Well, here I am. People who know me love me whether they like it or not. It's a burden since I dislike most people. You can find My actual Life HERE. I have many fandoms, and many likes but I have yet to find passion in a past time. You are welcome as long as you behave.

I figure as long as STAN can live here, I can too. Here's round two.



Fictitious things

All I Post About is Dogs

My long time best buddy Demian has passed away. He's my Old Man dog, he was ten years old. He got in a fight with one of my foster dogs and got a massive infection. He went septic and died. It all happened in 2.5 days. I'm so sorry, to my Boo. I'm sorry his ending was painful and drawn out. I'm sorry he can't smile at me anymore, and I'm really sad.

One day I'll post about something that isn't a dog tragedy... Probably.


Miss P and I took her final trip today. Everyone played outside this morning, Penelope and I snuggled. We went driving for about half an hour because she loved car rides. We went through Starbucks and she got a pup cup of whipped cream. She sat with me in the waiting room like a good girl. I sat on the floor in the exam room and my 90 pound girl sat right in my lap, which is where she stayed until she left me. I pet her and told her I'm sorry.

I'm not just sad. I feel so guilty. My mistake has cost these 2 poor dogs everything. I didn't realize just how much of the energy in my house originated with Ted the Dog. Everyone is so subdued now. There's a minimal amount of chase in the yard, and poor Hudson seems to keep looking for his friend.

Crying gives me headaches. I can't really mourn them publicly because the whole situation would reflect poorly on the rescue. Thank goodness very few of the people in my day to day have any idea of my page here, and I can lament and be very emo...

My day with Penelope

After the disaster of July 2 (explained in my previous post), my poor Penelope will be put down tomorrow, or maybe Wednesday. It may be Wednesday because I have to work Tuesday to get my holiday pay, and I can't beat the thought of stopping her off for it and not being there with her.

Penelope is my first rescue foster. She came to my house last August. She was adopted in December. She was returned 2 weeks ago. I love her.

I could not stand the thought that he last days would be spent locked away in a kennel. I was advised to keep her separated and kenneled. I have kept her with me all day. We took a walk this morning. We laid in bed and watched a movie. I mowed part of the lawn so she could chase the mower around because she loves that. She got a bratwurst for lunch and some ice cream. Everyone has napped a lot.

I'm keeping my shit together pretty well, but I lost it today looking at Lucy and it made me think of Ted the Dog and I burst into tears.

Ted the Dog

External ImageToday quickly turned into one of my worst. Ted the Dog, a dog I was fostering through a rescue, has passed away. I went to run an errand and I didn't kennel the dogs. I was only gone about half an hour. I came home to my bathtub flooding (it wasn't on when I left) a huge mess and the body of Ted. I failed you, my sweet boy, and I'm so sorry.

I had a previous foster named Penelope. A couple of weeks ago her adopters called me and told me she had killed a Pomeranian. I have no idea what happened, but I think it started in the bathroom. I think Laz was in his regular place in the tub. I think Ted went in there and that's what started it. I think Laz and Ted tussled in the tub and Penelope joined in and killed poor Mr. Ted in the living room. I'm so devasted and I feel responsible for the loss of this poor, sweet boy. I'm so sorry, Ted. You didn't deserve this.

With her history, Penelope will b put down on Tuesday when the vet opens. Until that time she'll be kenneled and let out separately.
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Had I just put you in your kennels, the two of you would not have lost/lose your lives. I have not not done right by you.

I have the sniffles

I just read my last post. It read like a 4th grade "What did I do on Summer Vacation" report.

Tonight I am drinking whiskey just filed my taxes. This combination makes me feel very grown up. On my last post talked about Penelope, though only briefly. I love that dog, and she was happily adopted. I am currently fostering 3 young dogs. Firstly is Tempest, she's a young pup and she has mange. I had her a week when I took in Hudson. He's also under a year old and has mange. I call them The Mange Babies. They've been here since the end of December. They have to be healthy before being adopted. A week ago Gracie came to stay as well. She's a young shepherd/lab mix. She's very pretty but has no manners. The three of them play and wrestle and fight any time they are not in their kennels. It grows tiresome very quickly.

I have thought several time in the last few weeks, "I should write about that," and never do. Here I sit, clickity clacking away on my keyboard and not sure what to write about. This is also quickly tiresome.