Well, here I am. People who know me love me whether they like it or not. It's a burden since I dislike most people. You can find My actual Life HERE. I have many fandoms, and many likes but I have yet to find passion in a past time. You are welcome as long as you behave.

I figure as long as STAN can live here, I can too. Here's round two.



Fictitious things

Spending the Night with Spike Speigel

It's 1 AM and I'm laying in my bed watching Cowboy Bebop DVDs. Tired but not sleepy, my mind is running and running, but it's going so fast that I'm not even sure what's whizzing by.

A few weeks ago, my friend posted a link to her facebook. She lives in Oklahoma and works for urbangirl.com. The link was for an inventory control manager. No listing of pay, but I didn't really give is a serious look because I am stuck buying an unsellable house. It's unsellable because I can't afford to fix the things that are making it fall apart around me. Anyway, she posted it on June 20th. On that day, my sister had commented that I should look at it. Well, today my friend also commented, asking if I would seriously be interested. Ever since she posted that comment, I can't help but be interested. I hate my boss. I tolerate my co-workers. I play on facebook all day because I have nothing to do. I have a handful of friends, all of whom have recently moved into the parenting stage of their lives.

Jordan and I got divorced almost 4 years ago, and I never really moved forward. I bought me house and stayed there. Maybe moving to a new city with a decent job would be a good thing.

I am in a really weird mood tonight. I feel buoyant and yet on the cusp of a depressive precipice, which I feel like I spelled wrong. I just have a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, and it's been there for days.

Life is strange, and so am I.

For some reason, that song often randomly pops in my head.

Disconcerting thoughts wander through my head. Idle hands have nothing on idle minds.

Middle of Nowhere

There are people who have accused me of living in the middle of nowhere. You know what? I like the middle of nowhere. Look and see why.

This guy is from my first home town and he now lives in my college town. Kansas is beautiful, and I love where I live.


It's SNOWING!!!!! This makes me so Happy, I can barely describe it. It's so nice, no blizzard, no wind... Just a gently falling snow.


Posty Post Time

It's been ages since I posted and I am now remedying that.

I have tons to tell and nothing at the same time.

Yesterday was my 32nd birthday. Twas not exciting at all. I got up and went to work to find out that we were to close the office and go to lunch for Christmas/Molly's Birthday. Cool except that put me behind for the rest of the day. Kind of worth it and kind of aggravating. I don't understand that the slower our office is with sending workers out, the busier I seem to be. It shouldn't be that way.

We have an employee who is very self important. He's a jackass and I could go on and on, but he got unnecessarily rude to me yesterday. It was on the phone, and he just kind of soured my already mediocre birthday. He actually yelled at me and then hung up on me. he called back a little bit later and said he wanted to speak with anybody but me. Little did he know that I'm the nice one.... Jackie suspended him until further notice. It's been coming, he just sped up the process.

On Christmas Day I went to see "Les Miserables" with my sister. it was good, though there were a lot of FACE SHOTs and I have some issues with it, like Russell Crowe was not angry enough. Who ever would have thought that would be an issue? Anne Hathaway was amazing. I cried. don't tell.

The weekend before Christmas I went to my family celebration at the Abbey in Missouri. It was lovely. Lots of kids, lots of noise... fun.

Speaking of Christmas, my parents are amazing. My coworker's house was robbed like 10 days before Christmas and all the gifts she'd bought her daughter were stolen. I told my parents and they went shopping (through me) and got my coworker's daughter (age 6) new toys so she wouldn't be without christmas. My parents are the kind of people that the world needs.

Random Conjecture

So, last night as I lay in bed trying to keep Laz from smashing Lucy I was thinking about my dogs, how different they are. Demian is by far my favorite dog. I love that dog more than I've ever loved a person. Yet somehow he seems to get the least attention. He doesn't inflict himself upon me. I love that dog, he's my boo. He has gotten a lot better, but today his hips seem to be bothering him a lot. The weather got chillier and Demian started to hurt. Poor dog. He's 6. I worry that my Boo... well that he's old. I picked him out on my birthday 6 years ago. I didn't even want a dog, Jordan did. I fell in love with that dog the second I set eyes on him.

Laz is sweet and overly attached to me. He's clumsy and he puts himself in the way on purpose to get attention. He's a sweet dog, and I love him.

Lucy is a strange thing though. This beautiful dog just showed up on my doorstep.she was the sweetest thing from the second she shyly wandered up to me. She is attached to my hip and when I'm in bed she sleeps with her head on my shoulder. Lucy doesn't like men and she's really skittish leading me to assume that she was abused in the short life she had before she came here. She adores me and is very protective of me. I have affection for this sweet little girl dog most people reserve for their kids.

I dunno, the different emotions that these canines garner from me is odd and foreign to me. The frustrate the shit out of me, but I'm glad I have them.