Welcome to my flat, it's a bit messy... try not to knock anything over.
- Created By Keisuke Sarutobi
Keisuke's List
(Since everyone's doing it) --- Ninjutsu Summoning Technique The Summoning Technique is a space–time ninjutsu that allows the summoner to ...First Encounter
"What's up with that white hair?"
"Look at those red eyes!"
"What are you, an Albino?"
"You look like a girl!"
"Are you crying?"
"How the hell are you gonna be a shinobi?"
Sitting on the ground with a circle of three fully grown bullies hovering over him, a young Mamoru Yukinojo cried with his hands firmly pressed into his ears. He tried to think of something else, tried to put the taunts of the older boys out of his mind. But the hands on his hair and skin set him completely on edge. He couldn't distract his thoughts from it. Their words just echoed in his head. So badly did he want to just crawl into a hole and die.
"Excuse me, what do you think you're doing?"
---
Keisuke Sarutobi. Grandson of the Third Hokage and a proud descendant of the Sarutobi clan. He's always been about justice and fair treatment. That's what he learned from his uncle. That was how he was raised. So when he heard the crude words of his classmates, he grew curious to what was going on. As he approached he couldn't see who they were picking on, but he knew they had to be stopped. He walked up right to them and put his arms around their shoulders.
"Excuse me, what do you think you're doing?"
With his knees to his chest and his hands over his ears, Keisuke regarded a familiar white haired classmate of his cowering in fear. Now that pissed him off. They were picking a fight with someone who couldn't defend himself. He couldn't stand it. But he'd let the bullies confess their indiscretions before he kicked their asses.
"It's none of your business, Sarutobi." One spat.
"Yeah, buzz off!" Another chimed in.
Keisuke ignored them and looked to the boy with a kind smile. "Are they bothering you?"
At first, he seemed confused. Then he the silverette lifted up his head and nodded. Even if he hadn't nodded, Keisuke would've kicked their asses anyway. The kids face was streamed with tears. Keisuke would be knocking some skulls together on principal alone.
"Why don't you mind your own business!" The last bully whined just as Keisuke pulled away from the ones he had his arms around and smashed their heads together. Before the third could even react Keisuke reached out and pulled him away from the kid they were picking on and brought him in for a headbutt.
In a blur of fists, Keisuke thoroughly clocked those idiots. He was already quite exceptional at taijutsu. Though he took a hit or two himself. They swore and they taunted him, but they weren't much of a match for him. Eventually he'd clobbered them so thoroughly that they decided to retreat. They probably had some broken noses they'd be attending to. Keisuke's knuckles were bloody from the contact.
"C'mon guys. If he's wants to protect his girlfriend so badly, let him!" One yelled before running off.
And instead of saying anything the other two followed. Leaving Keisuke panting and bleeding from the blows he'd received. Once he was sure that they weren't feigning he turned back to the silverette and walked over to him. Crouching down so they were eye level, Keisuke pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket.
"You okay?" He asked, handing the thin fabric over.
Having returned to his previous hiding position he looked up and took the handkerchief. "Yes... arigato..." He muttered, wiping his tears away.
Sensing that he was uneasy, Keisuke flashed a big grin. "My name's Keisuke, what's yours?"
"M-Mamoru." He offered hesitantly.
"They ever bother you again, Mamoru-san, you give me a shout, okay?" Keisuke said, his smile never wavering.
Still a bit shaken, Mamoru nodded. "Arigato, Keisuke-kun."
Little did the two know that from that day on, Keisuke'd be regularly saving Mamoru from his bullies. And through that they'd become the best of friends.
END
Just some little thing. Might post more of these as situations come together in my mind. Mamoru, feel free to do some as well. I just got bored, honestly. Oh well. Nothing wrong with writing. (Got a few more posts to get done as well) By the way we were eight here (time flies).
HAPPY F***ING BIRTHDAY
In the middle of a dense cloud of white flour, a young man angrily stared at a bowl of cake batter in front of him. All around his apartment were stray ingredients. Butter was stuck to the walls, strawberries were littered all over the floor, cream seemed to have been thrown across the apartment in clumps, and there were broken eggs splattered everywhere. The man's right eye twitched. If something didn't start going his way in the next few minutes, bodies would hit the floor.
Fed up with his futile attempts, he pulled out his phone and angrily punched in a friends number. "Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up."
"Hello?" A feminine voice said curiously.
"Kimiko. I'm about ready to kill something."
"Why? What's going on?"
"I'm..." He paused then spat out, "baking."
