So, I was cleaning out my car yesterday and found her brush in the door. ...God damnit! Why is it that I have no problem building up a good defense to not allow other people within my life, to shut them out, but when it comes to physical items or Memories I have to fucking breakdown so god damn easily. I really felt like I was moving on or at least starting to, but I guess I was just making myself numb this whole time. And fucking break up love songs don't help at all. Stupid New Age music... I swear I'm going to make myself so numb to the point where I'm going to stop loving and caring about people... and now I just wish this shit never fucking happened. Why does the human emotion have to be so frail? Still wish she would just talk to me. Where's a fucking reset button when need one?
Hey guys. So I started drawing Ayu and Jet, the main characters of Embers of The Eccentric (seriously thinking about changing the title). So far I have only done the outline, but it's coming out nicely. It's been a long time since I've drawn anything. I want to say the last thing I drew was a picture for Tea and that was like 3 years ago. I'm super rusty, but I'm remembering how much enjoyment drawing is.
It's hard the express the theme for this story. It's somewhat developed in a post-apocalyptic Manhatten or Los Angeles (location is subjected to change) where the surrounding buildings are crumbling, streets are cracked, plant life is taking over, kind of like how I Am Legend was, but more smog and darkness. I really wanted to give it somewhat a gothic type of feel which I'm trying to portray through these characters and story.
I've been doing okay these last few days. I'm still fighting depression like a bitch, but I'm really trying to not let it hinder me from doing this story. I really want to get this story going... but yeah. Anyways, I'll catch you guys later.
Yup, you read right. This song makes me want to do drag. Like I'm not even kidding. I highly... HIGHLY feel like doing drag and making a cutesy music video for this song. I've got nothing against drag, I think it's a great art form that's a little under appreciated. I just never expected myself wanting to do this. *waits for the "Nigga you gay!" reply... remembers that I'm not dating Tea anymore* oh yeah~ XD Anyways, I want to get a few friends into it, also. I just know it'd be a lot harder to get them to dress up in cutesy girl clothes than it would for me. Maybe I'll bribe them with cupcakes and cookies. I dunno. But if I really go through with this I want it to hit big. But yeah! Here's the song :P
So, first off, Happy Valentine's Day. Second off, I guess I unintentionally lied about not eating candy??? ITWASNTONPURPOSEDONTKILLMEICANEXPLAIN!!! >A<;;
So, today while I was at work, my mom thought it'd be nice of her to go out and get me some chocolate. I think it was because she knew that I was still a little messed up inside and that I was going to hate this day so much. She's such a sweety which is why she's the best mom I could ever askfor. Which is why I was thinking about getting her something a little special for Mother's Day. Anyways, so she went out and bought me this nice looking Ghirardelli box of dark chocolate with strawberry filling. Now, im not a big fan of dark chocolate, let alone filled dark chocolate, but when I took a bite of this square....... HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. This is probably the best strawberry filled chocolate I have ever had. The jelly was so fresh I actually thought I bit into a chocolate covered strawberry for a second.
I was detesting this day all day. I didn't exactly show it to anyone since I was being very reclusive, but these chocolates really made me feel better. Thanks, mom, for making me feel better during this holiday.
I'm not! :D Ever since Tea and I broke up, my idea of Valentine's Day kind of reverted back to what I thought of it as. Just an ordinary day that doesn't mean much. So, all that hard work of getting me to understand how great Valentine's Day is went completely to shit! Yaaaaaayyyyy~~~ :D Too bad we broke up... I was actually looking foward to spending this years Valentine's Day with her the way she would have wanted it spent. Tomorrow I'm most likely going to be super depressed because thoughts are definitely going to be racing, but what can I do? Guess Valentine's Day just isn't for everyone, yeah?
Regardless of me being a poopy stupid head, to all of you with valentines, enjoy your day with your loved one! Even thought you can literally do that during any of the other 364 days of the year. To you guys that don't, I feel your pain, but hey! At least we get sales candy afterwards! A little something my ex taught me. X3 *is probably not going to buy some due to wanting to lose more weight*
Anyways, whatever the occasion is, I hope everyone has a good day tomorrow!
Even though it's a little early, Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! :3