- Created By KayuraWolfwood
Wut it do
goshness, i wanna go home. the classroom is cold so that the kids will cover up and go to sleep. It's pretty effective, but the downside is that i forgot my sweater. anyhoo, i don't feel like much of a post, so i'll leave ya'll a few jokes:
A state trooper is driving down the highway when he sees a truck driver pull over, walk to the side of the truck with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck a few times, and then drive away. A couple of miles down the road the driver does the same thing. A few more miles, same thing. The trooper pulls the truck over and asks the driver to explain. The driver says, “Well, the load limit is ten tons, and I’m carrying fifteen tons of parakeets, so I’ve got to keep some of them flying around.”
When a fellow called a motel and asked how much they charged for a room, the clerk told him that the rates depended on room size and number of people. “Do you take children?” the man asked.
“No, sir,” replied the clerk. “Only cash and credit cards.”
During basic army training, a sergeant was telling his group how a submachine gun sprayed bullets. He drew a circle on a blackboard and announced that it had 260 degree. “But, sergeant, all circles have 360 degrees,” called out a conscript. “Don’t be stupid,” the sergeant roared. “This is a small circle.”
After a hard day of drilling, the drill sergeant let the troops go. "All right, you idiots, report to the mess hall." Everybody walked away, sweating and their heads down, thankful for the end of the hard day. Only one private remained. He looked at the officer and sincerely said, "Boy, there sure were a lot of them, huh, serge."
This Sux
man, a kid was caught downloading stuff that they weren't supposed to on a school computer, and now the school district is blocking lots of sites, including hotmail and myotaku. that sux yo! so i'm gonna have to use this place a bit more often since i can't use much else. anyhoo, i'll see ya later!!
Do you believe in Him?
I got an email from my cousin in Chicago the other day. I thought it was pretty interesting, so I decided to pass it along:
* DID YOU KNOW THESE FACTS ? *
* I SURE DIDN'T TILL NO W *
Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death !
Make a personal reflection about this . . .
Very interesting, read until the end . . .
It is written in the Bible ( Galatians 6:7 ):
' Be not deceived; God is not mocked:
For whatsoever a man soweth,
That shall he also reap. '
Here are some men and women
Who mocked God :
* John * * * * Lennon * * ( Singer ): *
Some years before, during his interview
with an American Magazine, he said:
' Christianity will end, it will disappear.
I do not have to argue about
That . I am certain.
Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, < BR>
Today we are More famous than Him ' ( 1966 ).
Lennon, after saying
that the Beatles were more famous than
Jesus Christ, was shot six times.
* Tancredo Neves * * ( President of Brazil ): *
During the Presidential campaign,
he said if he got 500,000 Votes from his party,
not even God would remove him from
Presidency.
Sure he got the votes,
but he got sick a day before being
Made President, then he died.
* Cazuza *
* ( Bi - sexual Brazilian composer,
singer and poet ): *
During A show in Canecio ( Rio de Janeiro ),
While smoking his cigarette,
he puffed out some smoke
Into the air and said:
' God, that's for you. '
He died at the age of 32
of AIDS in a horrible manner.
* * The man who built the Titanic * *
After the construction of Titanic,
a reporter asked him how
Safe the Titanic would be.
With an ironic tone he said:
' Not even God can sink it '
The result:
I think you all know what happened
to the Titanic .
* Marilyn Monroe * (Actress) *
She was visited by Billy Graham
during a presentation of a Show.
He said the Spirit of God
had sent him to preach to her.
After hearing what the Preacher had to say,
she said:
' I don't need your Jesus '.
A week later,
she was found dead in her apartment .
* * Bon Scott * * ( Singer ) *
The ex - vocalist of the AC / DC.
On one of his 1979 songs he
Sang :
' Don't stop me,
I'm going down all the way,
down the highway
To hell '.
On the 19th of February 1980 ,
Bon Scott was found dead,
he Had been choked by his own vomit.