For a few seconds she didn't say anything but then said, "I'm on my way."
She was there the moment the line went dead. But she wasn't ready for the pure carnage around her... if massacring flour and sugar could count as carnage. She regarded the young man shaking in frustration, she took a step towards him when a sneeze stopped her. She looked down at a small white kitten tripping over itself and continually sneezing away the film of flour that covered its nose. Carefully Kimiko kneeled down and picked it up, realising that the kitten wasn't white, but a dark brown and covered head to tail with flour.
"Keisuke..." Kimiko asked as she stood. "What's going on?"
With a sneer he looked at her over his shoulder and pointed an accusatory finger at a cookbook to his right. "We are going to make this fucking cake if it kills me."
Kimiko didn't really know how to respond to that so she just stood there blinking in confusion. As far as she knew Keisuke had never really attempted to cook anything more difficult than stir-fry, let alone bake. So she didn't understand why he was so determined. But by the looks of his apartment he wasn't going to let a cake win without a fight.
"What are you standing around for!" Keisuke shouted. "Move move move!"
Being thoroughly startled, Kimiko almost dropped the little kitten in her arms. She frantically looked around for someplace to put it when Keisuke leaned over and pointed to his head. Taking that as an invitation, she placed the kitten atop his skull and he immediately stood up straight and turned back to the bowl in front of him.
"Let's fucking do this."
---
As Kimiko talked Keisuke through the recipe she was absolutely appalled by how little the young Sarutobi knew about cooking. She was almost left speechless by his naive words.
"What do you mean, don't let any eggshell into the mixture. I get eggshells in my eggs all the time and it doesn't bother me."
"... sift. How the hell do I sift flour. Why do I need to sift it. Why is that a thing."
"Seriously? I need to follow the steps? I've just been throwing all the ingredients into one big bowl and hoping it turns out okay."
"Don't mix wet ingredients with dry ingredients? Then how the fuck is it all supposed to come together?"
"WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS. WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT. THIS ISN'T BRAIN SURGERY. IT'S A FUCKING CAKE."
Then a few bad batches and an entire cake on the ceiling later and Keisuke and Kimiko managed to bake up a nice-ish looking dessert. But them came the icing. That was a whole other monster for Keisuke. Then came decorating. Kimiko had to stop him from punching holes in the wall when that didn't go as easily as expected either. In the end, the cake turned out alright. A vanilla-chocolate marble cake with whipped cream frosting and decorated with strawberries.
Now that they were finally done, Kimiko decided to ask, "What brought this all on anyways?"
Keisuke, thoroughly exhausted from his spouts of anger, took a bit longer than usual to answer. "It's Mamoru's birthday tomorrow. This is his favourite cake. Thought I'd try to make it." He panted a little. "Didn't think it'd be this hard..."
"It's for Mamoru...?" Kimiko asked, a little shocked. "Does that mean you two are...?"
Instead of answering, Keisuke nodded groggily.
Extremely pleased by her two babies reconciling their friendship, Kimiko threw herself into his arms and kissed him lightly on the lips. She didn't even mean to, it just happened. And Keisuke was just too tired to really resist.
"Is it done?" He asked. "Completely? Like... can I go give it to him?"
Kimiko nodded so Keisuke quickly grabbed for the cake before vanishing into thin air and reappearing outside Mamoru's window. It was midday, he was probably getting ready to pick up his siblings from the bus stop. Or, hopefully, he was already enroute. With that in mind Keisuke quickly slipped into Mamoru's room, placed the cake on his nightstand with a note, and slipped back out again. He wasn't in the mood to explain himself.
By the time Keisuke got back to his apartment, Kimiko was already gone. Keisuke thanked his lucky stars for that. He just wanted to smoke a cigarette and take a shower. But first he leaned his back against the counter and slid down to the floor. Maybe a nap wouldn't be bad either. Almost immediately he drifted off. Not even bothering to clean up the icing dripping from his hair.
His last thought before he completely blacked out was what he wrote on Mamoru's card. A simple phrase that surely summed up his frustration with his cake. Happy Fucking Birthday.
END
Just a birthday post for Mamoru. If you want to say something buddy, go for it.
