Get a revolver and Pass the bar of chocolate. Welcome to Mello's Mafia Rantings. I'm your host (for now before I shoot one of you and then we have a whole crisis and what not) Mello. Anyways, *clicks the gun* if you're reading this you either have no life or are in desperate need for some action. Welcome to my Mafia. >:D

Note: there are Death Note stories in here as well as requests/art trades

Rules on Requests:

1. only friends
2. If you want it colored, you're going to have to give me some time
3. can be OCs or other characters, but it they are OCs you must either provide me with an adequate description or a picture.
4. I don't draw animals end of story.

Rules on Art Trades:

1. Anyone can ask me to do a trade, but please don't PM me with something like 'HI I JUST SAW YOUR ART AND CAN WE DO A TRADE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!' Please at least try and talk with me a bit so I can get to know ya ^^
2. I do have a right to deny people for art trades, so if I say no, please don't complain.
3. I will only do art trades for a person's OC.
4. Like #3 in Requests, you must either provide me with an adequate description or a picture.
5. That's all ^^

Random Gift Moments:

Every once in a while I'll steal an OC of someone's and draw it. If this happens, I'll dedicate the pic to you and you'll get a free fan work =P This is caused by my boredom sometimes.

-Soji

Herat Attack Joke

This came off of the “Axel and Roxas from Kingdom Hearts, and Heart Attack” joke. If any of you know it, I heard it from a friend and just had to write a story about it. I know very little about Kingdom Hearts (actually I only know people’s names. Kingdom Hearts fans please don’t kill me! I didn’t get the joke until my friend explained it to me) so if you find anything wrong, please feel free to let me know. *bows and smiles* Note this is after Light regains his memories about the Death Note. Sorry for the sudden ending too.

Light looked from Axel to Roxas and then to L. Axel had red hair and wore black clothes like robes. Roxas had the same clothes, but he had semi-blonde hair that stuck up a lot. They looked to be from an age that never existed in Tokyo. Both Axel and Roxas were taller than most of the Task Force, and there was a slight form of intimidation radiating from them.
“Yes,” L was saying, “This is Axel-san and Roxas-san. They are both skilled people, and I have already told them about the Death Note. They will be working with us for the duration of the capture of Kira.”
“Wow you guys are tall!” Matsuda said in awe, “and you look really strong! What skills do you have?”
Axel looked at Roxas who looked at L. L smiled and Roxas looked back to Axel and smiled. A charakin (if that is spelled wrong please let me know!) appeared out of nowhere and came flying towards Axel. Several of the Task Force members dived out of the way of the large spikes and screamed for everyone to get down. Rem who had been watching the silent procession felt a sudden slash as the charakin cut through her arm. She did not scream, but flinched as sand began to flow from the wound. Neither Axel nor Roxas moved. Axel reached out his hand and the charakin flew towards in and landed safely there.
“What was that?” Light asked in shock.
“Sorry for the cut,” L apologized to Rem, “they said they have fought monsters that resemble you a bit, but I had no idea that it really worked.
“It is a minor cut, and I felt no pain, but please don’t do it again or I might be reduced to sand,” Rem answered.
Light tried to control the horror on his face. They could kill Rem! I still need her! Misa! I need to get in contact with Misa and have her kill them! But how will I show them to her? This is bad! Axel and Roxas are probably just aliases. I need to get Misa to see their real names and kill them.
“I can do it too, but I have a key blade instead, “Roxas commented.
“So you can harm shinigami,” Matsuda commented.
“Back where we are from, they are called heartless and attack normal people without Death Notes. We destroy them sometimes. Most of the time we have other things better to do. L paid us handsomely to be here. This shinigami seems not to be interested in attacking anyone, so we apologize for harming you shinigami,” Axel and Roxas answered.
“Your apology is accepted,” Rem answered.
“What is more interesting is that these two could see Rem before they touched the book,” L commented.
“You called them heartless?” Rem asked. Roxas nodded and Rem became paler than usual. “A shinihami started that a long time ago before we had books to kill. We would simply suck the souls out of the body, but there came a problem when we could not get there in time to take out the soul. The soul could sometime turn into what Axel called as heartless. It is a big problem in other areas. There are no problems like that here.”
Son of a! Light thought. They can kill shinigami! Why isn’t Rem killing them now? No she is not in any immediate danger. I need Misa to kill them! When is the next time that I can see Misa? In two days. I have to make a plan. There is no way for Misa to see them, so I need to do it. I will ask her for a piece of Death Note, and since I told her always to carry one she will have one on her. Good. Now how will I kill them? Could I get then to write their own names? How could I do that? I have to learn more about these two.
“Oh nice to meet you. I’m Light Yagami,” Light smiled.
“What is a kid doing here, L?” Roxas asked.
“He is very intelligent and has been helping with the case,” L said swiveling his chair back to the desk and picking up a strawberry.
“How old are you?” Light asked, “You don’t look that much older than me.”
“Light?” Soichiro asked looking at him.
“You wouldn’t believe how old we are, so don’t ask,” Roxas answered.
Axel seems tight for information, but this Roxas seems to talk. I would probably have a better shot getting close to Roxas.
And so the day went on with Light trying to probe Roxas. Light learned a few interesting things about Axel and Roxas. They liked each other a lot, and they had been together for quite a while. During a break time, Light managed to ask Rem what Axel and Roxas’s real names were. Rem replied that they were as they said they were, Axel and Roxas. There were no last names.
So I could just kill them with the paper that Misa will give me. My watch is too risky to open now, but Misa could get the page to me in one more day. One more day. The only problem there is if the Task Force sees me writing the names down. They could prove that I am Kira. Let’s see, can I go back to the other plan and have Roxas kill them both? They do have feelings for each other. If I made it seem like I was making a card for Misa’s birthday, then Roxas might buy it and write his and Axel’s name down making another card. It is just enough to work.
So, Light waited until he got the piece of the Note and then grabbed more paper from the storage. During a break Light went to a couch and began making Misa a card.
“What are you doing?” Roxas asked looking over Light’s shoulder.
“I am making Misa a card for her birthday. She may not mean much to me really, but I hate crying women. Her birthday is in a few weeks, and I had spare time to make it,” Light said casually.
“Wow Axel and I don’t really celebrate birthdays, but I do know when his birthday is. Hey Light, give me a piece of paper.” It worked! Light thought.
Roxas made the card, and he signed his name. Light waited forty seconds, but nothing happened. What is wrong? Light thought. They should both be dead by now! What is wrong?
Rem walked over to Light and Roxas.
“What are you doing?” Rem asked.
“Making cards for birthdays,” Roxas answered.
Why aren’t they dead! WHY!
“Oh Rem, I always wanted to ask. How did you ever get a Death Note? I’m a heatless too, but I kept my human form. Did you ever know what it was like to have a heart? I remember it only a little,” Roxas asked like a little kid.
So he has no heart to kill him! Dam! I can’t pull a stunt like that again. I am stuck with these two until I kill L.

Later after L dies:
“Well we have to go now,” Axel said calmly, “We were only here because of L. Now that he is dead, we have no need to be here. Good bye.”
Then and there, Axel and Roxas walked away and disappeared from the eyes of the Task Force forever.

End