My name is Samantha and I usually go by Sami. I'm a total dork, crazy and random. Yeah, I'm pretty awesome ^_~
Some facts about me:
My birthday is December 21, 1991.
My parents are divorced, and I just refer to my dad as Donnie. And sometimes my mom as Sherry, depends on if we're fighting or not.
I have a younger sister and an older sister. My younger sister used to have an account on theO but she has abandoned us XD
I live in Ohio.
I'm a Christian.
I've had problems with depression so occasionally things can get a little dark here. But I'm doing much better now.
I go to an AMAZING church. I can't get there very often, but I go whenever I can.
I do not have a boyfriend as of yet. But I'm in the market ;p
I am very random. VERY. Crazy and I love it. So be prepared ^^
I like to write fanfics and random stories. I have a fanfic on my other world and it will be finished eventually, I swear!! Just... Don't hold your breath, ne?
I love music.
I've been home schooled since the tenth grade and recently graduated high school.
I have a kitty named Artemis. He's my baby and he's what helped me through my depression the most.
I babysit and I like to talk about the baby and post pictures because while I may not have the "math gene" I definitely got a double dose of the "mothering gene."
My email is [email protected] if you want to email me. Please do, because I never get email. BUT ABSOLUTELY NO CHAIN MAIL!!!
- Created By Kakashisgf
Danger (another short story)
Since you guys liked "The Wedding Dress", I thought I'd post this too. I wrote this a couple months ago. This is actually taken from a scene in the story my best friend and I are writing. So Billy's dad's dialogue is credited to Beky. I just expanded on it and added details of what they were doing. Our story is written like this:
Billy's Dad: Says something. *does something*
Billy: Also says something. *also does something*
So all I had to do was add to it a bit. By the way, by reading these short stories, you guys are getting a sneak peek of my book, Cursed Sleep :D BUY IT WHEN IT'S PUBLISHED PLEASE!
Here is "Danger":
Danger. The word itself isn’t really scary. But after what I’ve been through, it makes me shudder.
I’m afraid of my dad. I always have been. I’ve seen him beat my ma ever since I was a kid. When I got older I did my best to protect her, and I got a beating worse than he would have given her. Sometimes he’d stop paying child support and I’d blackmail him to get him to pay again. I’d threaten to tell his boss or new girlfriend about all the court orders we had against him. I had a copy of every single one, hidden in a shoebox under my floorboards where he couldn’t find it if he came over.
Once when he beat my ma I yanked him off of her and punched him. He slammed my head into the cabinet corner. Ma said she’d never seen so much blood, and the doctor said I would’ve been dead if I got to the hospital ten minutes later. One time when I blackmailed my dad he threatened my ma with a gun. That was when we moved.
Of course, just our luck, he found Ma at a gas station when she was topping off her tank. I came home from work and found her in bed, beaten and bloody, trying to light a cigarette. I remember how my voice cracked when I told her she was gonna burn the house down. I hated it.
She gave me the cigarette to light and told me what happened. He saw her at the gas station and grabbed her by the arm. He dragged her around behind the building and just… Whaled on her. I begged her to go to the hospital but she didn’t want to. Said the cops wouldn’t help, Dad was in with them and there had been one watching him beat her. I lost it, begged and cried. I mean, I’m just fourteen. I couldn’t stand seeing my mama like that. She went to the hospital. I felt guilty; my breaking down made her feel like a bad mother, but I was glad she went.
The next day was the day I almost died. I went to see my dad. I know it was crazy, a fourteen-year-old boy against a grown man, but you didn’t see what he did to her. You would’ve done the same.
I knocked, ‘cuz even though he’s a bastard my ma taught me to be polite. He answered and sort of grinned.
“What, you want me to make you black and blue too?”
Of course he knew why I was there.
“Stay the hell away from my ma.”
He smirked again and called her a word that I ain’t gonna repeat. That was when I punched him. He stumbled back and called me a bastard.
“You little bastard,” was what it was. “We’ll see if you survive this time.” He punched me in the chest and I couldn’t breathe, I just kept gagging and coughing. I wanted to punch him back but I could barely move.
