I got up from the table and discarded of the rest of my food. I trudged my way back up the stairs to my room. I threw my body carelessly onto the bed. I removed the necklace from my neck and focused on its details. This is my way of meditating. I pick an object and put all of my concentration on it.
After what seems like hours of staring at the ornate locket, I set it aside on the nightstand and switch positions to lie on my side. I brush my long bangs behind my ear to get them out of my petite face. I let out a lengthy sigh and groan. The meditation has been proven fruitless.
When all is said and done…
My eyes widen in realization. I quickly pull myself up and hastily into change my outfit. I put on my white arm band, black knee-high socks, and crimson ribbon. I slipped on my black cleats and rush out the door.
I must leave before he notices me!
I grit my teeth together in frustration and turn my head around. My shoes screech on the floor when I am trying to come to a stop. I added pressure into my shoes to come to a halt.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Lelouch questioned impatiently. He is still in his emperor garb and he walked towards me with a look I have never seen on his face before. It was a mix between sorrow and fear.
“Leaving. I am not bound here and you cannot make me stay. The geass doesn’t affect me.” I responded. I turned my head back and I get ready to leave for the second time. I feel Lelouch grab one of my arms.
“Don’t leave.” He said quietly. I look at his face and see his lip quivering. His grip tightens around my forearm. The frown is clearly visible on his face. He looks up to meet my eyes. The expression is a mixed one. His brows show anger and his eyes are shiny. Nevertheless, it is a pained expression.
Is he going to cry?!
He jerked me forward and released my arm. He touches my chin and tilts my head up. My eyes are level with his and I notice how close we are.
“Because losing you would make me flip my lid.” He sincerely whispered. I gasped lightly in shock when I understood what he meant. I saw what he was doing next. He moved his face down, closer to mine to close the remaining space between us. He is an inch away from my lips and I feel his breath on my face. He doesn’t hesitate at the least bit and his lips crashed on mine.
He quickly becomes rough with the kiss and dominates my lips with a passion I have never felt before. I notice that he is not trying to control himself and he presses me against a wall. He wraps his arms around my neck and I feel his body against mine. I kiss him back.
No! I must stop him now if I am to make it out of here with my sanity!
I regained control of my body and harshly pushed Lelouch away from me. He loses his footing and falls down. His eyes were filled with awestruck. He looks at me as if I had ripped out his heart and stomped on it. Tears fall down his eyes. His wide eyes refused to leave me. I immediately glared at him with the coldest look I could muster. I notice something on the ground and I look at it. It was a white heart-shaped locket. It was Nunually’s!
I will be the one to leave you in the misery and hate what you've become.
I snatch the locket and bolt out the door without glancing back. I have made up my mind. Tears begin to fall down my face as I deal with the tough times ahead. I know what I must do. I must not think about him now. Yet, I cannot force myself to take my mind off of him.
Why do I contaminate everything I touch? Why am I the only one who really is a monster?
I examine my hands, searching for an answer. Finding none, I lower my hands. It has been 23 minutes since Lelouch left. I sigh in an attempt to relieve my guilt. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help. I stand up and walk towards the dining room for dinner.
The dining room is on the second story. As I descend the stairwell, I can’t help but to think about Lelouch. I hate manipulating his feelings unconsciously. I never meant to do that to him. I silently sulk as I enter the royal dining room.
As I stride across the marble floors, I realize that I’m not alone here. I take an empty seat away from everybody and begin to fill my plate. I don’t even bother making any contact with others. I am still in a self-pity mood.
“Leave that pathetic human. He’s no good for you. If you don’t, I just might have to eat him for breakfast tomorrow.”
My eyes widen with fear as I recognize the voice. I know that voice from anywhere! It’s that bastard Beyond Birthday!
“Why should I listen to you?” I respond defiantly.
“Because, if you don’t do as I say your precious human, Lelouch, might never see another day again. You won’t want that now, would you?”
“Do you really think that I would allow you to do such a thing?” I spat testily.
“Well, if I don’t get to him, the Senate will. The last time I checked, you couldn’t even protect your arm from me. What makes you think that you can save the live of a human boy?’
I swallow a lump in my throat as the truth sinks in. I couldn’t even save my arm being torn off seven years ago. I haven’t improved at all in those seven years. I’m just a hindrance to Lelouch. I will only become the cause of his death. I can’t protect him from the vampire Senate either.
“This is your chance for a new beginning, a blank slate, a fresh start. Just run, run far away.”
I don’t turn around as Beyond Birthday silently slipped away. Can I really save Lelouch and have a clean start? Is this my only chance for redemption?
“All hail emperor Lelouch! All hail Lelouch vi Britannia!” Crowds chant over and over again. Several stories separate me from the throng. They have been like this for hours, ‘All hail the almighty 99th emperor of Britannia’ or ‘Lelouch is all powerful’. It’s monotonous.
Lelouch Lamperouge killed the 98th emperor of Britannia, Charles of Britannia. Lelouch is now the new emperor of Britannia. Of course I know why everybody is the way they are. Lelouch used the geass on the crowd while he made his debut as the new emperor. It’s hypocrisy! The reason why I’m not hypnotized is because the geass doesn’t affect me. Mind tricks don’t work on me.
I toy around with my pendant as I wait for Lelouch to arrive. CC is taking her place as Zero. I turn around as I hear footsteps going up the stairs. Judging by the lack of noise, I assume that it is Lelouch. I am greeted by his raven hair and violet eyes. I notice him carrying the white emperor’s robe. The elegant garb contrasts his complex as the dark prince. The gold material glistens in the afternoon sunlight. Lelouch turns his head to address me.
“Having fun pretending that you’re someone special?” I ask. Everything about today perturbs me deeply. I fold my arms across my chest, waiting for an explanation. I immediately notice the furrow in his brow.
“You know I’ve been waiting for this for a long time,” He says, “He killed my mother, kidnapped Nunually and took away her sight.”
I refuse to budge, “That still doesn’t make it right. You didn’t have to make the citizens into your personal slaves. He is your father.” I respond coolly.
A frown appears on Lelouch’s face. His expression is one of regret and defeat. I can tell that my words sink into his conscious. I am the only one who can manipulate his emotions so freely. By the time I realize what I have done, it is too late. I watch helplessly as Lelouch continues to walk away. I regret ever opening my mouth in the first place. I really do bring pain to everyone who crosses my path.