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- Created By ched
Commissioned Portraits
Did I told you guys before that I also do commisioned artworks, especially portraits ever since highschool! From the very first time I did a paid artwork until today, I guess I have created hundreds of artworks now owned by different people (& I don't have any idea where to find them so I can take photos of my treasured artworks).
Last month I did these two photos...
Somebody out there who are professionals, I'm asking for tutorials PLEASE!
I know, I still lack some technics! (^_^?
I'm still obliged to finish 4 more couple portraits, UNTIL Dec. 10!
(O_o.....
AaaAaAaAah! I need miracle! Dec. 10 as deadline is absolutely not enough for me to finish these stuffs! How can I budget the time of a poor artist who is also regularly working as accounting assistant & doing mountain of laundries at home? WaaaaAaAaH! I badly need a rain of Miracle! I wish Card Captor Sakura lend me her Time Clow Card & let me extend a month! (^_^?
Wish me luck guys! (!_!?
Let us pray for their justice
November 23, 2009...
This is the most recent dreadful day in the Philippine History.
The Maguindanao Massacre, where more than 40 people are killed brutally, women victims are found to have been raped before killed, some men were cutted off their heads.
The massacre was said, caused by political competitions.
Our country is about to held an election by 2010.
Let us donate prayers for their souls, and for the prevailing of justice.
MJ Arts
As a faithful fan of our beloved King of Pop, I also do Michael Jackson Arts!
Here are some of my MJ arts:
Some have lost the quality of the original image after resizing, gaaaah! It looks pixelized, why, oh why?! (@_@?
*MJ Lovers & Haters comments are welcome! (^_^?
I'm so bored...
Time here in Manila, Philippines: 6:59 PM
I always spend overtime work in this month (December, the month I am supposedly feeling excited for Christmas). As an accounting assistant, December is the end of our annual accounting period where we need to settle freakingly complicated transactions & financial reports (ledgers, income statments, journals, blah blah blah, no one can relate, I know! (^_^?)
So this is how I look like right now in my working station, totally bored & alone, feeling dizzy & hungry! (camera shot 7:02 PM)
Oh! For today (I mean, tonight), I successfully did my reports I have to submit tomorrow morning! (finished my worksheet files at 7:05 PM)
*Does a victory dance*
I can leave the office now! Bye bye! (^_^?
*logs out* (^_^v
Confessions on October 12th
October 12. Yeah! The date when Amerigo Vespucci discovered the continents of America… What else?... Uhmm… Ah! The birthdays of some celebrities like Hugh Jackman, Pavarotti & Rick Price.
Birthday! Yeah! Talk about birthdays! Know what?! It’s my birthday today! Know what it’s all about?!
No! You got it wrong! It’s not about gifts! Not asking for gifts! Worry not! I don’t need gifts (but always welcome & appreciated, LOL!). All I want you to do is just read this essay. Just sit down, read it, don’t skip every lines, then I’ll just leave it to you ‘bout your opinion.
Only few people (some of my friends) bother to remember my birthday so not strange for me if no one sends gifts or greetings. For 22 years, October 12 is just an ordinary day like the rest 364 days of the year.
No! Got it wrong again! This is not about bitterness of life! I swear I’m not. I’m still the happy-go-lucky guy you used to know with crazy comments & ideas!
But I got to tell something. Something what’s going on within.
How does it feel when nobody remembers your birthday? Definitely sad, of course (But it’s a mystery for me why it’s a human nature that we deny our birthday when someone asks, LOL! Why, oh why?). Not all birthdays are celebrated happy & lots of fun. Some are sad & lonely, like they just felt birthdays do not exist in their lives. And it’s not because they are not receiving gifts or greetings.
They are sad because they don’t know how to celebrate life fighting against disrespect, prejudice, hate & discrimination.
Like me.
This is how it all began.
My parents raised me in a way I always keep my feet flat on the ground. I mean, they want me to grow humble.
But I felt it was done too much.
My fathers always make me feel I never gave anything good for the family. Even my mother, she always sees my mistakes. Always find something to blame about me. But when talking about my good deeds & achievements, I never heard anything nice from her. Always no comment at all.
But ever since, I’m aware that I did my part trying hard to be a good son. I studied well, earned some academic recognitions in school, earned scholarship, did my part at home, successfully graduated in college, found a job after graduation, and shared more than half what I earn. I always wanted to believe there’s nothing wrong with me as a son but I just leave it to my parents what they think about my efforts.
