Okay, so I know that I'm virtually unknown here at theO, but I'm hoping to change that soon...if I can get my scanner to work or get some good FanWords going. Basically, this is where I'm going to tell everything that's going on with me personally as well as how anything I'm working on for theO is coming along. So with that, please enjoy.

Anger..

I hate it. I hate being angry. The feeling is horrible. It makes me sick, literally. Lately, I've become extremely easy to anger. I can't seem to hold it in. It just explodes and I don't know how to deal with it. It gets overwhelming and lasts a lot longer than it should. I'll get mad about something to the point where I can feel my pulse through my entire body and I'm physically shaking. I try to stop it and it doesn't. Then, hours later, I'm still mad, but there's no real reason anymore. I just can't get it under control. I tried looking for things to help online. Different techniques and whatnot, but I can't really just take a walk or get a minute of peace at school.. My family freaks if I just leave. Anyone got any tips? I don't know what to do anymore.

So true..

"School teaches you how to think. You see, there is actually only one way that humans are supposed to use their brains, and school is the only place you can get taught how to do it. We're all supposed to be the same - all this talk of "individual needs" and such is nonsense. Embrace the hive! Your queen needs you!"

Nothing to Do

So basically.. I'm really, really bored. I'm sitting in computer programming with NOTHING to do. Apparently most of the people in my class aren't here to program.. They're here to play on a computer for an hour. I've been done with the ten exercises we were supposed to do for at least a week or more now. The guy next to me is on exercise three... I was almost afraid to take this class because I was expecting it to be filled with really smart people. It was kind of intimidating because I knew little to nothing about programming before the course. It didn't take long for me to realize that 97% of the class was going to struggle and probably fail. The teacher had to walk around the room and teach half of them how to copy and paste.. Apparently they couldn't handle it when he said "Copy and paste four textboxes using control + C and control + V." People freaked out.

I really like the teacher. He's a good teacher and he's a lot of fun sometimes. He randomly starts singing while he's walking around and its ALWAYS good songs. He tends to pick on the kids too. You can't help but pick on them though. Its a computer course and you can't copy and paste.. -.- I always come out of class with "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Atsley stuck in my head though. The guy next to me sings it everyday while he "works."

I guess I just can't comprehend how people could be having this much trouble with what we're doing. We're only using visual basic so half of the project is putting the right pieces in the right spot. Basically, there's a bunch of clicking and dragging.

I was just kind of sitting here yesterday so the teacher came over to see if I needed help. I was like, "I've been done for a few days. What do I do now?" He told me to play counterstrike. ONLY class where the teacher tells you to play on the computer. I don't play counterstrike though so he offered Unreal Tournament instead. I haven't played that either though. He told me he'd find something for me to do and walked off. He forgot me... So I browsed wallpapers on theO and texted my boyfriend through my email. I've gotta find ways to spend this class. D: It looks like it'll be this way all year.

Well, everyone's doing it...

Yea.. I took the test too. It all looks pretty acurate to me.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion |||| 18%
Stability |||||| 30%
Orderliness |||||||||||||| 58%
Accommodation |||||||||||||| 58%
Interdependence || 10%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 62%
Mystical |||||||||||||||| 63%
Artistic |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Religious |||||||||||||||| 70%
Hedonism |||||| 23%
Materialism |||||||||||| 50%
Narcissism |||||||||||| 50%
Adventurousness |||||| 23%
Work ethic |||||||||| 36%
Humanitarian |||||||||| 36%
Conflict seeking |||| 16%
Need to dominate |||||||||||| 43%
Romantic |||||||||||| 43%
Avoidant |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Anti-authority |||||| 30%
Wealth |||||| 23%
Dependency |||||||||||||||| 63%
Change averse |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Individuality |||||||||||||||| 63%
Sexuality |||| 16%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Family drive |||| 16%
Physical Activity |||||| 30%
Histrionic |||||||||| 36%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 70%
Vanity |||||| 30%
Honor |||||||||||||| 56%
Thriftiness |||||||||||||||||||| 90%

Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion results were low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot:

introverted, irritable, feels invisible, observer, depressed, does not enjoy leadership, reveals little about self, dislikes large parties, feels undesirable, does not like to stand out, submissive, suspicious, emotionally sensitive, not a thrill seeker, solitude loving, likes silence, fragile, second guesses self, negative, unadventurous, fearful, weird, focuses on people's hidden motives, paranoid, phobic, dependent, cautious, avoidant, semi intellectual

M.I.A.

Sooo.... I've been kinda missing in action for quite a while now I guess. I figured I'd throw something up here to let you know I'm still alive.. that is if you all still care. I mean, I barely remember the last time I was on here. I guess part of the reason I "disappeared" was because I started playing an MMO and I got REALLY addicted. It's called Second Life. Maybe some of you play it? It's a really interesting game. Everything is user-created. You can build things and write codes for what you build to make them do different things or react to certain events. If any of you play and you wanna hit me up send me a PM and I'll do my best to remember to check it. We can exchange names or something. ^_^

Anyway, sorry for disappearing. I never did a lot with this site though so I guess you guys didn't miss out on too much. I've sort of stopped drawing or doing much of anything anime related. I feel bad about it, but that's just kind of how things happened. All that tv was showing really was Naruto and I got so far behind in Bleach that I stopped watching. I need to get back to watching anime and reading manga. I miss it sometimes. If you guys have any suggestions for things to get hooked on I'm open to most anything.