I did like it, and it was interesting, but there's a bit of problem. You see, your facts were somewhat like lines in a poem. That being said, it would be a much cleaner and smoother read if the facts themselves had a bit more consistency. For example, some facts were very long sentences while others were no more than four words. As a general rule to any sort of consistency (at least, the kind I'm talking about) there should only be at most a four word difference in count from longest to shortest sentence. And, to better your piece, the facts should go on the short side of the scale. However, this all just my opinion.
Reaally good although i am nnot to big a fan of ten/sasu. I like how with each point you had a little explination on it. It was very good and your wrighting is some of the best that i have read in a while.
I understand completely, and it's perfectly fine. There are younger members and sometimes children who look through this site daily so any more than what I have written would be too much for innocent eyes. I'll remember to keep that in mind the next time I submit something.
For the most part, my writing doesn't go further than this so you've nothing to worry about. But it's really great to know where my limits are, so thank you. ^___^
Oh, and I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed the fic. ♥
I've no doubt a fair number of people are gonna love this fic.
That said, you'll probably notice where I put the scissors to your work. I really had no problem with those bits (aside from what I thought were kinda corny euphemisms), but some others might not be quite as forgiving. So yeah, for purposes of the site and for future reference, this is probably about as far as I'll let these go for publication. I hope that's okay for you at least for now.
That said, your writing is still as excellent as ever.
Marayumasan
Title: Otakuite | Posted 05/29/08 | Reply
ooooh juicy
Gaarabeachbum
Title: Otakuite | Posted 05/26/08 | Reply
wow...that was rather naughty..... U BAD BAD GIRL!!!!
BASH
Title: Otakuite | Posted 05/21/08 | Reply
I did like it, and it was interesting, but there's a bit of problem. You see, your facts were somewhat like lines in a poem. That being said, it would be a much cleaner and smoother read if the facts themselves had a bit more consistency. For example, some facts were very long sentences while others were no more than four words. As a general rule to any sort of consistency (at least, the kind I'm talking about) there should only be at most a four word difference in count from longest to shortest sentence. And, to better your piece, the facts should go on the short side of the scale. However, this all just my opinion.
It is a very nice bit of work though.
See ya, or not!
SaxGirl
Title: Senior Otaku | Posted 05/01/08 | Reply
real good story^^
Akisama
Title: Otakuite | Posted 04/30/08 | Reply
Reaally good although i am nnot to big a fan of ten/sasu. I like how with each point you had a little explination on it. It was very good and your wrighting is some of the best that i have read in a while.
DragonStorm
Title: Senior Otaku | Posted 04/30/08 | Reply
@SomeGuy:
I understand completely, and it's perfectly fine. There are younger members and sometimes children who look through this site daily so any more than what I have written would be too much for innocent eyes. I'll remember to keep that in mind the next time I submit something.
For the most part, my writing doesn't go further than this so you've nothing to worry about. But it's really great to know where my limits are, so thank you. ^___^
Oh, and I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed the fic. ♥
SomeGuy
Title: Team | Posted 04/29/08 | Reply
I've no doubt a fair number of people are gonna love this fic.
That said, you'll probably notice where I put the scissors to your work. I really had no problem with those bits (aside from what I thought were kinda corny euphemisms), but some others might not be quite as forgiving. So yeah, for purposes of the site and for future reference, this is probably about as far as I'll let these go for publication. I hope that's okay for you at least for now.
That said, your writing is still as excellent as ever.