Oh why not
Level 1:
(x) Smoked a cigarette
(x) Smoked a cigar
(x) Kissed a member of the same sex he'll deny it if you ask
(x) Drank alcohol
Total: 4
Level 2:
(x) Are/Been in love
( ) Been dumped
(x) Shoplifted
( ) Been fired
(x) Been in a fist fight
Total: 7
Level 3:
(x) Had a crush an older person
(x) Skipped school
(x) Slept with a co-worker
(x) Seen something/someone die
Total: 13
Level 4:
( ) Had a crush on one of your facebook friends
( ) Been to Paris
( ) Been to Spain
( ) Been on a plane
( ) Thrown up from drinking
Total: 13
Level 5:
(x) Eaten sushi
( ) Been snowboarding
( ) Met someone BECAUSE of facebook/myspace
( ) Been in a mosh pit
Total: 14
Level 6:
(x) Taken pain killers
(x) Loved/liked someone you can't have
(x) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) Made a snow angel
Total: 18
Level 7:
( ) Had a tea party
( ) Flown a kite
(x) Built a sand castle
( ) Gone mudding
( ) Played dress up
Total: 19
Level 8:
(x) Jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) Gone sledging (I'm going to assume this is meant to be sledding because sledging is a term in cricket for taunting your opponent)
(x) Cheated while playing a game
(x) Been lonely
(x) Fallen asleep at work/school
Total: 24
Level 9:
(x) Watched the sunset
(x) Felt an earthquake
(x) Killed a snake
Total: 27
Level 10:
(x) Been tickled
(x) Been robbed/vandalized
( ) Been cheated on
(x) Been misunderstood
Total: 30
Level 11:
( ) Won a contest
(x) Been suspended from school
(x) Had detention
( ) Been in a car/motorcylce accident
Total: 32
Level 12:
( ) Had/have braces
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
( ) Danced in the moonlight
Total: 32
Level 13:
(x) Hated the way you look
(x) Witnessed a crime
(x) Pole danced heh
(x) Questioned your heart
( ) Been obsessed with post it notes
Total: 36
Level 14:
(x) Swished barefoot through the mud
(x) Been lost
( ) Been to the opposite side of the world
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Felt like you were dying every damn day
Total: 40
Level 15:
(x) Cried yourself to sleep I will cut you
( ) Played cops and robbers
( ) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) Sang karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with only coins
Total: 43
Level 16:
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Kissed in the rain! I've pretty much kissed everywhere you can think of
Total: 47
Level 17:
( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Watched the sun set and/or sun rise with someone you care/cared about
( ) Blown bubbles
(x) Made a bonfire on the beach
Total: 48
Level 18:
(x) Crashed a party
( ) Have traveled more than 5 days in a car full of people
( ) Gone roller- skating/blading
( ) Had a wish come true
(x) Been humped by a monkey ... when Emu was young
Total: 50
Level 19:
( ) Worn pearls
(x) Jumped off a bridge
( ) Screamed "penis" or "vagina"
(x) Swam with dolphins
Total: 52
Level 20:
(x) Got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube
( ) Kissed a fish
(x) Worn the opposite sex's clothes
(x) Sat on a roof top
Total: 55
Level 21:
(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) Done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel
( ) Talked on the phone for more than four hours
( ) Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about
Total: 57
Level 22:
(x) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) Climbed a tree
(x) Have/been in a tree house
(x) Been too scared to watch scary movies alone
Total: 61
Level 23:
(x) Believed in ghosts FUCK GHOSTS, OKAY
( ) Have had more than 30 pairs of shoes
( ) Gone streaking
(x) Visited jail
Total: 63
Level 24:
(x) Played chicken
(x) Been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) Broke a bone
(x) Been easily amused
Total: 67
Level 25:
(x) Caught a fish then ate it later
(x) Made a porn movie I didn't know about it until after
( ) Caught a butterfly
(x) Laughed so hard you cried
( ) Cried so hard you laughed
Total: 70
Level 26:
(x) Mooned/flashed someone forgot about that
( ) Had someone moon/flash you
( ) Cheated on a test
( ) Forgotten someone's name
( ) French braided someone's hair
(x) Gone skinny dipping
(x) Been kicked out of your house
Total: 73
Level 27:
( ) Rode a roller coaster
( ) Went scuba-diving / snorkeling
(x) Black-mailed someone
(x) Been black-mailed
( ) Had a cavity
Total: 75
Level 28:
(x) Been used
(x) Fell going up the stairs
(x) Licked by a cat
(x) Bitten someone
(x) Licked someone ...
Total: 80
Level 29:
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Flattened someone's tires
( ) Rode your bike/driven your car until the fuel light came on
( ) Got five pounds or less worth of fuel
(x) Had sex in the rain not saying who with
Total: 81
*scratches his head* Aired out some dirty laundry here...
End