“Stupid kid. I hope I kill you this time.” He punched me hard in the jaw and I tasted blood.
No way I was going down so easy. I stumbled backwards but then I lurched forward and tackled him. It must have been adrenaline or something, ‘cuz I know I ain’t that strong. He fell and made a weird noise, like his breath cut off. But he recovered quick and kneed me in the stomach. That made me gag, but I was pissed by now. I was on top of him and it was easy to slam my knee into his crotch.
“Ah!” He curled up and hollered for a second, but got up faster than I thought he would. “You little bastard.” He got his hands around my throat and started choking me.
That was the worst feeling I’ve ever had. I felt hot and my chest hurt, and I couldn’t get his hands off no matter how hard I pulled. It was only for a second but it felt much longer. He dropped me on the floor and I couldn’t stand; I just coughed. He started kicking me over and over again. I called him something I’d be ashamed to tell my mother.
“You started it, bastard.” His favorite word to call me.
“I hate you.” I’d never said it before, never thought about it, but it was true.
“Yeah, yeah.” He sounded bored, like this was nothing. “You wouldn’t hate me if your mama would’ve gotten rid of you like I told her to. I was even gonna pay.”
I didn’t know anything about that. I wasn’t real surprised. I knew he didn’t want me but Ma would never have told me that and confirmed it. I stumbled up to stand as best I could.
“She loves me.”
“I know, that’s why she wouldn’t do it. Too bad.”
I lunged at him, caught him by surprise, and punched him in the head as hard as I could. It didn’t effect him much; I was still pretty weak and still trying to catch my breath. He shoved me off easily. So I bit him on the arm. Hard.
“What’s wrong with you!” He punched me in the back of the head but I wouldn’t let go. No way was I gonna let go. Nobody hurts my ma, much less that sorry excuse for a man.
That was when he pulled his gun out. He put it to my head and that made me let go. I knew he’d do it. I was scared, but I wasn’t gonna back down completely. I called him that word again. My ma would be ashamed of me if she knew.
“What was that?” He cocked the gun.
“You heard me.”
“Be nice. I don’t want to call your mama and tell her to come pick up the pieces.”
“I hate you. I wish you’d die.” I was shaking and he could see it. I knew I should shut up, he really would kill me, I couldn’t do that to Ma, but I hated him so much. I couldn’t stop.
“Hm… Maybe I should kill you.”
“I don’t care.”
“I don’t want to waste a bullet.” He put the gun away and started to strangle me again. I got that hot feeling and I panicked. I started clawing at his hands, but he just smiled and squeezed tighter. I couldn’t breathe at all. I kicked out and managed to connect with his crotch, but I was weak. He pressed his thumb into my throat and I started to gag. I saw black spots and I got so scared. I knew I was about to die. He was smiling the whole time. I didn’t want his face to be the last thing I ever saw. That was what I was thinking right as I passed out.
After that, I don’t know what happened. I woke up on the side of the road. Maybe he thought I was dead and he dumped me, or maybe he just got tired of it when I couldn’t fight back. Whatever it was, I thanked God for it. I recognized the road, so I was able to make my way to Ma’s boyfriend’s house. Rex is a good guy. He put me in his bed and gave me a shot of vodka for the pain.
I begged, and he agreed not to tell Ma. It bothered him, I could tell, but I knew what it would do to my ma if she found out what Dad had done to me. Especially if she knew I had gone looking for him and it was because she was hurt. She’d think it was her fault and never forgive herself.
Rex swung by the house to get some of my stuff, and he told her I’d wanted to spend some time with him so I was staying the weekend. Ma thought that was a great idea, and I told her the same thing when she called. I didn’t want to lie. But I guess if she finds out she’ll forgive me, and God will too.
I’d never felt so close to death before. “Danger” is a real concept to me now, and it scares me. But I have to protect my ma. And I know Rex will protect me. We all have each other, and I pray all the time that my dad will leave us alone, so I know God is keeping an eye on us. My nightmares keep coming, and guns scare me when they never did before, but I think it’ll be okay. As long as I have Ma, I’ll be okay.
