I world for ranting, for letting out negative feelings.
- Created By SmallxLady
Why do I try?
Hello my lovelies....Im sort of stuck at the moment. No like depressed, or upset but...disappointed. The friends Ive had for years are becoming people I dont even know anymore. Off line friends. One more than the other has just....like I said I dont know her anymore. Shes turned into an ass just shutting people down left and right and becoming something awful. I....I just feel disappointed in her. -sighs- Ive given her chances time and time again but now Im wondering why.
Read with caution. Strong language ahead.
Yesterday was an awful day my lovelies. I went into work with my normal thoughts in mind. *what section will I have?* * I hope Im on third floor.* *I wonder if Ill have a late lunch again?* nothing out of the ordinary. Well...yesterday was a test of nerves and self control. I was on C section which is normally Ashleys but she wasnt working yesterday so I covered for her. No biggy. Well...her section has Jonah on it. Jonah is an old man thats very demanding. Before I didnt really have any trouble out of him. But yesterday,he decided hedidnt like me and almost got me in a lot of trouble...
He has an alarm in his bed and his chair because hes a fall risk and tries to do things for himself that he really cant do anymore. His chair alarm kept going off so I went in to check on him and he got up to use the toilet. Which meant he peed all over the floor again. No big deal. Im used to that. I asked if there was anytng he needed. He said "No get out!" Which was weird, hes never yelled at me before but whatever, I just shrugged it off and went on with getting vitals for the entire floor.
Five minutes later his bathroom light goes off. So I run back to his hall and check on him. I asked him if he was finished "no Im not finished dammit! I cant shit. You have to stay in here with me." So I explained I cant do that, I have to finish getting the vitals done. I told him when he was finished to put his light on again and Id help him clean up and get back in his chair. Five minutes later...the same thing happens. And then again five minutes later. This happened a few more times until he got up himself stripped down completely naked and sat on the edge of his bed. He didnt wipe btw....
So I had to stop getting vitals, get the stuff to clean him up, clean him, get a new brief, put clothes on him, but wait he doesnt have any shirts....ran down to laundry. They didnt have anything for him. So I had to put his roommates shirt on him for now. And he complained about that. Then I leave his room and he wheels after me demanding to go to the activity on the hill. Apparently after talking to the activities director, she explained he was talking about the war. She told me to take him into the day room so he could play the game shed be bringing in in a few minutes.
I get there at 6:30. I didnt finish getting vitals until 9:30 because of him...oh it gets better though. He was on the shower list for me today...but I had other people to take care of too. We each had about 11 people we were responsible for. Excluding Kim she gets 9 which is kind of unfair but whatever at this point I dont really care anymore. So Im trying to get one of my buddies washed up and Jonah starts yelling for me. I go check on him, hes on the toilet again....so we're playing this game again.
Then when I finally finish getting Mae ready (my buddy) its his turn for a shower. I get his stuff ready and the whole time hes cussing me and being rather rude. He asks me "have you ever lost a paitent?" While I was showering him. I said no and asked why. He repllies "well youre about to. You can kiss my ass!" I stopped and looked up at him (was washing his feet at the time) "Jonah thats very rude. You have no reason to talk to me that way. i habent done one thing wrong to you." And his reply? "Eat a dick!" After everything that happened before that I had finally had enough. "Jonah you cant talk like that to me I havent done anything wrong. Thats very disrespectful not to menton rude." "Get out of here!" So...I just let him yell, got him clean, put his clothes on him and put him back in his room. Or at least I tried. I made him mad when I didnt answer him while he was yelling so he quickly put his breaks on his chair and almost fell in the floor from the sudden stop. I said "Jonah why did you do that?! You could have been hurt!" He says "that will teach you not to ignore me when Im talking to you wont it? If it takes you being fired then fine I dont care. Uou should listen to me." That was it, I have had it, I left him in the hall right there and told the nurse everything. Not that it did anything but at least they know I guess.
Update
I think this just about discribes how I feel. Not only have my parents almost cost me my job but now more plumbing problems strang up and the plumber is having a hard time with it...Im past the point of anger to where Im just tired and I just want a break. As it turns out Im having what looks like another allergic reaction but to what I havent the slightest clue...something from works got my hands broken out in horible itchy bumps. I first thought it was latex gloves (allergic to latex) but the gloves are vinel so...idk x.x Im...Im just a mess and Im so done with it. At this point I feel like Im taking one step forward and four steps back. -bangs head lightly on table repeatedly- ughh...maybe its still the strawberries...idk.