But I never ask for recognitions. Not even expecting their gratitude for me. I only wish for respect & understanding, which they never gave back.
When I & my big sister are arguing about things, the conflict gets more tension & she always end up saying I’m just nothing, and don’t have the right to talk the way I’m feeling ahead of her. She used to say I only contribute a little sum of money for us, not to be proud of (I’m actually have tears in my eyes while writing this part). I was left totally heartbroken after she told me those words that cut like a knife. I really can’t believe she has accused me things I am not. I even never feel proud of myself. I just do things as long as I knew it won’t hurt or harm anybody.
From then, I turned myself into an introvert, an inferior-minded individual, a loner. But I’m striving to not live a loner’s life.
Least of my friends knew I’m in a dance troupe, joining some hip-hop or street dance competitions. We always wear a white mask or paint our faces before we perform… So now, you know where JABAWOCKEEZ copied their style, LOL (me kidding)! Like me, other members are very shy. They don’t want their friends & relatives recognize them dancing in the stage. I believe we all share the same family conflicts. We are afraid to know that our family won’t appreciate the talents we want to improve. Or worst, they might force us to stop & leave this kind of talent that they consider as unpractical.
Really, this is so true. Like my father when I was in high school. I used to join in a comics making contest in our school. I worked for this every night after doing my home works & projects. One night, I’m almost done with my comics entry when father noticed I’m still working on my drawings at 11PM. He thought I already neglected my study & just wasting time with my garbage. He suddenly grabbed my papers and teared them down into pieces. He angrily slapped my face with these pieces of papers.
The next day, I did not let him see me holding or touching any drawing materials.
Until now, no one in my parents have access to touch my artworks & my drawing materials. They haven’t seen any one of my drawings and don’t even know how many artworks I did. Also, my brothers & sisters didn’t know I have an account here in TheO (they’re not familiar in this site though).
Outside the house, my other conflict with life is the issue about my homosexuality. Yeah, I already mentioned this before in my previous posts. It’s a “me against the world’ thing for me. People tend to judge without knowing me inside.
I am beginning to develop inferiorities & self-insecurities when I see people whispering & laughing about me as a crap. I just pretend like I don’t hear or see anything but deep inside, I felt going paranoid & insane. I felt like I wanna go back to my room, lock the door, & stay alone.
Most of my fan arts I posted here were done alone in my bedroom. I just lock the door and imagine a world where no one makes fun of me. Only my sketch pad, pencils, papers, colored pencils, other drawing materials and my i-pod are with me.
Yeah! I know. Maybe, this time, you got it right! Maybe, I’m crazy, freak, out of the world, psychotic guy. Whatever!
But my artworks are products of my craziness…
And my craziness is the product of my sadness…
Therefore, my artworks came out from my sadness (Wow! LOGIC 101 (^_^?)
Can people consider this as an excuse for me?
No! Of course, not. It makes no excuses in our society’s eyes.
All of us undergo people’s judgment. Unfortunately, some of us experienced rejection for not passing the standards.
Now I understand why great talents like Mozart, Jose Rizal, Michael Jackson, Charles Chaplin & The Elephant Man suffered so much pain of sadness. Their master pieces came from loneliness.
Wicked judgmental people saw their talents, felt jealous and tried to bring them down. But instead of getting affected of these spirits of envy & hate, they just concentrated on how to use and improve their talents to do good things and make difference.
As an otaku, sometimes, I become a victim of prejudice & misunderstanding of those “very well said” normal people. Just because my interests & behavior don’t fit to the standards of the majority, they treat me like a weird, boring individual who focuses only on a single field of non-sense stuff.
Maybe, I lack the things that many people have.
But I possess things that many people don’t have.
So why create standards? It only generates isolation! What if I can’t follow these standards because it’s beyond my control? So unfair for me! I just can’t understand this. And I think I will never ever. I know I’m strange & different, but I’m harmless & lovable, only if people spend more time to know me.
But I’m not bitter at all. Yeah! I’m sad, but it doesn’t mean I will let sadness conquer my life. I’m still young and I believe I have the right to live a happy & healthy life. To be able to do this, I just draw beautiful things to my sketch pad & color them.
If it doesn’t work, I just sit down & lean on a wall and cry in silence. Friendly shoulders are welcome. (^_^v
If crying did nothing, I go out to a near store, buy favorite sweets, and enjoy my snacks. Sometimes, foods help us let go of sadness.
For my birthday wish…
I wish to improve more my talents so I can use them to promote love…
...
..
And world peace. (^_^v
*blows a candle flame over a cupcake*