So there you go. A bit longer than the last one. Remember, people, comments are like crack for me. FEED THE ADDICTION.
Poem/Challenge Entry
Well, I wrote this poem I'd say about... Three, four years ago. This was when my depression was very bad. I wrote poems a lot then. This is an entry for the Emotional Writing challenge by shannenking. It doesn't have a title. I should say, I never let people read my poetry. Never. I entered a poem in a library writing contest once, but I wouldn't read it at the awards ceremony when they asked me to. So please be nice.
Is a family still a family
When the father doesn't care?
Is a family still a family
When the mother's never there?
The father never comes around.
When he does, he just stares.
The TV's easier to listen to
Than his children who are there.
The mother never listens
When you tell her why you're scared.
Something's always more important
Than why you're standing there.
Is a family still a family
When no one seems to care?
Is my family still a family
Or are we all just living here?
So that's my poem. I hope it's good ^^"
The Wedding Dress
This is a little story I wrote last night when I couldn't sleep. I think it took me like an hour. The whole story is based off of a paper doll dress drawn by Liana Kerr. http://www.joechip.net/liana/2010/10/26/bloodstained-wedding-gown-temporary/ Go look at it. Right now. Look at all her stuff. LIANA IS AMAZING. Seriously, I bought Prismacolor colored pencils just to color the black and white dresses she posts.
Here's the story, titled "The Wedding Dress".
“Your dress is so beautiful, princess. You’re a beautiful bride.” The servant helped the princess drape her veil just right.
“Yes, I suppose it is. Thank you.” The princess looked at herself in the mirror. It was true; the dress was beautiful on her. The creamy whiteness contrasted with her deep brown skin, and her black hair peeked through the silk veil. The pale floral embroidery on the overskirt and sleeves was just the right touch. The black ribbon sash stood out surprisingly against the white dress, but somehow it was fitting. She was indeed a beautiful bride.
“King Marcos is lucky to have you,” her handmaid continued. “I’m sure you’ll have lovely children.”
“I doubt that.”
“Oh… Princess Mara… Maybe he’ll be a good husband.”
Mara smoothed her skirt and adjusted the sash. She looked in the mirror again. A beautiful bride.
“I suppose you’re right. I’ll have to give him a chance.” She rested her hand on her sash where a small dagger was hidden.
She had no intention of making it to her wedding night.
Princess Mara stood at the doors to the church. The long dress just brushed the tips of her satin slippers. Her hands were shaking as she took her bouquet from her mother.
“Just relax, dear,” the queen said, kissing her forehead. “You’ll be happy. You look beautiful; your dress is lovely.”
“Thank you, Mother.”
“I just wish you hadn’t chosen black flowers,” her mother fussed. “It’s so depressing. This is a happy day.”
“They’re black and purple.” Mara held her flowers in both hands to keep them from shaking. “I like them.”
“Whatever makes you happy, Mara. The music is starting. Go to your husband.”
Princess Mara took a deep breath as the doors opened. The church was all decorated in deep purple with hints of black, just like her flowers. Even her fiancée’s waistcoat was purple. Another deep breath before walking to him.
King Marcos was a tyrant. Everyone knew it. He amused himself by tormenting his servants. War was a game to him. He thought nothing of sending hundreds of soldiers into a death trap of a battle. Mara’s marriage to him was political, nothing more. With her as his wife, Marcos agreed never to attack her country. She had no choice.
But you do have a choice, the weight of her dagger reminded her with every step closer to him. Mara’s hands clenched on her bouquet. Not yet. Not yet. She reached him.
Marcos let his eyes slide over her, not trying to hide his lust.
“What a dress,” he said appreciatively. “It makes you look beautiful.”
The priest began. Mara felt faint. She vaguely heard King Marcos take her as his bride, and she responded in kind. She felt the cold ring slip over her finger like a miniature handcuff. She gave Marcos his ring.
