The following will contain profanity.
It has also come to my attention that I have a massive ego that clashes with other peoples massive egos. If you have one, it may be comforting to know beforehand that I am always right.
Clearly this is an inconvenient flaw in my personality. The God's that be laughed when they created me.
However, I can admit my faults, therefore, I am not the system's bitch and eternally awesome.
CoDy
I'm ganna write a review the proper way, as I'm watching the movie!
Actually, that's not the proper way, but I forget shit like, 5 seconds after I see it, so this is best. (excuse all typos, this has been written over a 2 and a half hour period, and I no longer care about spelling)
I'm watching Twilight right now and here are my thoughts 30 minutes in. Oh, wait, before I start, the vampire characters were said to have been adopted from Alaska, which is ironic cause I immediatly thought of 30 Days of Night, which takes place in Alaska, vampires. hahaha.
Funniest parts so far - Bella's dad's Native friend sitting in his wheel chair and saying "I'm down with the kids" while doing typical gang hand signs. Bella's dad responds with "Yeah... sure..."
Edward is trying to explain to Bella why his eyes were black the other day but are now brown, he says "it has to do with the florescent lighting and..." then just walks away, mid sentence. Priceless.
Anyway, the film so far is intriguing. Its weird how it captures your attention like it does. The character development is HORRIBLE and this really does feel like a movie ment for the fans of the book. You don't know anything about any of the people, only the initial perception you gain upon first meeting. Though, it still draws you in. So far, everything has happened quickly with very little attention being given to any subject. Bella almost being killed by a car is miniscule happenings. I'm thinking this would have worked better as a mini series rather then a movie, but alas. Every other character except Bella and Edward are annoying as shit. They all have massive personality flaws that make them intollerable. The Asian guy who runs the school newspaper holds up a worm exclaiming to Bella "Its a worm! a worm!" while laughing histerically as if he has never seen one in his life. Considering they are in rainy Washington, that's an unbelievable reaction to a worm sighting.
Continueing on.
The way Edward talks reminds me of Star Trek William Shatner. Its annoying as fuck. He speaks in broken sentences and the initial conversations he has with Bella seem very forced, and its likely the director intended for that to happen, but you can tell they both want to say something but won't. That gets irritating as they continue to converse. I also didn't understand why Edward hated the sight and smell of Bella when they first met. This was his "black eyed" day, so I'm assuming it'll have something to do with that.
Okay, we're at the 1 hour marker.
Just got to the point where Bella tells Edward she knows he's a vampire. Super.
Okay, I don't remember anything that happened lol.
No, um, Edward has mad driving skills, like MAD skillz. He can do super shit, yatta yatta, its kinda neat. He stopped talking all weird too.
I want to discuss Bella's Native friend. That guy is cool. He should be in a lot more scenes. I like his acting a lot, he plays his character well and with fantastic charisma. He's a pleassure to watch indeed.
On the other side, I don't really like Bella's acting at this point. I have this pet peeve with a game called Oblivian, you might have heard of it, cause unfortunatly, its the best selling RPG on the 360. Anyway, the characters in that game all have no facial expressions. Their voices show emotion to a degree, but thier faces do nothing to portray it. Their mouths move, thats it. With Bella, I feel she is the opposite of these Oblivion characters whereas she has great facial expressions, and they really do tell a thousand words, especially opposed to Edward, but her voice is completely mono tone, no matter what she is saying. If she's with friends, talking to Edward, her father, the Native kid, and even when she just told Edward she knew he was a vampire and wasn't afraid, yet it never changes. That is annoying for sure. I feel the best way to portray your feelings is to through the expression of your voice, and like in the Japanese culture, vocal expression is the difference between a simple "yes" and "fuck you". I'm thinking this may be intentional to Bella's character, it would certainly make sense, but then, why the fuck are people attracted to her? Why is she accepted so fast, everyone wants to be her friend, etc. That's odd, cause she's not that friendly and not a people magnet.
Let's continue.
OHHH! At 64 minutes, gotta throw this in before I forget, best line yet! "Your smell, its like a drug to me. Like my own personal brand of heroine" man was that well written. This whole bit is awesome right now, as was that. I mention this because it gives insight to why he was offended by her smell at the beginning, he wanted to kill her and drink her warm red shit. That makes sense, its also lame sounding.
That whole bit I discussed about shit happening fast was good. It got all the crap out of the way.
