This is a story about L and B from Death Note. I wanted to create a story that's from the point of view of Beyond, and give my thoughts on, what I believe, how their relationship was.

January 21, 2004

What makes an individual twisted and mentally insane? Or more specifically…how do they get to that stage of instability? I’ve pondered this question for the five years I’ve been in this dreadful cell, locked away and isolated from the real world. That’s a question that I’ve always wanted the answer to. I only think about it more, since thinking is the only right that I have. But is there any reason to blame him for putting me here? No, absolutely not. I know that I can’t blame him for locking me up in this place for the crazed and demented. He’s got me caged up in a cell that’s supervised twenty-four seven, then there’s the national security systems, also this cell is manufactured so I can do no harm to myself. I even get unannounced visits from him. I can just sense him staring at me from the other side of the mirrored window. I know he watches me like a specimen while eating those surgery sweets and candies that I know he loves. To be visited by the Great L should be an honor, correct? No, I don’t look at it this way. Never have. I always hated the man. Why you ask? For it was him who made me what I am now.

When I lived at that institution called Whammy’s House, I was stripped of my true identity, and just labeled as a simple title of “B”. While I was there, my status as a human being faded away, and I was now known as, I guess you could say, a clone. A clone to take L Lawliet’s place when and if he were to die. I was expected to be great like him, to have the mind of a genius, and to become exactly like him.

Honestly, I was proud to be chosen as L’s predecessor. I felt that I was actually needed in this world. Since, I was an orphan anyway that also was a reason why I accepted such a splendid offer. At first, it was only two of us to compete for L’s title. A and me. But shortly after, A committed suicide due to the stress that was forced upon them for the reason that they were number one to take L’s place. I’m sure you can understand how stressful that must have been. So, naturally I became next up in the line to be L number two. I was thrilled when Whammy announced that precise fact to me.

I studied harder, became quite intelligent, and agreed to undergo surgery to even make me look like L. Due to the situation, we were granted the proper permission to finally meet each other and, I believe still to this day, we became great friends. I, Beyond Birthday, was L Lawliet’s first friend. And he was mine. But friendship easily turned into obsession. I became obsessed with the person I was expected to become. As time passed, I not only wanted to act as his substitute, I wanted to be better than him. I yearned to surpass him. That was my dearest wish.

My obsession made me sick, twisted, mad. I had realized that there was no possible way to be better than him. I was to be his shadow forever, as long as I lived. The realization of truth, reality…traumatized me. I began to hate him. I couldn’t stand to look at those dark eyes, and the face that I had mimicked. I wanted to hurt him. I believed inflicting pain on him, it would relieve my own. Death also filled my mind. I could even see his death because I was given this gift to see such things with these blood-red eyes I possessed (still do). But I knew murdering him simply wouldn’t help my cause, I wanted him to know that I was superior, I wanted to see him grovel at my feet. Death wouldn’t bring me such pleasures I knew. So, I began to devise a plan that would allow me such satisfaction.

The perfect murder. I would become a murderer and create an unsolvable case that not even the Great L could decipher. I had it all planned out. One night I packed only the things that I needed and left Whammy’s. Over the course of time of living amongst the streets, I finally made myself at home in an abandoned building. I created my exact final adjustments to my plan. I knew that I could beat L, surpass him. With my eyes I could research my future victims and always set up the ever so gruesome crime scenes in my head. I always knew exactly how I wanted them to be discovered by the police. When I looked at their pure, innocent faces I could imagine every single detail about how I was going to murder them. I loved picturing their faces contort in gut-wrenching agony. And I absolutely loved it. After the first murder I committed, I craved death…and the taste of a dying body. I couldn’t control myself that night that I took that man’s life. I knew that I just had to taste that sweet, succulent taste of lost human life as it dripped off my fingers as I dipped them into that crimson pool of warm satisfaction.

Ever since then, I was hooked on the taste, and I was beginning to kill just that reason. I soon became a serial killer and that’s when the media and FBI started to get involved. Then, when they realized they could never figure this violent murder case out, they got in contact with L and my true plan went into affect. I killed three people in precise methods, leaving clues to encourage the woman who was hired by L. I even met her face-to-face, helping her myself, leading her on, and introduced myself as Ryuzaki. She believed every word. That’s the way I wanted it to go, because I knew she was reporting everything and directly to L. Therefore, L knowing what I was doing. I always laughed at that. After leading the woman on, I knew that this predicament had to come to halt. I knew that I must put the final step to my plan in action.

For crimes to be committed and no suspect to arrest, it truly was, what I felt to believe, the perfect answer to my troubles. I was the antagonist in all this…so how could I just make myself disappear? The answer…suicide. The lovely night came for me to take such measures. I don’t know what was going through my crazed mind as a lit the match and touched it to my clothes. Was it fear, torment, excitement, or relief? I truly don’t know. But my deathly intentions were halted as that woman caught on to the fact that I was the killer, the culprit to her and L’s investigations. She saved me from the flames, and I was treated for my burns at a high security hospital.

I failed. My dream will never come true. I stated earlier that I hated L…I think that 90% of my being does, but the remaining 10%? Love, is it? I don’t know where I would be right now if it wasn’t for him. But I rot away in this cell, I think I’ve realized how important that the Great L Lawliet truly is to me. I basically just contradicted myself, didn’t I? It’s the only way for me to give the slightest idea of my feelings for him. If only I could see his face one last time, maybe have a cup of coffee with him as we talk of better times…Yes…that’s what I want right now. If only I could…

Falling, the black felt-tipped pen went out of Beyond’s white, corpse-like hand. He clutched at the heart searing pain that now ate away at his chest. He tried to gasp for breath, only bringing forth excruciating agony. Clawing at his heart he fell to the floor…and with his last dying breath he could manage, he strained his neck to look at the mirrored window. Hoping that he could catch a glimpse of his face one more time…

L saw this. He rushed into the padded cell, knowing that there was nothing that he could do. L Lawliet knelt by the body of Beyond Birthday, took his head into his lap and saw a single tear run down that pale face, so much like his own. L noticed a piece of paper on the floor besides Beyond’s dead body. He reached down to grab it, folded it gently in his hands and began to read the small, precise, eloquent cursive that he knew was Beyond’s.

To My Dear L Lawliet,
Do you hear the bells? I know that I do…I hear them every day. I wanted to tell you this face-to-face, not just from this piece of paper. If only you would understand that I didn’t just hate you…I also loved you. I don’t expect you to understand my incomprehensive logic. But I just felt better to tell you, to make you aware of my feelings. I know that you can never forgive me for my violent actions. You are a thing of justice, of course you can’t except it. Why couldn’t you show me your ghostly face one last time? It would have been wonderful if you would allow such a situation to happen. I hope that when you think of me after reading this you will remember our days at Whammy’s. Could you find it in your heart to at least do that? My beloved Lawliet…When you do finally hear the bells…Please…Think of me, Beyond Birthday.

L put the paper down, clutched Beyond’s blood-stained shirt, and hugged him.

Beyond…I’m so sorry. I think I was at fault too, for it was me that made you what you are. Talking to you one last time…I wished too. I understand you now, I truly believe you are not the monster I thought you to be. Thank you…Thank you for being my first friend that I ever had. Maybe…Just maybe I’ll see you on the other side, Beyond.

I’ll think of you when I hear the bells…

Fiction: 03/03/09 | Posted By: xXDamnationXx | 21 comments | Death Note