Within the rabbit hole lies my wonderland. It's demented and feeds off my current emotion or thought. Lunatics, like myself, shouldn't show the world inside their head. However, I choose to.

cosplay fav

I love cosplaying as Lucy/nyu, from Elfen Lied. I honestly love this picture jojo took over Skype too, I think I photograph better over Skype xD

happy 4th!!!

Here's a picture from AX

bet ya feel those fireworks too~

*head walls into a pole*

Why??!?!!?!?! Why the fuck do I gotta keep chasing?! Why?! Why should I?! It's so fucking clear how pointless it is!! I'm not even missed!!!
I'm not even wanted... so why bother!? Why do I bother ?!
Ok I'm ready to be committed into an asylum ... actually not yet, Sunday I will be ready, I got some cosplay to do.
UGH!!!!!! I honestly want to take a drug that will make me forget things, or just get over them and take away the emotion of love. Yeah that would be awesome! I'm so tired of unrequited love, it's a hassle and full of lies. You are never first in that person's eyes, hell you're not even what they want to see.
This is so ... I want to say unfair, but it's really torture. It really sucks knowing I'm just not the girl wanted. Just wish I could stop chasing... it's pointless in the end.

Don't waste your time like he did

"I can't even anymore. Ugh, I gotta go to work, too... And I'm most likely missing Animania at FYE this Sunday. Fuck it. I'll just have to wait another few to several months. Thankfully, Amazon normally has some good prices on anime~ heart emoticon"

..... Anime, games, and computers will always come before me... I wasn't there for him even though I was trying so hard. I had so much to do at those times, and he doesn't understand.
I'm just not his girl.... I'm not worth fighting for, keeping, or even loving. I was killed in my last relationships. Any that I opened in, I wound up killed, if not by finding out they cheated, it was because they made sure I knew I was nothing. I just realized, I'm not good enough to love. So if anyone thinks they love me, STOP! I'm not worth it, I'm not loveable. Do not waste your time on me, do not put in any effort, do not bother with me. Just don't.
I'm so tired of feeling like I'm brought back to life, I'm tired of remembering what it feels like to be loved, I miss the old days where I didn't care if I was loved or not... Even though I didn't see it or feel it by anyone, it was easier to live without a care. Trust me I'm just not worth the waste of time.


I was really sleepy a few months ago and drew a face and then made it like Jeff, and yesterday I finally added the hair. I'm neither a good artist or a productive one. but I'm pleased with my half assed work on my beloved!!!

Jeff: "... ok I know I'm easy to draw, but you half assed me?!!?!? See if I don't make you go to sleep!!!!"

Oh Jeff, you won't do that, you haven't hooked up with my O.C, Aiden, yet.

Jeff: "I do- wait, I'm gonna hook up with Aiden!? ..... She better wear that maid outfit"

Aiden: "hell no!"

Jeff: "yes you will!! You're my sidekick and should please me!!"

Aiden: "I wouldn't please you even if you were Leo!!!"

Jeff: "you really are like your creator... so both of you in a maid outfit?"

Shayde: *buries Jeff in a coffin*

....Oniichan's such a party pooper... no cake for him -3-