I'm at like, 85 minutes and I have to write now. I was just at a point where I thought to myself "I have to read this book series". I've never felt that way before while watching a movie based on a book. But anyway, the shit Edward says is funny when he calls out Bella. Like, "Wait, you're not worried about being in a house full of vampires, you're worried about if my parents will like you?" that is just priceless, he's done it a few times now and I like it. I also want to mention the diction really quick. Its spectacular. I need a fucking dictionary next time I see this movie so I can learn all these things and sound smarter.
Okay, the Native guy. He knows they are vampires. I know he does. Its obvious now. That's kind of odd. His son clearly doesn't, he just knows the silly legends and stories daddy taught him, but the elders do. That makes things interesting and I want to be proven right later on.
I like how Edward is acting in general now toward Bella. He's entertaining to watch and listen to. The scene in the woods when he was explaining everything was heart pounding. It was very deep and you were just waiting to hear what he would say next. Quite interesting. This section of the film was really written well. Oh yeah! Lions and lambs! That was great. Edward refers to he and Bella as the lion and the lamb, respectively. Then Bella says "The stupid lamb" and Edward responds with "and the sick (some word I couldn't understand) lion" then they chuckle. Loved that line.
Ahah, newest vegetarian. At the start when Bella came to the new school, she asked who these kids were, the vampires actually, and her new friend explained this and that about each, and she said "this one guy is so-and-so, he always looks like he's hurting" and now I get it. He is the newest vampire to that particular family, and he looks like he's always hurting because he is struggling to not eat humans, as Edward puts it, he's "the newest vegetarian".
Its official, I'm... ehhh... 80 minutes here, Bella's father is fucking awesome. He's so funny. What els eis official is that this is the longest review I've ever written. Anyway, Bella tells her father Edward is right outside and wants to meet him, meanwhile, her father is cleaning a shotgun. He snaps it closed and says "alright, bring him in" while holding the shot gun. Then Bella tells him to be nice and he circles a ring around his head, a halo. This guy is pricecless. Discussing baseball, "Bella's ganna play baseball? Um.. good luck with that..." hahaha.
Let's just say Edward is a deep character. He is fasinating at every moment. He hides things, then shows them, and its neat watching him progress, kinda like reading this review.
Okay, movies done now, so, final thoughts time.
It was 12 minutes to long I think. Much like my feeling after watching the latest Batman, The Dark Knight twice, there was a defining point in this movie where it could have ended and everyone would have been content. That being said, the way they did end this left it WIDE open, which means that when they wrote the script, they already wanted to make two sequels for the other two books. That's very evident.
Cam. Fuck I love him. He is so badass in everything he plays. I think if he were a good guy in anything the world would be thrown off his axis. I'm very glad for him to get this part, it makes him a bigger actor, his presence is short lived though. He dies so.... unconventionally. Its meaningless, his role in this film. It seems the writers thought it needed a little bit of conflict so they threw in a 15 minutes chase and death scene. Not that I'd call it that, we saw nothing. Here's the good part though, I was thinking while Cam, who's character is James, was doing the chase of Bella, to try and kill her, I figured there was going to be some lame ass fight scene, that they would turn a good movie into bullshit with one simple action, basically, create another Covenent. Not that I didn't like the Covenent, its just the fights were fucking retarded. For that matter, all the super power displays in this movie were retarded. They weren't even neseccary at all. I would have been fine with them just saying "oh yeah, I'm super fast, I can climb high shit and jump really far" but no, they had to show it. The jumping from tree to tree thing looked SO lame, like, Edward jumped completely horizontal. There was no lift from his leap or fall. There should have been! It doesn't take much to pull on the suppost cable and then he goes up! Wow! Wicked concept! I bet the editor got that footage and was like "what... the fuck...".
Well, they did successfully carry the story all the way threw. Bella's almost dying scene was nice. I liked how she showed some emotion there! Though, the last section of the movie, while being hunted and shit, Edward got on my nerves with some of his antics about protecting Bella. Dude, chill, there are 7 of you to kick one guys ass, which you successfully did, and quite quickly I might add.
I really liked this movie. When everyone was hyped for it, I was kinda curious as to how it would turn out. I haven't read any of the books, that's not to say I haven't heard of them, I did know what they were about, vaguely. But I mean, when people get hyped about things, it makes me wonder if its ganna be a blow out or not. I really wish this movie hadn't gotten labelled as a teen flick, just some lame ass romantic drama between kids. Its so much more then that. it has a lot of redeeming qualities. Unfortunatly, not a lot of people are going to see that. Like, the shots were amazing, some of the scenery was very impressive, while the way they managed to maintain the grungy look throughout and keep with the vision for the film was fantastic. I am impressed. The story was deep. It was involving. Though the character development wasn't fully there, the interactions between Bella and Edward felt warm and they were exciting. Its not every day you see a movie like this, so the characters feelings and actions were amusing to watch. I want people to know about this, and that it isn't what everyone thinks it is. This isn't High School Musical or Harry Potter, this is legitimately good film making and story telling.
