THE DICK NIXON INSTITUTE FOR LESBIANS AGAINST GERARD WAY
The Dick Nixon Institute for Lesbians Against Gerard Way is a non-profit organization.
The Dick Nixon Institute for Lesbians Against Gerard Way exists for one reason and one reason alone: To provide a place for homosexual women of all races, ages, creeds, and walks of life to campaign for the ultimate downfall of Gerard Way: Scourge of Scourges, Brainwasher of Teenage Girls, Ultimate Proponent of the Heteronormative Society, Foreman of the Fake Rebellion Factory, Foam-Injected Axl Rose for Generation Y, and all-around not-nice individual.
The Dick Nixon Institute for Lesbians Against Gerard Way was founded by Dick Nixon on April 9th, 1977. His cabinet alerted him of the presence of an imminent threat to national security that just emerged from a festering swamp in Summit, New Jersey. Acting in a concise and expedient manner, as he always does, Good Ol' Dick called a meeting with all of his closest friends, including high-ranking members of the Black Panther Party, the Weather Underground, the New York Radical Feminists, the Gay Liberation Front, and Parliament/Funkadelic, among others. After much deliberation, it was decided that the lesbians were filled with the most vim and vigor and were also the most threatened by the newly-emerged evil entity that had been christened Gerard Way, and as such should be the ones in charge of taking him down. A bill was drafted, and both the Senate and the House passed it with unanimous support, and the Dick Nixon Institute for Lesbians Against Gerard Way became an official entity.
The Dick Nixon Institute for Lesbians Against Gerard Way exists in order to assure that never again will lesbian mothers be denied their inexorable right to go out for lunch by a bunch of hot-headed Gerard Way fans. Gerard Way is corrupting the young women of the world and turning them into raging bigots. This cannot and will not be abided: not once, not never.