There are worse things than being alone. I wish I knew how to say it better.
But loneliness isn't the worst feeling--the absence of feeling is.
You hate the person you love. You hate the person you become. It never seems to matter how perfectly everything started. No matter what, you seem to find yourself either going along with every little inane thing they do or say to avoid an argument or you build sanctuaries for yourself away from them: little bubbles of peace and fecundity to revitalize yourself. You take longer and longer to get home from work or school. You stop at the library or the coffee shop on the way. You read adventure novels and magazines and sip coffee you barely taste. Slowly. Always slowly. because you know when you get home, you'll drown in gray. It won' be their fault. They'll just be gadding on about Fallout or Facebook. But his voice has become the house of your stagnation. You're suffocating on your own claustrophobia. You'll get out whether you mean to or not.
Feeling like a TOTAL women right now. '-___-
Insecure, egotistical, passive-aggressive....
More like a teenage girl, actually. I never wanted to be this way. *siiigh*
I REALLY HATE YO ASS RIIIIIIIIIIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOW~
So... I dig Florence and The Machine. They're rad. Fo rl.
There are rumblys in my tumbly. Sammich pls???
Oh. My. Bloody. Jizz.
This website is fucking ridiculous--i.e., completely discriminatory to all technology impaired people like myself. '-___-
I'm sorry if I missed any of your posts, guys. It's not that I don't care, it's that I don't have a working computer that I can use at home because my little brother Rob fucked up to a point where the whole house is now living a miserable, interweb-less existence lest he sneak on when he's not supposed to (any time at all) and I haven't figured out how to subscribe to people yet. ;~;
I'm beginning to have flashbacks of the time I joined myo. No idea what I was doing then either.
Anyway, I've been having really intense pain in lower left abdomen for the past two or three weeks. Went to the doctor yesterday. She didn't find anything. '-__- Might have to get an ultrasound to see if I have any cysts on my ovaries. (OH EM GEE, LADY TROUBLES!!!!)
I should probably go to the cafeteria to eat lunch and hang with Josh right now, but I really don't feel like it. He's probably busy making out with his nerd friends and orgasming over video games and the latest Mac computer and other things I really could care less about. I know he doesn't mean to, but he makes me feel extremely ignored and unimportent sometimes. Just one of those things that makes me wish I was a lesbion. At least when I had something to bitch about to one of my really close girlfriends, they listened to me. Sometimes.
Been talking to this chick Tiffany in my health class, who went to my high school, and she's okay. We're into some of the same stuff and both hate our teacher with a passion (she's one of those uppity, old white bitches who never shuts up and thinks she knows everything) and laugh over the same, stupid stuff, but sometimes she doesn't listen either. Then again, sometimes I don't. :/
Listening is a lost art.
There's something about this site that makes me want to break down in tears and stimultaneously put on my war paint and charge full speed ahead into the day so I can get it over with.
My eyes hurt too much and are too tired to do the former, so I guess I'll have to settle for the latter. :/
Apparently they finally shut us myotaku geezers down! :P There goes my childhood.
Anyway, how is everybody? I myself just finished up writing my paper for Womens Studies and am dead, dead tired. Josh and I are supposed to be celebrating our 13 month annivarsary today so hopefully I don't drop dead in the middle of smex time.
Jeez... I'm sorry, Adam, but this just does not feel the same as MyO. *sigh* Can't process the change right now, I'm sorry. I'll have to adjust later.