Idk what to do about the plumbing either. Hes gathering materials he thinks hell need to fix it so maybe everything will be ok with that at least. I work the next three days then Im off the weekend again. Maybe thing will look up tomorrow and I can get that stupid test done. Oh and figure out why Im breaking out.
Update:
I think the tubs working now so thats one thing fixed. I feel a little better now but that $150 bucks out of our pockets after spending $135 renewing the tags and $750 for the house x.x oh well we needed to get all that stuff done. Im still pretty upset with my parents though...is that bad? I mean, I know I shouldnt let that get to me so much but...it does. Sorry for whining so much guys...
Im so f*cking fed up....
Im done, thats it. DONE. Im not going to bother with them anymore, send gifts for christmas, nothing. Im just so done with those people to the point that they no longer exist in my mind anymore....
So You know I have a new job yes? You know that once you get said job, they require two forms of id. I had my ssc but I havent been able to change my id card yet. Do you know why? Because my parents wont send me my birth certificate. Withot that, I cant renew my id card.
Because of that, I almost lost my new job just because my parents wanted to be dicks.....pardon me for saying that....Im just so upset Im shaking as I type this...I was so worried Id loose my job that I called my Aunt that lives near my parents to see if she could go to the deeds office and get it for me or convince them to send it but nope. They stoppedntalking to her too. They just decided to piss everyone off and make it hard for everyone around them. So you know what? Screw them. I truly dont care amymore.
Thankfully I called the deeds office and they said my aunt cant get it for me but I can email them a copy of my id the way it iis and they will over night me a birth cerfificate. So I wont loose my job....but....I feel like I could punch through steel at this point. It was bad enough the way they treated me growing up and tried to control everything I did...even down to trying to pick out who I dated, manipulated me, even saying racist things about the lovely muslim community that put together my WEDDING for god sake. Now they want to piss me off even more by costing me my first job? F*ck them. I dont need someone like that in my life anyway. Im just done. I dont care one way or the other if something happens to them now. They threw away their last chance they had to talk to me. They abused the fact Im a nice person and even considered giving them another chance. Im done being nice...and Im done caring.
-sighs and tries to calm down- Sorry about all this...I needed to vent...I couldnt hold that in anymore.
I'm sorry for this but I need to let off some steam...
I'm sorry I've ranted, whined, and flat out bitched up a storm on here lately but I really need to let some of the negative energy out. I feel like my blood is boiling just under the surface of my skin. I know I shouldn't let things get to me the way this house has but I'm at my limit here...I'm not sleeping, I'm getting headaches so frequent its like they never stop, and all this negative energy the dogs can sense so they stick to me like glue. I gets so bad I snap at them for worrying about me and I know that's wrong, I really do but constantly tripping over them while I'm cleaning up water in the kitchen floor is a bit much.
It turns out the pipes are frozen. The washer, kitchen sink, and dishwasher are all connected to each other and to the frozen drain outside on the back porch. Which after looking into it, apparently that is illegal. Also the draining system itself is running in reverse! Who in their right friggin mind would run them in reverse? Is it just me or is that just unprofessional??? I mean really...finding saw blades and Popsicle sticks in the trap was bad enough but this...-repeatedly hits head against table lightly-....I swear a monkey could have done a better job with the plumping in this house.
Let's not forget the furnace needs a new filter as well. Apparently its completely black. That can't be good for our lungs...much less my mother in law's lungs. She has a hard time with respiratory problems as it is. The bottom of the sink is rotted out and covered in black mold, so that's not healthy either....then I don't know if I told you guys about this or not but the toilet down stairs was missing a whole chunk out of the tank causing a massive leak...we had to take the toilet out but couldn't replace it till the next morning...which means the whole house smelled like raw sewage....and sadly i still does because we can't get rid of the smell even after we replaced the toilet. I feel so up tight and tense right now I bet I could turn coal into a diamond in three minutes...
-sighs and takes a bite of poptart- Because of this whole mess I'm just now eating breakfast and its...-looks at clock- 1:53pm. Theres another guy coming around five to check the electricity in the kitchen because the fan sizzles when you turn the light on. Sooo yeah....I'm not feeling as happy about this house as I was around the beginning of the month....god I need a hooka right now...not for drugs just for the flavored herbs to help calm my nerves. I feel like Lestat looked after Claudia tried to kill him...-rests head on table- I think I'm going to try and eat more then wash clothes or something...I may be on later I may not...hell at this point I should probably do lay down. I don't know we'll see...Again guys I'm really sorry about doing this again...I just need to let this out so I don't explode into little Usa chunks all over the living room walls.
I hope everyone has an awesome stress free day today. Have some fun too
Black Lady
