ya see, I don't know much about you guys and I don't really know everything.. but I know how to understand a person's heart.. and this is where it all began..
I have a lots of friends.. and those friends are all depending so much on me.. I was happy about it, I'm really happy that I could help even with just talking. but then I began to doubt my actions.. "is that what I call helping? All I do is speak unnecessary words and state facts that might happen.. giving them choices that will make them realize what's better and what's not.. was that even helping?!" I felt useless and stupid, "its not helping, its poking my nose in other's business and why should I even bother? do I really have to know it?" and then, this happened..
there is only one person whom I trust the most.. the one whom I thought that understands me.. So I told him almost everything.. and he would just listen and give me advice.. I was really happy then that there is actually someone whom I can turn to.. but then he suddenly confessed to me that he's tired and that he really doesn't have to listen to everything I say, that he really doesn't have to know it... It just hurted me so much that I closed my self to everyone.. I thought of myself as being a bother and that they really shouldn't have to know anything and everything about me.. but even though I smile.. even though I laugh, I can't deny the fact that it still hurts so much.. it feels like my heart is going to burst into pieces.. Its really hard to suffer in silence..
Then I began thinking back.. that's when I realize that I'm not The only one who felt that way.. that there are someone like me who can't open up to others.. and I don't want them to feel what I felt.. I don't want them to experience the same pain I've suffered. So I began to change for good.. This is why I always try my best to understand.. then my friends began to grow, that made me see more people needing me. This things made me more and more happier than before and it made me felt that I'm really blessed not only with friends but also with the Holy Spirit's gift of Understanding..
Then, I discovered theO, I used the opportunity to made this world a world that would benefit not only me but everyone..
I hope that those someone, would find the courage to open up to me and to others.. I want them to feel that there is still someone who is willing to listen to them.. someone whose willing to understand them.. someone who cares about them.. and is just waiting for them to realize that I am here ^^
Have a Wonderful Night..
-yoru