I watched this for one reason, I believed the hype. I wanted to see what it was all about. I've been doing that a lot lately and I've enjoyed what I am seeing. I have to stay on the pulse of pop culture, that is important to me, and this is something I will tell people about. Minds need to be changed on subjects like this movie and I cannot wait until they release the next one.
2010.
- end longest review ever and first time doing so while watching the movie -
CoDy
Life: 11/28/08 | Posted By: beyblader | 2 comments |
Before I get carried away, yes I saw Quantum of Solace, TWICE!!! I saw it opening night, which was Friday, then a few days later on Monday. It was badass and better the second time. Twilight is still on my list. I was also accused today of being an uncool High School Musical watcher. That's not true! I only saw the first one! Fuck you Lauren! You watch Corner Gas and think that's good! And Gossip Girl is awesome! Fuck you Lauren! You hurt my feelings.... anyway.... ahem....
ANCHORMAN mother fuckers!
Okay, the first time I saw this movie, I didn't like it, at all. Let me explain why. I was at this school event called Fast Blast, we fasted for Africa, 30 hours without food, it was fun, we stayed the night at the high school, which became our playground. In the library, where the girls stayed, all cozy and warm, we put on Anchorman for entertainment, which it wasn't because we were all too hopped up on caffine, to many people to entertain me already, and to much potential fun to be had. I got through 20 minutes before declaring it retarded.
What one needs to know before watching Anchorman:
- pay full attention, the entire movie consists of quotable lines.
- don;t be on a sugar high, though it helps to be slightly tired so things become more funny
- disregard the fact you see gross 70's chest hair a fair amount of times
- pretend for 1 hour and 36 minutes that Ron Burgandy is not Will Farrell.
Okay, let's begin.
It was fucking hilarious. I did all of the above, which made it better. The only reason I even gave this a second shot was because a guy I know kept quoting the film the other day and it made me laugh. This thing truely is a gem as far as funny lines go.
The forced action was retarded though, like the news anchor fight in a back lot. What.The.Fuck.
Clearly the best part was the news team itself. I hated Christina Applegate's character, she was annoying and bitchy, but the guys, together, reminded me a lot of the comedy created among the crew in Employee of the Month. Priceless.
Brick, played by what's his face from the Office was PHENOMENAL! Everything he said was gold. He plays a slightly retarded guy on the team, the weather man, and never understands the situation. At the end, in the bear pit, everyone is fighting bears off them and he is riding one like a horse, then he cuddles with it later on. The best line in the whole movie was when the news team is complaining about this new girl taking their air time and yelling at their boss and Brick just stands up and screams "LOUD NOISES!" just to be heard. Did I ever laugh! That was an amazing scene.
Anyway, you want the quotable movie of the decade, that's the one. Give it a shot, or two, if you're like me, and see how it turns out and what you remember.
I am tired right now, so I can't remember dick, but yeah, check that shit out.
CoDy
Life: 11/24/08 | Posted By: beyblader | 0 comments |
Funny story.
I watch a movie every night.
I'm making it a regular thing so I can see a bunch and thus grasp cultural references relevant to my field of study, that being film.
my point.
I'm fucking... ah. Fuck this shit.
I've seen a hand full of movies I wanted to see, the rest were suggested for me by friends and such as things I should see. Example, I just finished watching "The Shawshank Redemption".
Now.....
Donnie Darko.
Fuck no, save me now.
I do know the cult status of this film, and I realize yes, its probably great, but slow? Ridicules? Yes please. I can't take that form of mental film torture, it brings back haunting memories of Charlie Chaplin and "Citizen Kane" flicks... man... dying inside right now...
Yeah, so, my point here that I originally came to make was I watched "High School Musical". I plan to watch 2 and 3 sometime soon. I'm also going to catch "Twilight" when it comes out.
Why?
Because.
Not like I'm paying for it, and I'm learning plenty of things from this. Maybe these things I bash are somewhat good! Regardless, my soul will be ever pleased upon viewing of "Quantum of Solace" and I promise to actually write a meaningful review of how mother fucking kick ass its going to be.
Yeah bitches!
Cody is crankin' out her opinion tonight!
