Chibi Otaku (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 09/25/16 | Reply
The revisions you made to this chapter worked really well!
Don't Forget 3 Oct (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/10/13 | Reply
I'm going to have to reread and work on that in the next draft.
Call it karma. Call it luck. Me, I just don't give a... BOUNCE!
Chibi Otaku (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/10/13 | Reply
@Keba Si Rota:
It's just that the way it is right now, I had to go back and re-read, because I thought, "When did he make the hole?", then remembered he made it in the first draft. So it was a bit confusing. XD
Don't Forget 3 Oct (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/09/13 | Reply
Otaku Legend | Posted 10/09/13 | Reply
Marshall... YOU FOOL IN LOVE.
As long as I mentioned it at some point that he made the hole, I don't think I need to change anything. After all, in this draft, he and Naomi aren't as upfront about their powers.
Chibi Otaku (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/09/13 | Reply
Yup, you never said/showed that Marshall made the hole in the revision, but later on you referred to the fact that he made it.
I looked over the area that you were referring to. I did mention that there was a hole in the brick wall. Were you talking about the fact that he made the hole?
No problem! ^^b
Thank you for catching that! I'll fix it when I get the chance.
Grand Otaku | Posted 10/09/13 | Reply
Sounds like an amazing story, I'm going to come back to this when I have time to read!
Chibi Otaku (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/08/13 | Reply
I spotted a leftover from when you edited -- you talk about the hole Marshall made in the wall (in the original), but in the revision, it isn't shown fhat he made the hole.
Chibi Otaku (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/03/13 | Reply
Haha, I don't mind reading it again! XD
Don't Forget 3 Oct (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/02/13 | Reply
Oh, no! I was just going to post the rewritten draft. I'm afraid you might have to read it again.
Thanks for commenting, though.
Chibi Otaku (Otaku Eternal) | Posted 10/02/13 | Reply
Really enjoying this so far!