Within the rabbit hole lies my wonderland. It's demented and feeds off my current emotion or thought. Lunatics, like myself, shouldn't show the world inside their head. However, I choose to.

G-Dragon's My Background?!

Yeah, I adore G-Dragon. And I've missed my pretty pretty K-pop boy. He pulls off the "bad boy" look very well and adds to the femmy side. Fuck it, he's smexy and I wish to claim him. Ja... He's part of the BAE collection. I just like looking at this eye man candy!!!!! Why not share the pretty with all of you? Just remember, my world my man candy~ Kay? c:

Jeff the Killer is still meh love too <3

Everyone's Toy

People come and go in my life. Whether we fall out of contact, die, or just ... they don't want me around. It's always the same. They want to talk only when they "need" me or when they want something.

After I give them my all. Even after I've been pushed to my limit I still go out of my way to see if they're ok. Do I matter like that to them though? Of course not. When people are done with me, they toss me away. They throw me away like a toy.

The fucked up thing is when they're like "why are you so negative?" "Why won't you talk to me?" "why won't you give me a chance?"

"Why won't you give me a chance?" .... That one pisses me off most. I give people more than one damn chance. So why give them one more after they keep breaking me down? Why even bother trusting anyone? All it's done is drive a rusty blade into my back. I'd say heart, but that's been shattered to nothing.

Also, if any of you think I'm talking about my ex. I'm not. Just people in my life that left or are fiddling with my feels. It's not cool. But im pretty upset with him for acting so coldly to me over my boxes. He told me a while ago when I had brought them up that I was using him to get my stuff and was just beating around the bush. Funny how the tables turn...

If he didn't want to talk to me anymore he should have said so. Yes feelings never left, and no im not going to act on them... especially now... I totally feel used.. All I want to do now is just not exist.. Being nonexistent would be really nice right now. That way I would have never been anyone's used up toy.

No point in people being gloomy after seeing this, so... will you bare my children?~~~~ ;D

Haircut and Cookies?!

Fuck yeah!!!!! I got a new hair dresser and I'm keeping him. HE IS MINE!!!!! I share him with L-senpai because she referred me. We let him do what he wants to our hair and he's amazing! I thought the best part was how he talks to us like equal adults, but I was wrong... He brought us each a cookie!!!! This guy is too sweet!
I'm soooo baking him cookies for Christmas!!!! He's an amazing cutter and knows what works on people. I truly cannot wait for him to teach people. And just so you guys know, it take A LOT to get me to trust you with my hair. I usually tell people "I'm trusting you with my hair. with that said, don't fuck it up!" yeah... I go Ru Paul on people.... >>" But come on!!!! I do a lotto keep it healthy so it can grow so don't fuck it up damnit! But yeah this guy is amazing, I didn't tell him anything bad, just said "I love what you do with Senpai's hair, so do as you wish to mine". He di so and I love it and so many others.

Im still gonna grow it out, but it needed a cut. Too much got fried after I re bleached and dyed my hair. I have the best hair dresser in the universe! <3 <3

Condensed Milk

Wow, how many times has Space Dandy in his series? I really wish there were more seasons for that series. In fact I wish there was a season two for Ouran highschool Host Club!!!!!! ..... A girl can dream.

So yeah I couldn't think of a title. But I guess life is like condensed milk, for people that can't handle it. It's pretty nom on stuff, but hurts the tumtum in the end. Yeah, that was a good analogy...

I really wish life were different right now, less stressful. My health is still in the garbage, but being home helps. I'm closer to my doctor, so if I need a new inhaler that will be awesome. Why do I get inhalers? Sometimes when I'm sick too long, I have phlem in my lungs and it makes it hard to breathe. Hell, a lot of things make it hard for me to breathe. This one has the least pain though.

Work is going pretty well. I can't really complain since there's not much to complain about. I've been making some more friends. I love it when they visit me at work. My favorite visitor is Otter. That's his nickname. He's got a friend who will look up from his phone and go back to texting it. It's pretty funny. Otter and I usually talk about the boondocks and food. I love talking about those two things with him. He gets the Mexican in me. Probably because he's Mexican too..... Bwahahahahahaha I'm so funny! But yeah he's chill. His friend's utter silence due to antisocial life is hilarious to me. They almost remind me of a tame Jay and Silent Bob.

My new coworker is really nice. She and I went to school together. When she recognized me it was so funny! She went all bug eyed and jaw dropped. You know like someone meeting their waifu. It was too funny, I just started laughing. Lately whenever I run into old school mates, they have that same reaction. Then I get asked questions like "was it true that you did-" and they go on with a crazy rumor. Most of the time the rumor is true, like me being the living nightmare. Or the fact that I eat nothing but sweets if I actually can. She's a bit weirded out by the amount of sweets I eat, she said her fiancé's kids will get tired of sweets before me. She also asked if it was true about my biting. Most of the off putting rumors about me are true. The ones people thought were lies shocked them more. Mostly when I was asked if I was volunteering at the senior center. I told them about it. People are shocked that I enjoy volunteer work. I don't blame them. I am the antichrist after all. Bleh.

Anywhores, I told my brother, Willy, that he should go to school to be a food scientist. I think he'd do great! Unless he gets published for his writings. Either or would be good. I'm also helping a friend plan her wedding. It's gonna be a blast in a glass!!!!

So ja noting new really with me. Weigt loss, work, and being the side show at work. If it's not for my hair, it's because people want to know why I was called the guillotine!

Romona Flowers?!

Since I keep dying my hair, I've had a few people tell me I remind them of her. I can't help but laugh. Do I have 7 evil exes ready to fight ..... wait I don't have a scott pilgrim. Well shit, I guess I don't have to worry about the league of evil exes. Woot!!! It's mostly because I've ben dying my hair a lot and now it's goth rainbow. Oh and it's probably because I'm a fat American.

yeah I don't know when I'm going to stop dying it. I also don't know when I will stop giving off gay vies to people, I would blame the rainbow in my hair, but l's face it, I'm a unicorn!!! I'm all about that yayness of gayness! And to that think I'm gay, you're right! I'm so gay of a man I came out a girl!