CoDy
Life: 11/11/08 | Posted By: beyblader | 0 comments |
Wanted
So, I promised the eyes on the internet a review of Wanted, and thus, I am writing it, only 5 minutes after watching it.
"What the fuck have you done lately?"
This movie had some of the most creative character commentary since Fight Club. Wesley, our lead, has one fucked up sense of humor, and how he dictates his life is quite comical. Okay, so that's good, but let's face it, other than that, the script of this film blows.
Wesley has the worst dialog of anyone. At the end when he is on the hunt for Sloan, his constant screaming for him in giant rooms gets really old. You're a fucking assassin dude, act like it, don't give your position away by standing in the middle of a two story room and yell for the guy you're after. Fuck. Once he has been trained, Wesley constantly makes the statement "this is what you trained me for!" and yeah, everyone fucking knows that dick head! Stop saying it every time you don't get what you want!!! The last group of idiotic things that come from his mouth include all his hesitations to training. Stop being such a pussy man, if they say shoot the wings off a fly, then fucking try, don't bitch about it! Some guy handed you a gun and asked you to do something cool.
Okay, the worst part of the movie was when Wesley went ape shit to kill Sloan. Since when does he get to be a badass? Oh wait, no, back up, since he went off to kill his father Cross (unknowingly), was he a badass. Its like he magically gets these wicked ass kicking skills just because. I think it's to try and make his character look cool beside Fox and Cross, who both own hardcore. regardless, he looks like a fucking retard, and is WAY to intense with everything. How come a guy who has been an assassin for 6 weeks can kick all the combined asses of the entire Fraternity in one go? You guys suck. Its like when Batman ass rapes all the ninjas in Batman Begins after having just completed his training. The realism in action movies is slipping.
So I'm sure you're like "Cody, who the fuck are all these people you're talking about? What is the Fraternity?" well don't shit your pants kids, I was getting to that. The Fraternity is a group of assassins who kill people to balance society or some gay shit like that. Fox is a member (Angelina Jolie bitches!), she trains Wesley, the protagonist, and later tries to kill him. Cross is Wesley's father, but he is tricked into thinking he is a bad guy by Sloan, the leader of the Fraternity. He an asshole. Now you all know, so pay attention here.
"Six weeks ago I was ordinary and pathetic, just like you."
Ha! I loved that line.
Anyway, what was cool about this movie? The fucking action! Two cases of cars flipping upside down and kicking ass. Wesley shooting out the train window and falling into a pool of water in a canyon. The bullets connecting and deflecting each other six billion times. Basically everything that Angelina Jolie does. She's awesome. The action makes this movie, and its intense. That and the exploding mice. The technology they introduce is really cool too, like the baths that super heal wounds and that adrenalin effect that makes things appear slow because your heart is beating so fast. It makes the story different and very intriguing.
Generally, it was a cool movie. I didn't like Wesley, he was a cock munching pussy who thought he was cool, when in fact, the only time he was cool was when he told off that fat bitch at the office and smoked his best friend in the face with a keyboard. Watch only that scene and you'll be satisfied with the movie. Every scene Jolie was in rocked, especially when she clocked Wesley. haha, he deserved it, dumb prick. That's all I have to say folks. Make an informed decision now, and be sure to wear diapers, we wouldn't want any accidents.
CoDy
Life: 10/04/08 | Posted By: beyblader | 0 comments |
I know, I know, I haven't posted dick all up here lately, and in all honesty, I have a slew of new music, movies and games I have interacted with that would make fantastic material, problem is, they are things I greatly enjoyed, like PURE for the Xbox 360, a few new songs from T.I. and the movie "Burn After Reading" to name a few. That's not as much fun as completely trashing something right? But, I am planing on watching "War Inc." and "Wanted" tomorrow, hopefully "Nick and Nora" will be on the internet by the time tomorrow rolls around as well so I can take a few shots at that sure to be comedic masterpiece.
In the meantime, I want you all you go over to my other World, the Chronicles of Cody, and read the latest two posts. My critiques have got nothing on these... well, besides more profanity, but as far as I'm concerned, what I have written in what I'm going to call my new mini-series, "Dear Robert", is gold. Yes I am a comedic person. No, usually not as much so online only because expression is the key to comedy. That being said, I had some people read the first "Dear Robert" letter today and the response was fantastic. Do you and I a favor, go there now, read at least the one from yesterday, which is much shorter and explanatory of what I am going through right now as a human being. Enjoy it like you would a birthday cake you bought at the grocery store just for the sake of doing so.
Love ya
CoDy
Life: 10/04/08 | Posted By: beyblader | 0 comments |