* * Campinas * * ( IN 2005 ) *
In Campinas , Brazil ,
a group of friends, drunk,
went to pick up
A friend . . .
The mother accompanied her t o the car
and was so worried About the drunkenness
of her friends and she said to the
Daughter holding her hand,
who was already seated in the car:
' My Daughter, Go With God An May He Protect You. '
She responded:
' Only If He ( God ) Travels In The Trunk,
Cause Inside Here - - - It's Already Full. '
Hours later, news came by
that they had been involved in a
Fatal accident, everyone had died,
The car could not be recognize
what type of car it had been,
But surprisingly, the trunk was intact.
The police said there was no way the trunk
could have Remained intact.
To their surprise, inside the trunk was a Crate of eggs, none was broken .
* * Christine Hewitt * *
(Jamaican Journalist and entertainer)
said
The Bible ( Word of God )
was the worst book ever written.
In June 2006, she was found burnt
beyond recognition in her Motor vehicle .
Many more important people have forgotten
that there is no Other name that was given
so much authority as the name of Jesus.
Many have died,
but only Jesus died and rose again,
and he Is still alive . * ' Jesus ' *
On a lighter note,
Jokes
A preacher was standing at the pulpit giving his Sunday sermon when a note was passed to him. The only word written on the sheet was IDIOT. Looking up at the congregation, the preacher smiled and said: I have heard of men who write letters and forget to sign their names but this is the first time I will see a man sign his name and forget to write the letters.
An elderly couple is beginning to notice that neither of them seem to be able to remember things as well as they used to. So, they go to see their doctor, who explains that there is nothing really wrong with, just typical memory loss associated with old age. He suggests that they each get notebooks and write notes to themselves to help remember things. The couple goes home and that evening while watching T.V. the man gets up and heads for the kitchen. His wife asks if he can bring her some ice cream when he returns. He says he will, and she says he should write it down. "I’m just going to the kitchen, I'll remember." "Well, I want that with nuts, too." "O.K. he says ice cream with nuts." She asks again if he's going to write it down. "No, I'm just going to the kitchen." "And a Cherry on the top?" He agrees and turns toward the kitchen again and she asks again about writing it down. Now the old man is angry, "Look, old lady I'm not senile, I can remember ice cream with nuts and a cherry on top." He goes in the kitchen for 10 minutes and when he returns he sets a plate of bacon and eggs in front of his wife. She looks up and says, "Honey, you forgot my toast."
A married woman has a lover. It’s no secret, her husband and all their friends know about it. One day, the woman suddenly dies. At the funeral, to the embarrassment of all, the boyfriend is there and is crying hysterically. Finally, the husband can't take anymore of it. He approaches the man, puts his arms around him and says "Please don't carry on like this. I'll marry again.”
Wednesday
i don't like coming up with titles for a post.
yep. anyhoo, i've noticed that quite a few people have made the transition to Version Vibrant. you know, i don't really feel like makin a real post, so i'll just leave a few jokes for ya.
A man who had come out of a complicated abdominal surgery was complaining of having a bump on his head and a terrible headache. The nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post operative shock, spoke to the surgeon about it. The doctor assured the nurse, “don’t worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway into the operation we ran out of anesthetic.”
"An aide to the prime minister of Canada called President Bush a moron. Well that's not fair. Here's a guy who never worked a day in his life, got rich off his Dad's money, lost the popular vote and ended up president. That's not a moron, that's genius!"
Jay Leno
MyO
wow. where has everyone gone on MyO? hardly anyone posts anymore. i guess maybe that's why i don't, it seems pretty pointless. has everyone moved to VV? anyhoo, getting away from the MyO thing, i have moved in with my boyfrend, if ya'll remember who he is (manuel?) and i'm also expecting his baby. we got our marriage license Tuesday after i got off work. well, that's pretty much it for now. i'll ttyl!!
Jokes
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."
A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas." The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?" The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box."
“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled the motorist as the police clerk handed him a receipt for his traffic violation.
“Keep it,” the clerk advises. “When you get four of them, you get a bicycle.”
