the way the cars move around and past me makes the oncoming traffic's headlights look like a string of blinking christmas lights. my eyes - already burning with that dry, heavy feeling you usually get after you cry for a few hours - desperately want to close but since i'm controlling a moving vehicle, i refuse them the relief.
i have the music on too loud, and i'm probably following too close to the asshole in front of me but i'm feeling reckless tonight. same as every night. my quiet, underlying wish to die young is testing the waters of my pressing thoughts.

'not tonight' i say to no one in particular, drowned out by a man's timed wailing, perfectly on pitch. 'someday, but not today.'