Why do I contaminate everything I touch? Why am I the only one who really is a monster?
I examine my hands, searching for an answer. Finding none, I lower my hands. It has been 23 minutes since Lelouch left. I sigh in an attempt to relieve my guilt. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help. I stand up and walk towards the dining room for dinner.
The dining room is on the second story. As I descend the stairwell, I can’t help but to think about Lelouch. I hate manipulating his feelings unconsciously. I never meant to do that to him. I silently sulk as I enter the royal dining room.
As I stride across the marble floors, I realize that I’m not alone here. I take an empty seat away from everybody and begin to fill my plate. I don’t even bother making any contact with others. I am still in a self-pity mood.
“Leave that pathetic human. He’s no good for you. If you don’t, I just might have to eat him for breakfast tomorrow.”
My eyes widen with fear as I recognize the voice. I know that voice from anywhere! It’s that bastard Beyond Birthday!
“Why should I listen to you?” I respond defiantly.
“Because, if you don’t do as I say your precious human, Lelouch, might never see another day again. You won’t want that now, would you?”
“Do you really think that I would allow you to do such a thing?” I spat testily.
“Well, if I don’t get to him, the Senate will. The last time I checked, you couldn’t even protect your arm from me. What makes you think that you can save the live of a human boy?’
I swallow a lump in my throat as the truth sinks in. I couldn’t even save my arm being torn off seven years ago. I haven’t improved at all in those seven years. I’m just a hindrance to Lelouch. I will only become the cause of his death. I can’t protect him from the vampire Senate either.
“This is your chance for a new beginning, a blank slate, a fresh start. Just run, run far away.”
I don’t turn around as Beyond Birthday silently slipped away. Can I really save Lelouch and have a clean start? Is this my only chance for redemption?
