Hello, newcomer! Welcome to the internet! A whole world of wonder and excitement awaits you! You will soon be assimilated. There is no hope, surrender now.

Before you begin, there are a few things you should be aware of. Please read the following. Your life may depend on it, depending on how serious you consider internet business to be.

1: If you'll look to your left, you will notice other people. They are also here. Please remember this, since many before you have operated under the false assumption that they are the only ones here.

2: Similar to the previous point, some people have decided that the option not to share their personal information here gives them the right to be discourteous and rude. Feel free to do so, but bear in mind that continuing such behavior may eventually severely limit the number of websites that ever want to see your sorry butt again.

3: On the internet, you will find people who like things. Some of them may like things that you yourself do not approve of. Please do not call them out on this, as they are also, believe it or not, human beings and deserve to be treated as such.

4: Sometimes in your wanderings, you will come across websites with rules in place. These rules are usually not very demanding and indeed hard to break without trying. In addition, some people will ask for you to stop doing things. These are also usually quite simple to comply with, as well. Unless the request is to fire a puppy out of a cannon, please do so. Failure to comply may result in getting hoisted off of said website by your scruff and belt.

5: Finally, you should know that there are debates on the internet. If you spend a lot of time getting in to them, you will probably be wrong during at least one. If such a case arises, please back down gracefully. Do not insult your opponent, become agitated, or try to play the victim. If you do not think you can comply with the above guidelines were such an event to occur, yet still wish to debate, there is a large red button in the upper right-hand corner of your browser. Click it now. You will be immediately transported to a venue much better-suited to your tastes.

Thank you for your time and enjoy. Please do note that ignoring any of the above guidelines within my presence repeatedly will spark my wrathful ire. Have a nice day!