Hush, Love, Don't cry,
It'll be alright,
Hold me close,
As I administer the dose,
Listen to my lullaby of lies.
- Created By Mercury Dragon
Symmetry...
Mood: Confused...
Music: The Beatles "Happiness is a Warm Gun"
So, I haven't posted on here in a while. Actually, I've been neglecting the site for quite sometime, save for checking on my good friends' updates. Lately, I feel that the quality of theOtaku has...Well, to be frank, it's gone down. I've been a faithful member for a good 3 years now, and I've seen theOtaku go through some changes. Back when I joined, it was smaller, but there was quite a good deal of amazing art out there. Now, 3 years later, the site is much larger, but, not to insult anyone or anything, I feel the quality of the art has gone down. It's good that the site has grown, but I value quality over quantity.
And then there's all the drama with members like TwoFacedLullaby, AvariceTears, and Iruka Sensei. Now, I will admit that I was friends with TFL and AT. They seemed nice. I still talk to AT over on dA, and s/he is still really nice and has not once harassed/trolled/insulted me. I had been wondering what happened to TFL, and I found out last night that she was caught in her own web of lies. Back when the whole car-accident story came out, yeah, I was concerned. So it hurt to hear that I had fallen prey to a lie...I never knew Iruka...Anyways, the point is: where is the maturity? No, I am not going to run the moderators down. They did their job. They were professional about it. I applaud them for not giving in to any peer pressure. Here's the thing, though: While the internet does allow for some anonymity, shouldn't we all still act mature and try to be a community that gets along? We have enough drama in our real lives. We don't need it in a place we consider our haven.
Now, here is my inner struggle: I kind of want to leave the site. There are several factors involved in my train of thought.
I want to leave because:
~The site feels colder
~My fandoms have changed and involve subject matter too mature for the site's rating
~I feel like I'm only taking up space here
But...
~I have a good group of friends on here (Werner, Vacuum-chan, Mariel, Waffuru, Clozi, Pocky-chan, and DeidaraNarutoClan)
~I love how caring and willing to help the moderators are
~This was my first internet home
I'm at a loss as for what I should do. No, I'm not crying out for attention. I don't care about pageviews and member-ranking systems. I don't care how many people like my art. I was just here to show my art to the world. I can't really do that as of late, due to the subject matter of my recent art.
I'm not going to make any rash decisions. I'm going to keep my account here and lurk, commenting on things occasionally, but I won't be as active as I used to be in the submissions field. If you want to check out my art, you can find me on deviantART here, Y!Gallery here, and FFN here. If I do, by chance, draw something site-appropriate, I'll upload it here, but I make no promises.
Well, thanks for a good 3 years, Otakuites, and remember to stay classy!
Excel~
~~Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep...~~
Mutter...
Mood: Hungry (but I gots Spaghetti-Os!)
Music: Hellogoodbye "Here In Your Arms"
Okay, yeah, you don't REALLY have to read this, but I'd appreciate feedback...
Does your body ever tell you things? Like, you know, do you ever get weird feelings and then suddenly go, "Where the HELL did that come from?!" Yeah, I get one of those feelings quite frequently...
I WANT TO BE A MOTHER!!!
I mean, it's not such an overwhelming feeling that I tackle my fiance in true cave-woman fashion and go, "I CAN HAZ UR BAYBEEZ NAO!!! RAAWRGGGH!!!!" But I do have the feeling...It's like this: I'll be sitting down, watching tv with Daku, and suddenly, inside me, my body says, "Hey. Hey, toots. Don't you tink it's time ta get a bun in tha oven yet? Yeah, tell 'at pretty boy ovah theyah ta strip 'is clothes off and stick it in yah! Yous guys is gettin' ta that point, ya know..." Yes, it says it just like that, Brooklyn accent and EVERYTHING!!!
WE'RE NOT FINANCIALLY STABLE ENOUGH TO PROCREATE!!!
We're still in college! We've got 2 years left! We're only 20! Geez! I mean, yeah, we're engaged, but it's still kind of a huge secret, seeing as he hasn't talked to my dad yet...But he will this summer...So yeah...I'll let you know how that one goes after it happens...Anyways, we can't get married until we graduate, and even then, it'll be at LEAST 4 years before he'll be able to start his career!! He's planning on getting a PhD or an MD...Either way, he'll be Dr. Daku...Neither of us really wants a kid until we're both comfortably situated in our career paths...But my body keeps doing that to me...
Do all 20-year-old women get the urge to yield offspring? Do YOUNGER women have those urges? I saw a post card on PostSecret a few weeks back that was sent in by a woman my age who had these feelings. It shocked me to read it because I thought I was alone...Gah, I hate this!! Why won't my body and my logic assimilate?! Why must they contradict each other?!
Well, stay classy, Otakuites.
Excel~
~~Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts~~
End