There was no reception. Marcos didn’t want to waste any time getting to the honeymoon, and what the king wanted, he got. He whisked the princess away to his bedroom immediately and shrugged off his formal coat.
“Let me see what you’re hiding under that beautiful dress,” he smirked.
“No.”
The king’s eyes went hard. “What was that?”
“I said no.”
Mara’s face stung with a sudden slap.
“You’ll do as I say. I’m your husband.”
“Not by my choice.”
Another slap, and Mara’s beautiful dress was torn. Marcos pulled at the overskirt, ripping a long hole into the fabric. It hung by the stitches still attached to the bodice.
“Stop!” Mara shoved him. He came back at her and grabbed a handful of hair. Her sleeve was the next to go. It barely hung off her shoulder, the delicate embroidery ruined. She tried to run. The door was so close.
Marcos grabbed her sash and yanked her back before the delicate fabric ripped in his hands. The sash slipped down and Mara’s dagger fell out, landing on the floor with a heavy clunk! The king stared at it.
“What were you planning?!” He lunged for the dagger but the nimble princess beat him to it.
“You will not touch me!” She held the dagger defensively. She made quite a sight: veil slipping out of her hair, dress torn and ruined, carefully chosen flowers forgotten. “I didn’t bring it for you.”
The king was seething.
“Give it to me now before you do something you regret, stupid girl.”
Mara spit in his face. Marcos lunged at her, but couldn’t twist away fast enough to avoid the princess’s dagger. It slit open his chest just above his heart. The king fell, his blood pooling around Princess Mara’s feet. It took only seconds for him to bleed out.
Mara looked down at her dress. The hem was splattered and soaked in blood. She looked at the dead man lying at her feet. She couldn’t go home. There was nothing for her here.
She thrust the dagger into her chest. Another red stain spread over the torn fabric as she fell.
It was a shame. It was a beautiful dress.
Thank you for reading! I'm always looking for feedback so please please comment ^^
Pray
Just found out my good friend Janet is getting evicted. She has until the end of the year to leave. She has to get rid of her dogs. Maybe her cats. She has nowhere to go. No job. She said it's good that she doesn't have a gun and she thought about running her car off the road. Why the hell do all my friends want to kill themselves.
It's hot down stairs X_X
Well, it looks like I'm going to meet Shelley (the new step mom) on the 23rd. I'm going to my niece's birthday party and she and Donnie will be there. I'm kinda looking forward to meeting her. Seeing Donnie... Not so much. But I won't be rude. I'm spending that whole weekend with my sister. We're getting along great now and I'm so happy :)
In other news, I'm apparently no longer Alicia's babysitter. I was supposed to babysit for her aunt but I got sick and canceled. Well she just pitched a fit and said she wasn't going to ask me again and didn't care if I was sick. So I texted Sam, Tim's old roommate. Sam is like a sister to me. She handled it well :) I know the aunt will ask me again. She'll just text me one day, no apology, and ask me to babysit. And I will tell her no, and I will enjoy it. I've bent over backwards to kiss her @$$ and do everything I could for her, for free, to make sure I could have contact with Alicia. Well no more. I don't need the aunt to see Alicia. I'll still see her through Sam. Sam has her a lot since she has custody of Alicia's sister. This aunt is the one that needs me, I don't need her. And I'm tired of being taken advantage of. And I saved the texts she sent me. She didn't care I was sick and would willingly have taken the baby she has custody of into a home where people are extremely ill? (My mom had bronchitis too and she knew that.) I think someone may be interested in that someday. Maybe a judge. We'll call it insurance. She's still not sure she can keep Alicia and if she can't I'm going to petition for custody myself. So a judge might want to see that. Even if I never get custody, Alicia will always be like my daughter, even though I'm not actually her mother.
Early picture of Alicia:
She's about three months old there. She's nine months now but I don't have a recent picture on the computer yet.
Time for the random thought of the day!
Today's Random Thought: My random thought got mad that I was seeing other random thoughts and left me. But at least I got the car.
