Within the rabbit hole lies my wonderland. It's demented and feeds off my current emotion or thought. Lunatics, like myself, shouldn't show the world inside their head. However, I choose to.

Happy Halloween!!!!

Well it will be if those stupid clown bakas know what's good for them. Yes I have work today and will be passing out candy in my little shop of Japanese goodies. What will I be? A sugar skull!!!!! Why? ... I saw a sugar skull mask and waned it, so ja. I was going to wear the wig you saw in the previous post, but L senpai, suggested I wear my hair in curls.... I will do so for my senpai!
Unless it's that horrid... then I will be wearing that wig to look more.. you know.. dead. c:

As you all know, Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday and always has bee, night of free candy, duh. Sadly I don't think I will be doing anything fun due to the outbreak of "killer" clowns... If I'm lucky I will encounter one at work. Why will I be lucky? Well my sugar cubes, this has bee the shittiest year and I need to bash open at least one idiot's skull! What better than a killer clown?! I kill a clown, won't go to jail, and~~~ the clown will have gotten to meet the antichrist before going to hell.
So with all that safe, have fun, be safe, and get ready to slay in those costumes you got!! ;D

Hopefully I can add chapters to my jeff world. Sorry about not posting this year's scary story trick or treat feature!

Work and stuff

Yeah, work is all I do. I haven't had a day off since I started. My senpai and I have gotten to do two Sunday dinners since. They were most enjoyable, especially last Sunday's. We had ramen with two of our work neighbors. It was fun.

This Friday I'm going to a convention nightclub. I'll be entering my first cosplay contest. I can't wait! I'm doing a Game of Thrones Cosplay, yeah, the mother of dragons herself!!! And might I say, I look damn good as a blonde. My depression is a rollercoaster along with anxiety and cold symptoms. I've been having my 5 minute cry sessions when I can't take life.

I really REALLY want to atleast place in the contest. The night of it, is the same date as my papa's passing.. I honestly want to win. I want to make him proud.... even for something he would probably think is dorky. But I still want to do something awesome, and part of me truly thinks he would be proud.

....... I miss a lot of people I lost... dead or alive I miss and love them.. to the ones I miss that are alive... it's because it wasn't meant to be.. and that's the most soul crushing thing I face and wear a mask for.

No more...

I want to get over my ex. But, posting shit about him and verbally attacking people who don't know and are trying to help isn't right. Seriously I know I'm the antichrist and cupid, so I understand what's going on with him and people who get involved. The smartest way I should have handled the last person to try to help should have been to politely decline on them trying to "help the situation". Instead... I snapped... really... really... bad... I feel awful and said sorry. I just hope I didn't upset that person too much.
I would say this break up has me like this, but I'd be lying. I'm a short fused gutter mouth fuck. But if I'm sorry, I will say it and mean it. Because, I won't unless I really am. The word sorry has so much meaning behind it so I don't like to throw it around... and that's why I usually try to think before I speak or type. Instead I fucked up big time. I was very insensitive to this person and all around a bitch.
But, I'm not posting about my ex anymore and I won't be talking about him to anyone who asks. I don't care what he posts about me anymore and I shouldn't have let it get under my skin. If I don't stop this I won't help myself.
I get where people are coming from on this, and I the that I'm causing him so much trouble. That was never my intentions. But I'm not going to post about what I'm thinking on this because if he reads it it will make him feel worse. I know not posting and acting like things are fine is a shitty thing to him too. But it might help him move on and think "she's a fucking bitch, I'm over this bullshit" I would love that. That would be fantastic! Anywhore, no more relationship drama..... unless I'm talking shit about myself, because ooh girl, I am such a pizza hog, that bitch.
Take care people and Ja. Again to that person I left that rude comment about, I am sorry about it and whatever effect it took on you.

In other news.

Today is creepypasta fan day! It's also~ the anniversary of the Joker's premiere in the batman series!!!! YAAASSS!!!!! I've already showed my love for the two on my hand~

Also I hope I can post atleast one new chapter tonight on my creepy pasta fanfic.. if anyone steals my ideas, I'll find ya and pull out your spine out through your mouth, shove it back in through your eye socket and stopmp out yo face! Then Jeff will help me set you on fire~

Not taking back Shayde.

Yeah, I can't get back together with him. I got into a relationship as of late and I want to love her and threat her right because she's someone that truly needs and deserves it from me most. Me. I need to love and care for myself. I have been putting myself on hold for men who truly can't love me, especially when they treat me the same way I treat myself. I'm neglectful to myself and put others before myself and have said the worst things about myself. I've even hurt myself. These men that "love" me did all that to me too. So why should I continue to allow myself to be treated so poorly? I shouldn't and I won't anymore.
To those of you that disapprove of my relationship and new love, fuck you. Eat a bag of dicks. And get a fucking life. My break ups and relationships do not revolve around what you guys what. It's about what I want in MY life. Shayde is not good enough. And yeah I'm being a bitch, because I want my freedom back. I'm not going to let him bully me anymore. I'm pretty scared of coming home and coming to this site. Hell, just now some passive aggressive asshole just left a comment asking to acknowledge him and talk to him, asking if there was a way to take him back. I don't want to be with someone who treated me badly. You wouldn't want that for a friend or family member so why even ask a stranger to go back to something that made them on the verge of suicide?
And just so we're clear that I don't want to be with Shayde....For any future comments asking what it would take to get me back or how sure am I that I don't want to be with him, here's your answer: I would rather French kiss DONALD TRUMP until his comb over pops off! I would rather be stomped on by a titan, I would rather be the little girl in Full Metal Alchemist that gets transmuted with her dog!!!!!! I would rather eat raw carrots!!! I would rather..... I would rather give up cosplay and anime!!!!!

But I'm not going to give up this site, I didn't for a guy that wanted me off here, and I'm not going to let his harassment get me to delete my account! I'm gonna go on my fucking terms! you got that?! Also I'm not gonna give up cosplay and anime over this bcause.... fuck you, that's why. :p