You know, I like this little world.
I'm going to give him more attention in the future.

I feel the insatiable need to beat some ass

What is with all this damn roleplaying? I can't even find a good conversation on chat anymore. What the hell is this shit? Dammit chat. DAMMIT. I don't even want to talk about it anymore.

I should feel like a bad person, but I don't

My utter disdain for online relationships probably prevents this from happening. And the realization that Koba will just hop to another girl in a matter of weeks anyway. God, are they really all so short-sighted? Logs eventually, with hilarious commentary included. Pic related, it's my attitude towards this whole thing.

Piss. A whole bottle full of it.

Kids these days, and their obsession with death. Back in my day we used to be obsessed with life. Sometimes I wonder why I get on the chat. Sometimes I wonder why I even turn my computer on at all. I could be doing other things. I could write a story. I could start a band. I could show up on girlfriend's lawn, wearing nothing but an acoustic guitar and my heart on my sleeve. I could break into that abandoned warehouse in town. Sometimes I wonder why I get on the chat. I'm just tired of 13 year olds and their obsession with death. Sure, when you're young and an asshole, death seems pretty cool. You're distant from it then. But at some point people seem to realize: "Hey, I've only got a limited amount of time on this world, and I haven't even begun to fulfill my dreams," but they're too old then. Far too old. And then they can't move to New York or travel across Europe or fall in love because they spent too long waiting around and not enough time doing things. Carpe diem, motherfuckers. Seize the goddamn day and don't let it go, ever. You think you have tomorrow, but you really don't. Money can be earned back. Time can't. I'd rather waste money than time. Whenever some dick talks about how their life isn't worth living, I'd like to hand them a noose and tell them to get it over with. It sickens me. Given, we all have bad days and bad weeks and bad months and bad years even, but we've got to hang on. We're not dead and we still have a chance. We should use it. But no. We stay inside and mope and wallow and don't even try to wring something useful from our self-pity. When I think of just how transparent everything is, it's crushingly depressing. But I realize that I can't stay that way for long. I'm wormfood, guys. You are too.

We can't stop the sun, but we can make him run.

I've discovered something

It is my moral and ethical obligation to do amazing things every day. Doing anything otherwise would be a waste, and I'd essentially be spitting in the face of everyone who's ever lived, who ever will live, and (most of all) who never got the chance to live. I'm not sure why it took me so long to figure this out. But I feel like I've just woken up or something. I've got to become a creator instead of a passive observer. I think I owe this epiphany to the coalescence of several unrelated events: this (but mostly my reaction to it [see comments]), last night's coffee-fueled late-night writing extravaganza, some shit that I vaguely remember happening but can't quite recall (it's very impressionistic), some DIY-themed dream I had last night, and (most importantly, I feel) the strange and eerie recurrence of a quote from the Gospel of Thomas which I was entirely unfamiliar with before it pounced on me twice in the same day: first in a reading assignment for my creative writing class, and then on the reverse label of a Silver Jews record that I found for $6 at a local music store. It was:

If you bring forth what is within you, it will save you.
If you don't bring forth what is within you, it will destroy you.

Gentlemen, I've discovered the meaning of life.

"Hay gaiz I'm bad at interacting with people so I'm just going to be a jackass, k?"

You know, when I first joined I was vehemently opposed to what was referred to by some as "the lobby crowd." I thought they were elitist assholes, every last one of them. They threw around in-jokes in what seemed like a purposeful attempt to alienate anyone who was new, and were generally into pwning n00blets (and I'd link to Sangome's Chatlogs of Doom world if it wasn't closed off to the outside world. Prior to the "clean-up" that was enacted on it, there were some great examples of Mods (and Friends of Mods) Being Dicks™. One that really sticks with me was the trolling of some kid from Indonesia (which contained the whisper: "Why are they always from there?" Because that doesn't sound racist in the slightest. How dare those non-native-English-speakers fall for your jokes?! But I'm getting off topic.) Post-clean-up, it was more or less one giant moderator circlejerk peppered with more in-jokes and a few discussions that anyone not within theO's inner circle would get booted for (a chatlog of the meaning of "69" comes to mind. It's supposed to be PG gaiz).).

But anyway, time went on and I actually came to know some of the mods. Beth and all of the golden ones are cool, even Kaydirt, who I originally detested. I still know nothing about Adam though, but I can live with that. I'd gotten over hating the moderators because I realized that they were just doing their jobs: they weren't elitist or wrongfully booting people for the lulz. I wish I could say the same about their friends though (actually, most of them are okay. But there's a select few that really piss the hell out of me.). And I thought I was past this phase. Then again, it's pretty hard not to rage when I read shit like this:

Giantprick* joined the room.
Giantprick gives Moderator diapers
Moderator: Hahaha.
Moderator: Thanks Giantprick.
Moderator: ;D
Giantprick: Moderator: distribute away!
Moderator: I was running out.
Moderator: Got any pacifiers handy?
Moderator: :P
Giantprick: here
Giantprick gives Moderator pacifiers
Cezieni: Oh, I see what you guys are doing there/
Giantprick left the room. (Going to Otaku Lobby)
Cezieni: Get it, because we're all immature
Cezieni: AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Cezieni: HA

*Names changed to protect an asshole.
Disclaimer: I'm not ripping on Moderator, despite the fact that she went along with the joke. I know Moderator and like Moderator. In fact, Moderator will likely be reading this and commenting on it. But Moderator, I just want you to know that I have the utmost respect for you. Giantprick, however, needs to read up on my favorite Russian philosophers, Phuckov and Di.

HOW FUNNY AND ORIGINAL!!!!1 I mean, who would've thought to mock people you don't like (and don't even know for the most part) by indirectly calling them immature through the use of items associated with babies? Not I, for certain. I haven't seen such innovative prop comedy since Carrot Top! But in all honesty, fuck you.

The sad thing is this is exactly the stuff that I railed against in my younger days: the elitism, the snobbery, the looking down upon anyone who decides to go to a room besides the Lobby or Solace. Please note that this shining example of douchery is also 23. Please refer to the title.

Listen: don't talk down to us. A good portion of the people in the non-lobby rooms are a lot younger than your 23-year-old self. And though I dislike saying it, you have much more "experience" with life. I'm not saying you have to like us, because I certainly don't like you. But at least be civil. Try to understand that we are that much younger than you, and less mature as a result of that (on second thought, how mature is the bullshit that I copy-pasted above?). Just think of the way you were as a teenager. I'm sure you've had your moments of sillyness, your moments of illogical passion, your moments of ignorance, and your moments of etc. So please let us have ours.