ive noticed recently--all of my presents are things I bought MYSELF.
or at least with my money.
anyway ive got a billion projects to do and i just wanna sleep soooo bad.
im just hoping that my exam grades are good. i was sooooooooo uneasy with all of my exams. who's bright idea was it to have like all the exams on 2 days.
GAAAAAAAAAAAH.
g2g finish my work...
KTHNXBAI.
p.s. the fact that theres laws restricting homosexuals pisses me off. jus tbecause you have a certain atraction to a certain gender doesn't make you any less of a person. i think its stupid that other people are trying to control other's lives. girls in math piss me off.
whats worse is that i have to write about his death.
anyway. i REALLY hate my history teacher's assignments.
i really hated when the girl on the bus slammed her book into my chest.
i really hated when i had to get 5 points taken off my test.
i really hated that i was totally out of it today.
i really hated that the girls in latin were being bitches.
i really hated that i didn't finish my work in class.
i really loved the fact that i still have good friends.
i really loved the fact that they detected something was up and cheered me up.
i really loved the fact that people actually listen to me.
i really loved the fact that when people listened to me, they also followed what i had to say.
and really ,that outweighs the hates today.
because davey actually listened to me. that the kids in first period actually learned to shut up, and tlak when the times were appropriate.
