My poem-thingies go here, as well as lil things I'm interested in :]

nothinnn'

Nothing

I dreamt
Of a narrow hall;
Lit by bleak candlelight;
It sparked, and then died again.

It beckoned me to come.

Anxiety swallowed me
Deafening, my heart palpitated
And disturbed the stale air.

Only foot forward
Into dismal wonder,
Yet ground beneath me
Wrecked itself
And I fell through a thousand pieces—
Each flickering
In and out.

I felt myself
Barely there.
Decayed and then nothing.

I dreamt
Of a narrow hall,
And it led no where.

pffffffff, who needs titles.

I cradle my spirit at night
And share my affection with stars unseen.
Prop myself up with cards
Against the moonlight-- I’ll find peace
In fixations that define me.

Moments are chilling— at best.
I can sense the weight of my soul;
See the void before me.
Hear the lack of will
In silence.
Way down in the hole,
There’s no feeling at all.

----------

I'm sort of tired. Mostly bummed but I don't totally understand why.
Well, yes I do; but not really.

Boiling Point

Boiling Point

Choke;
I break under your fixed stare.

Overbearing;
I can’t bear the weight
Of my own hate.
Bite on open wounds.
I can feel your anger too.

To pieces,
My purpose is blurred.
Boiling
And I’m holding back tears.
It’s despair when
You’re around.

----------it's been a crappy couple of days.

Time: 9:58 p.m.

Conscience

Wonder.
Doubt is raised
Through the cracks in your path.
Reflect.
Since when did it matter
How they looked at you?

Hesitate,
To find yourself dragged though the dirt,
The slush of mainstream.
They’ll chisel and scrape at what made you so strong.

Understand what's real in the world
Lest your visions be dirtied by labels.

Maybe then, you can find yourself.

But when the fog sets in;
The mind is prey to temptation.
Shroomes will replace lucidity,
Lust will devour,
Ambiance glows a pitiful green.
Capitulate and fiends will replace you with a fool.

A lost carcass
Doubling over to read starry nights,
Toiling over numbers and tea leaves,
Troubled, to find their spirit dry.

Sacrifice.
What you hold dear
Will be lost between roads.
Hold on.
Below, forsaken souls. . .
Fell within the cracks.
Prayers howl in the winds above.
A fork;
Your last decision
Before your demise
Or true discovery.

- - - - - - - - - -

Hmm. I dunno O_o.
I wanted to focus on one thing... it might've helped if I knew what that one specific thing was. I went to all different points that I don't feel like explaining now.

Bleh ~>> tired.

I usually don't do rhyming (cuz I suck @ it so badly) but. . .

My Deluded Reverie

How would you feel if you knew the real me?
The devilish, lying, whorish me. . . .

Maybe I was afraid to let you through,
So to my fortress I destroyed the key.

But the hiding,
It left me so empty.

I needed a home,
Somewhere to live freely.

It was far off,
No one could reach it, not she nor he.

And I imagined up some people
That were just as screwed up as me.

My fumes were vented
And I lived on-or acted-happily.

What was left
Was a dirty trail of blood- and misery.

But I could not leave it forsaken,
Abandon anything but my dirty, secret laundry.

I sunk ever deeper
Into my Deluded Reverie.